To wonder why some people are in denial about their weight?

[penciltop]

Not criticising anyone here but just wondering.

I had a morbidly obese friend who says she is that size because she is muscular and has 'big bones'. I don't comment but she clearly has a lot of fat on her body and she does overeat.

I have come across other people too who say people are healthier these days so are going to be bigger. People say it is because of genetics. Everyone is overweight in their family and that is the reason they are.

I know weight loss isn't easy - trying to lose weight myself! - but surely pretending it is because of reasons outside of your control isn't going to help. People keep telling me I am fine and I don't need to lose weight. Err yes I do according to BMI. I am in the overweight category

Not denying the reasons for people who have real medical reasons such as disabilities or because of medication

Rorty ask for a physiotherapist appointment. They are specialist in getting you the right exercises for you and may even be able to get you access to a hydrotherapy pool.
I had a very disabled DM, on all the wrong medicines, a good physio kept her reasonably fit and not too overweight. Her consultant reckons it added years to her life and improved its quality.

I agree genetics isnt solely responsible but it plays a part.

I was in denial about my weight for a long time. It was just too painful to address. When I did stop to think about it, I felt guilty and ashamed and the only way I was able to deal with these feelings was to stuff more food down. I had to get over that hump and look at better ways of addressing my negative feelings. I still struggle and I'm still a bit overweight. Kindness goes a long way.

I had an x who was plump. I said to him that I couldn't bear the feeling of being too full. And I can't. If I over do it I can't eat for the rest of the day. He got annoyed with me for saying that, like I was being smug. But it's interesting in my opinion that he and millions like him just didn't have that 'tipping' point, after which, eating is extremely un pleasant. I do understand that eating is comforting and it is for slim people too but only up to a point and then the feeling is so uncomfortable and so unpleasant that one doesn't willingly do it on purpose. This is just my experience btww, not trying to be scientific. But it's something I have noticed in friends, they either have that 'point' that they can identify, or not.

Thank you Gwenhwyfar I haven't said nasty things and have been honest about my own weight struggles.

I think you're brave posting this but you're right imo

It's hard to say things about weight I think without people getting upset.

My DM was always quite slim even after having 4 kids up until her late 30's when she gave up smoking and put a lot of weight on, once on she has never been able to shift it, she is a lot shorter than me at 5ft2, to my 5ft 7. I never put weight on normally and have always been the same size, around 8 1/2- 9 1/2 stone. I gave up smoking 5 years ago using patches and for the first time put a lot of weight on in a short period, 2 stone over a few month's, i started smoking again and lost it without dieting. I gave up smoking last year this time vaping and haven't put any weight on at all, stayed under 9 stone. Looking at what my DM eats i would say i eat a lot more, when i put 2 stone on it is not as obvious as my DM putting 2 stone on due to her being shorter

Bronde - I suppose we all sometimes have that 'eyes bigger than belly' thing. Sometimes when I'm at a restaurant I know I've gone over the tipping point and will have stomach ache all night, but I carry on because it's so good or because I've paid for it or the all 'finish your plate' thing. I agree it's bad and it might help if we eat more slowly. I hate those 'all you eat' places, so unhealthy, but they appeal to people on a budget.

"I agree genetics isnt solely responsible but it plays a part."

It plays a part in how much people want to eat. I'm not convinced it makes people fat in itself, it's still calories in v calories out and the countries where people are bigger are the ones that eat more and badly, it's not in the genes of particular nations.

Gwen I'm not saying that at all. She's not talking about the obseity crisis though. She has singled out an aquaintence and made judgements. At no point has the OP either disclosed her medical credentials, any credentials she may have in the arena of sociology, counselling, therapy or public health policy or any scientific research she has done to 'solve' this 'problem'. I haven't seen any particularly ground breaking ideas offered on here by the OP on this 'crisis'. In fact the OP has continually simply perpetuated the current 'fat people are ignorant and waste of space' paradigm that only serves to create division and unhappiness. Why anyone would choose to go about their life recreating these unhelpful frameworks I simply don't know.

"who I would NEVER admit to caring to. As far as they are concerned I love my fat arse! I love pies! I love lard!"

You've actually answered the OP's question - what appears to be denial could be fake denial as a protective mechanism.

VeletSpoon

I was about a size 12 at my fattest before I had my first child. I felt utterly disgusting and used to eat loads. When I fell pregnant I then got hyperemis gravardrium and lost all the weight even though I was pregnant. I then stuck to a healthy lifestyle and haven't gained additional weight since. However people often comment how thin I am, how do I stay so slim after having 2 children etc. I never had someone asking how I was fat and wobbly

Also I don't have issues with fat or thin people. You are what you are

What you term as 'in denial' is just a different level of importance. They are not as concerned about the potential health risks as you are. A true denial is probably uncommon.

Do you have nothing better to be worrying about? Surely you have your own life and you could concentrate on it!

I don't know why people have to get involved in things that do not affect them in any way; OK your friend is fat and what? By your own admission you are fat too, so sort out your own flab.

It doesn't harm you to any degree that you friend overeats. I have friends who are overweight, I have a friend who is severely underweight and you know what? I couldn't give a flying fuck because it's not my business and will only ever become my business if they themselves decide to involve me somehow.

Blonde that's a good point. I have one DS who has always been very slim. He is now mid puberty and has filled out a little, ut is still a normal weight, whereas his elder brother and i aren't, despite the fact he and his brother have always eaten the same. DS has something that I, his brother(and a lot of fat people) don't have. He knows exactly when he is just about full, and never eats beyond that. If it means leaving half his dinner, or just one carrot, he does. It used to annoy me chucking away unfinished food, but I see that his way is actually better. I am trying to learn when I'm full and stop exactly at that point.

Do you have nothing better to be worrying about? Surely you have your own life and you could concentrate on it!

I am not worrying just wondering. I can live my own life and wonder at the same time. It's called multitasking

By your own admission you are fat too, so sort out your own flab

I am sorting it out!

People can post about anything they want. It isn't compulsory for you to read the thread if you don't want so

I don't think I know anyone who is in denial about their own weight, although I know plenty who are in denial about their kid's weight.

Having said that, I sometimes think those who are constantly talking about 5:2 diets - explaining the ins out outs of all things scientific, those who seem to know everything there is to know about low carbing/low sugar, good fats/bad fats/trans fats - this that and the other.

They seem to be the people who either lose no weight at all, or continue to steadily gain.

Because while they're throwing themselves into all the research/knowledge/science etc, they feel they're doing something about their weight - but actually they're doing nothing at all except procrastinating, because the actual change is so hard.

It's a lot like when I used to smoke. I swear to god I must've read every single book telling me how to give up smoking, why I should give up smoking, what the effects of smoking are etc...etc...

That was my way of 'doing something' about my smoking habit.

Except what I really needed to do was actually stop smoking.

I've been very thin (BMI 18) and very overweight (BMI 36).
IME denial is just a defence mechanism because it's too painful to admit to your true feelings, at least to other people. Being overweight does affect my self esteem and I like to put on a brave face in public.
As a society it's easier for us to be in denial because the population as a whole has become heavier and therefore being overweight (at least to some extent) has become normalised. It's natural to compare ourselves to everyone else around us.
Generally I think it's a mistake to judge our weight on a) how we look and b) our clothes size. Both can be misleading and allow us to deceive ourselves.
Bmi, height/waist ratio and fat % are more accurate, and these measurements tend to correlate (for those who insist that Bmi is 'rubbish'), apart from a few athletes/bodybuilders.

Well, end this enormous struggle and let yourself pile the weight on if you think binge eating is such a wonderful thing

I didn't say it was a wonderful thing, I said there were positives, if there were no positives, absolutely none, nobody would do it. I also didn't say the positives outweigh the negatives. And as for ending this enormous struggle for myself, I think the very same thing every single day and have done for years and years.

Don't come onto a thread about weight and tell someone who struggles with binge eating that actually the struggle of binging and being fat isn't as hard as the struggle of feeling hungry and being healthy FFS. Seriously, what's going through your head that made you think this was a good case to try and argue?

I didn't come on the thread and say that. I challenged your assumption that people who are not overweight have no idea what it's like to struggle with their weight. It is you who is insisting that you have it harder than others. And how do you know that my struggle isn't harder than yours? Genuine question, please come back and answer.

What people are forgetting is that this is an obesogenic society. OW people are doing what the advertisers WANT us to do Healthy eating takes a strong will, and the time to prepare.

I'm amazed that the majority of the population are quite happy to drink highly sweetened colas every day and give it to their children. IME and O a lot of people are actually addicted to them and to wheat. Not a good place to begin a weight loss programme from.

Worra that's because diets don't work. You have to come 'off' a diet, to be 'on' one. And the likes of WW and SW make their money by retaining members for years, many of whom lose and regain the weight several times over.

And YY to the 'feeling you're doing something about it when you're not' thing. Again, with the slimming clubs, I've known people that actually think just by paying for monthly membership and even attending meetings but making absolutely no changes to their diet they are on the diet!

But snapcrap "ways of eating" DO work , changing our lifestyles does work, I know it. You're right though seeing a weight loss programme as a quick fix won't work.

Oh and btw LostMyDotBrain I fully support and sympathise with your weight and food issues. Shame you only seem to have contempt and dismissal of mine.

I have become overweight, not sure how badly, due to disability and difficulty exercising. Thing is, I have spent my entire life thinking I was fat - 50 odd years believing I was fat, seeing myself as fat. 50 fucking years, because I wasn't like Twiggy!

I see photos of me as a teen, in my 20s, 30s and so on, and I was NOT fat. Not fat, not skinny, bloody good shape tbh! And I was fit because I walked everywhere.

Now I am fat, and these days I don't really care. I do know that dieting is not going to help because the only thing I will think about is food. So instead of eating less I need to move more, so I need to go to the gym. But there my disability becomes a huge problem and so I am put off.

This is the sort of thing which puts one into denial. It just goes around in circles, and it's easier to just shove it away and ignore it.

I challenged your assumption that people who are not overweight have no idea what it's like to struggle with their weight.

You need to have a reread of my posts. As I've pointed out before, I made a point specifically about the people I outlined in my first post, not all people with a healthy weight.