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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Melania has made a terrible mistake hasn't she?

349 replies

LadyGlitterSparklesSeriously · 20/01/2017 09:36

Trump prods reluctant Melania to speak

She doesn't want to be there.

I feel quite sorry for her.

OP posts:
LunaLoveg00d · 20/01/2017 15:05

Luna didn't she claim to have post grad degrees in something legal?

Maybe, but according to the oracle of everything (Wikipedia) she dropped out after one year at Uni.

This website says she used to claim a degree in design and architecture on her personal website but that the page was taken down. heavy.com/news/2016/07/melania-trump-college-degree-did-graduate-slovenia-donald-past-university-of-ljubljana-republican-plagiarism-why-is-website-down/

She's certainly not a Harvard Law School graduate like Michelle Obama. It's unfair for the American people in general and her husband in particular to try to be something she's not - if she's happier standing smiling and looking great in Ralph Lauren let her do that, don't make her speak and lay her limitations open for everyone to criticise and compare her to Hillary or Michelle.

Valentine2 · 20/01/2017 15:11

I think it's time we give at least this woman a rest. I don't think she can leave him even if she wanted to. Besides, it's not like we the Brits have some kind of moral high ground as we have Boris etc. AND I doubt anyone can give any kind of proper intellectual label to Kate Middleton or Queen or Camilla? Probably the last prominently talented woman among Royals was Princess Diana and they killed her anyway. So I say we give this woman a rest and focus on the actual problem: Trump.

Valentine2 · 20/01/2017 15:13

I should say that at least Americans have had very highly educated First Ladies who get there after decades of hard work generally though admittedly are quite precluded already but then our Kate can't say she didnt have the resources Hmm

RobDykeWatcher · 20/01/2017 15:14

(She may have made a terrible mistake but I have to say, she is wearing a very nice outfit today while she makes it.)

I was gonna say she has a nice outfit on and I don't normally care about fashion or all the fuss about what anyone's wearing

Yeh she has a disadvantage to other First Ladies but give her a chance she might grow in confidence later on if Trump lets her

Valentine2 · 20/01/2017 15:14

Precluded = previledged

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 20/01/2017 15:14

I don't feel sorry for her. Why would I be sorry for a woman who stands by her man, and especially when that man is Trump?

She married him when he was already older, he already had his reputation and she's the third wife.
She's not a naive bumpkin thrust into a marriage by mistake.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 20/01/2017 15:15

She's married to a sexist pig, has lied, plagiarised etc etc. I have very little sympathy to be honest.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 20/01/2017 15:16

Of course she can leave him.

The two other wives did.

OneOrgasmicBirthPlease · 20/01/2017 15:16

It is the way he tells her to sit next to Phil at the end of her forced speech and she practically runs out of the room. He repeats himself to her and the aides, because maybe she did not hear him (you know, being stupid, foreign, and a woman) and she still refuses to sit down in front of him in the audience.

He quickly comes up with a joke and the audience laugh at her expense. Obviously it is small potatoes in terms of news, but what a chilling window into their lives. The body language is just awful - she is constantly leaning away from him and he summons her up to the podium like a dog. Those who think it staged clearly have a better opinion of Donald's and Melania's acting talents than I do.

There was a great observation up thread about how the most bigoted men have foreign wives. It clearly comes from a place of deep hatred and misogyny. They see women/foreigners as inherently inferior and are looking to have that constant feeling of superiority in a relationship because their fragile egos cannot handle being with an equal. They are monumentally insecure because they suspect, rather correctly, that they are deficient in their humanity. In order to forget about that deficiency and mask their own self-doubt and self-loathing, they choose a partner in whose eyes they can always see themselves loom at least twice their normal size. Part of it is making your wife financially dependant on you. Banks and Trump own their wives (through the vast difference in their personal wealth), Farage employs his.

Those who do not feel sorry for Melania fail to appreciate that money is no consolation when it is an instrument of control and you do not own any of it. You don't know that at the point of embarking on a new relationship, whatever your motivation. I am relieved for her and her son that she does not have to live with him.

SirChenjin · 20/01/2017 15:18

Good post One - absolutely agree.

MrsMogginsMinge · 20/01/2017 15:20

Those who marry for money earn every penny

Bestthingever · 20/01/2017 15:22

Why should anyone feel sorry for her? She's a terrible example to young girls and women. I was hoping to see Hilary Clinton in the White House as an example to my dd that women can be intelligent, assertive and powerful. Instead we have a First Lady who used to be a nude model (posing in handcuffs on occasions.) The last First Lady was a lawyer who cares about women's rights and developing countries. Before that, we had Laura Bush, a former librarian, who was passionate about reading and literacy. All great examples to girls. I hate Melania Trump because we have a generation of girls growing up shallow and self obsessed and we need strong female role models to try to counteract that not a fucking trophy wife.

LunaLoveg00d · 20/01/2017 15:23

Also, former presidents like Barack Obama and Bill Clinton treated their wives as their equals. Not just intellectually, but a true equal partner.

There is no way that Trump thinks of Melania as his equal.

EachandEveryone · 20/01/2017 15:28

Bill Clinton treated Hilary as an equal? Equal in what though?

PickledCauliflower · 20/01/2017 15:30

I don't feel sorry for Melania Trump. I don't get the impression that she was forced in to marrying him - and if she was unhappy, unable to divorce him.

Sadly, there are women and girls across the globe (including the UK) forced in to marriage, raped and unable to leave their "husbands".
Destitution and in many cases, death being the consequence of leaving.

OneOrgasmicBirthPlease · 20/01/2017 15:36

Bestthingever Feeling sorry for Melania is not an endorsement of her husband, rather an acknowledgement of the full extend of his shortcomings on every level.

Hillary in the White House would have been amazing, but Trump's abusive behaviour is hardly Melania's fault. I hate to say this, but The Donald is the one with all the power. While Melania is not be your ideal role model, she is hardly to blame for patriarchy.

SirChenjin, thank you!

SirChenjin · 20/01/2017 15:37

She's a terrible example to young girls and women

Let's not blame her - let's instead blame the voters who put her husband in power, and focus on the awful role model that he is for our sons and husbands. She didn't set herself up as a role model - she is like every other woman who marries for money, status or power.

SirChenjin · 20/01/2017 15:43

young boys and men - not sons and husbands, no idea why I wrote that Confused

ExplodedCloud · 20/01/2017 15:54

Yes Luna that rings bells.
As you say no Havard Law degree. I agree that she isn't going to be a high profile FL and probably best not to force it on her.

Goingtobeawesome · 20/01/2017 16:05

I've just watched the video and he really gave her no choice Sad.

BertrandRussell · 20/01/2017 16:09

It was staged. Why do people buy into this stuff?

SirChenjin · 20/01/2017 16:12

You think he staged his wife's public humiliation? You think her obvious mortification was staged?

hollyisalovelyname · 20/01/2017 16:14

She made her bed.....

UnexplainedOnHerCollar · 20/01/2017 16:15

Why would anyone think it would be a good idea to stage what happened there? It was embarrassing for everyone. It looks more like he told her to speak and she said she didn't want to, so he put her on the spot in front of an audience to force her into it.

BertrandRussell · 20/01/2017 16:15

Obvious mortification? Are we watching different videos?