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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To falsify my child's reading diary?

147 replies

bookworm80 · 19/01/2017 16:54

This year our school has made reading every night compulsory homework. The children have to read at least 5 times a week and enter it into a reading diary.
We are big book lovers in our house and I don't want to put my child off reading by insisting she do it when she is not in the mood. She does sporting clubs 3 times a week and is often tired after school. I don't want it to seem like another thing to get through or a punishment. I still read to her on a night which she loves, and she is a great reader herself so I really don't see the need for pushing it.
At the start of the year she was in trouble with her new teacher for not reading as much as she should. I went to see the teacher to explain my views. She totally didn't get it. So since November we have been falsifying my daughter's reading diary. She reads a good chapter twice a week but we enter it into her diary as 5 different entries. My daughter is happy and her teacher is happy, but I feel guilty (have even name changed as wouldn't want anyone to know). What do you think? AIBU?

OP posts:

smilingsarahb · 19/01/2017 16:56

How well does your child read for her age?

RatherBeRiding · 19/01/2017 17:00

If she is within the reading standards for her age I'd falsify it too. In fact I probably did when my DC where of primary age.

Especially if you're reading to her at night - you could always read together a bit so she is looking at the book as you're reading it?

I agree that turning reading into a chore isn't the best way to encourage a love of reading, but some schools/teachers seem hell bent on box ticking.

Original poster

bookworm80 · 19/01/2017 17:01

She's on the top table for reading and is on free-reading books, so good, as far as I know. I don't have any concerns at all, she has good intonation and understanding when she reads to me, she just doesn't want to do it every day.

OP posts:

Toocold · 19/01/2017 17:02

Yanbu, I have been doing something similar as my sons teacher insists he has to read Monday to Friday, she doesn't seem to get that we have three children, one a newborn who has health conditions and that we don't always have time Monday to Friday, usually do four days skip Fri and do it on Sunday, so same amount of reading but I right it down as Mon to Fri otherwise she moans, no idea why she cares as it's the same amount, she also moans about homework being handed in early and no on the exact day it is due in, I was about to be induced so it went in early...she's pregnant...be interesting to see if she changes! I agree with you forced reading will put a child off.

llangennith · 19/01/2017 17:04

I used to write some short boring comment in DGS's reading record book most nights whether or not he'd read to me. He hated reading and I didn't think either forcing him to read or keeping him on the same boring book for weeks would benefit anyone.
He's a keen reader now.

Toocold · 19/01/2017 17:05

Write it down!

Original poster

bookworm80 · 19/01/2017 17:08

That's ridiculous Toocold!

OP posts:

Original poster

bookworm80 · 19/01/2017 17:09

I'm feeling better now. I get attacks of the guilt when she comes home with house points for this weeks "efforts"

OP posts:

stillstandingatthebusstop · 19/01/2017 17:09

I used to read the school book to DS when he was tired etc. I wrote "Good reading" in his reading record. It was kind of true.

Coconut0il · 19/01/2017 17:15

As long as she's reading it I don't think it matters if it's entered as 1 or 5 entries. I'd do exactly what you're doing.

YouTheCat · 19/01/2017 17:17

I'd totally do this.

MrsScrubbingbrush · 19/01/2017 17:17

I do exactly the same.

DDs are supposed to read 4 times a week for 15 minutes each time (so 1 hour a week). Sometimes they'll read for a couple of hours on say 2 nights in a week but will be too busy/tired to read again. I tell them to just split it over 4 nights.

Also, they read by themselves in bed at night do I have no idea how long they read for (sometimes neither do they).

They are both good readers, well above their reading age so I don't want them to lose the love of reading by forcing the situation.

Reading should be a pleasure not a chore!

purplepandas · 19/01/2017 17:18

I would so do it too. It's madness, what an amazing amount of pressure on families. Downtime is important too. I worry about children being put off also and if your DD is progressing well then I would do the same (and not feel guilty).

Namejustfornappies · 19/01/2017 17:19

I write up dd1s bedtime story in her reading record book as if she read it she reads loads when she's in the mood, so I reckon it evens out.
Forcing reading is Not Good in my opinion (readaholic).

QueenofLouisiana · 19/01/2017 17:21

Make sure you have a few different pens to hand do it isn't all in the same one! clearly I never did this at all,nope, never

Lndnmummy · 19/01/2017 17:21

I do this. We read what we are supposed to but not when we are supposed to but I just write it as the school wants me.

TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 19/01/2017 17:21

Clearly you'll rot in hell for this, but in a very busy part full of a lot of other parents.

Letustryagain · 19/01/2017 17:23

DD is doing this new AR (Accelerated Reading Scheme) (she's just started in Y3) and is on a fairly high level. She's always been a slow reader but has very good comprehension of the story. We actually read her books together (she reads a chapter to me and then I read two to her) to get us through the God awful books she has to choose from. She can only do the quizzes at school though and gets 100% so she's clearly understood all of the book which is what AR is all about. I'm not sure we're supposed to read it with them but I think we all have to falsify these days to put our DCs off of learning altogether with the sort of pressure they're under!!!

Thumbcat · 19/01/2017 17:26

I do this when the book is really rubbish. DS is a good reader and enjoys books but some of the school books are such dross that neither of us can face them.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 19/01/2017 17:26

We have been told to do this.
Except my sons teacher has told us to put in the reading diary that they didn't want to or were bored of the particular book.
I didn't write one day "Ds threw a massive tantrum at the thought of reading this book again" I put "Ds was rather reluctant today."

paxillin · 19/01/2017 17:27

We did it. Child read three-four times, the rest I filled in as needed. I came to see the resentment of Biff, Chip and fucking Kipper as a sign of a discerning reader and would have been worried at any enthusiasm shown for them.

Jaxhog · 19/01/2017 17:27

Seems very prescriptive to me. Like you're an extension of school processes. But it's aimed at mums who don't do what you do. They probably falsify the records too, so its a bit pointless.

LivingOnTheDancefloor · 19/01/2017 17:28

YANBU I would do the same, especially since your DD loves to read and has a good level

Bushymuffmum · 19/01/2017 17:28

I do this op!! In fact I considered starting this very thread myself but then thought "I don't really care if people do think I'm being unreasonable! I have a big age gaps between kids and have been going to the same school for years and the reading has just become ridiculous imo. You used to just be advised to read 2-3 times a week and they left you to it. Now it's constant comments in the book "please read every night" my dd coming home and saying "teacher says why are we not readi every night" blahblah. She only started school in fucking September she's knackered every night. I'm so sick of it that now I just read a few times a week and write a false comment in the other nights. You can tell it's just pressure from the head and the constantly escalating demands that they be doing better.
I think there's a lot to be said for allowing your kids to learn at their own pace and not be force fed books. My dd has already started saying "but I don't want to do Iiiiiiit!" My others were the same and are fantastic readers, well above their age group.
So no, YANBU!

throwingpebbles · 19/01/2017 17:28

This forcing children to read makes me cross! They will benefit far more in the long wrong if they think of reading/learning as pleasurable activities.

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