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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To falsify my child's reading diary?

147 replies

bookworm80 · 19/01/2017 16:54

This year our school has made reading every night compulsory homework. The children have to read at least 5 times a week and enter it into a reading diary.
We are big book lovers in our house and I don't want to put my child off reading by insisting she do it when she is not in the mood. She does sporting clubs 3 times a week and is often tired after school. I don't want it to seem like another thing to get through or a punishment. I still read to her on a night which she loves, and she is a great reader herself so I really don't see the need for pushing it.
At the start of the year she was in trouble with her new teacher for not reading as much as she should. I went to see the teacher to explain my views. She totally didn't get it. So since November we have been falsifying my daughter's reading diary. She reads a good chapter twice a week but we enter it into her diary as 5 different entries. My daughter is happy and her teacher is happy, but I feel guilty (have even name changed as wouldn't want anyone to know). What do you think? AIBU?

OP posts:
ManonLescaut · 19/01/2017 17:28

I'm old-fashioned and think children should read every day. It's like music practice. Reading to her isn't the same.

I certainly wouldn't prioritise sport over it. But it really depends. Some children aren't big readers anyway.

clarehhh · 19/01/2017 17:28

Just write too tired I read to her tonight.

oklumberjack · 19/01/2017 17:30

YANBU. I do the similar.

My ds is 10 and is currently reading HP The Prisoner if Azkaban. He tends to read it on Fridays and Saturday night when he can stay up later. Occasionally a bit in the week. I write it all as separate entries in his diary.

He's near the top of his class for reading and writing. I have no qualms about it.

BToperator · 19/01/2017 17:30

YANBU, its crazy to insist they read five nights a week. I'm all for encouraging reading but people are busy, and DC are not machines.

bigbluebus · 19/01/2017 17:31

I have been a volunteer listening to school children read for 10 years. I have lost count of the number of times I have opened a reading record and said to a child "I see you have read some of XYZ story to Mum" to which the child replies "No" and looks blankly at me!

So you will not be the first parent to 'lie' in the reading record, I can assure you. If you are confident that your child is ahead of the game with her reading and you are doing some 1:1 reading with her, then I wouldn't stress about it. FWIW I rarely read with my DS when he was at school as he was free reading (self taught) when he started school and never followed a reading scheme. He usually had at least 3 books on the go at any one time, so logging 10 mins reading a day in his reading record was pointless.

TheTantrumCometh · 19/01/2017 17:32

I don't see any benefit in forcing a child to read when they're just not interested. It will only make her resent it and see reading as a chore. Developing and nurturing a love of books and of reading is more more beneficial both in the short and long term.

I would absolutely falsify them, too.

TheDowagerCuntess · 19/01/2017 17:32

I certainly wouldn't prioritise sport over it. But it really depends. Some children aren't big readers anyway.

They aren't prioritising sport over it; they're prioritising sport as well as it.

The OP's DD is a good reader. She is getting plenty of reading in.

There is no issue here.

Tidypidy · 19/01/2017 17:33

I think reading to your child is just as important as them reading to you. They can hear you adding expression, using different voices etc and just enjoy the story. I always falsify the record as it all evens out in the end.

RobotLover68 · 19/01/2017 17:33

I used to get them to read, then put it over two nights

so if they did page 1-10 for example, I'd write night 1 p1-5, night 2 p6-10

my youngest's son's teacher NEVER checked the diary, NEVER wrote in it once! Then at the end of the year she called all the reading diaries in. When he was given it back to start year 1 - she had been through it and written comments all the way through!!!

iloveeverykindofcat · 19/01/2017 17:36

Ugh what nonsense. A good reader shouldn't be forced to read to schedule. Fastest way to kill a passion for books in my opinion. My mum read to us every night even though I was well above my reading age, and if the story was good (or I suspected she was censoring parts) I would find it and read it myself the next day. And I did my BA and MA in English Lit before I switched to cultural studies so it clearly never did me any harm!

nocampinghere · 19/01/2017 17:36

i do it all the time

as long as they are reading regularly i think that's ok. it's good for more reluctant readers to get them in the habit - something they have to do little and often.

PrincessHairyMclary · 19/01/2017 17:36

I do this, DD doesn't get in till 6 most nights. If DD has read a lot of pages in one go I break it down as different dates, I write down the bed time stories I read and say what we discussed or get her to read a small amount etc.

It's ridiculous so many of us do this and if DD was a struggling reader I wouldn't but like you OP she's a good reader so don't see the problem.

paxillin · 19/01/2017 17:36

Mine fakes it himself now. Reads loads on the weekend and puts a small entry in every day of the week Grin. And I did prioritise sports on sport days and music on music days over the reading scheme books. Result being he now like most kids, reads very well, but also plays instruments and sports.

fivepies · 19/01/2017 17:39

I just wish I had the opportunity to falsify the reading record. My year 1 child has to write 2-3 sentences and draw a picture for every book. It takes so much longer and is that much harder to get her to do the work after school. The actual reading is less of a problem, but the associated homework is too much.

It's not like the teacher makes any comments on it.
Don't get me started on the 'reading competition' either!!!

WatchfulOwl · 19/01/2017 17:39

Just make sure DD doesn't grass you up!

School I used to work in did something like this, every child who had read X times a week had their name stuck up on the door. There was then a reward at the end of the year for the children who were consistently 'Star Readers'.

Me: Well done Jack you've read 4 times this week, so that means you're a Reading Star!

Jack: No I didn't, my Mum just signs my diary every night so I don't get told off.

Smile
Ilovewillow · 19/01/2017 17:40

My daughter is yr 4 and a free reader so it's a bit easier - they are encouraged to read five times a week but it doesn't have to be every night. They have a raffle ticket system whereby they read five times they get 1, write some comments in the book - 2 and good comments and over 5 times - 3! If they read twice a day so once at school at lunchtime in the library for example and once at home then they get two entries. The free readers are given free rein to fill in their own records and take ownership. It seems to work well and I haven't put extra entries in when she hasn't read but if she has read less through tiredness or a busy week I do write that it. Seems to be about. Wing flexible but supporting the school and your child particularly if it's an area they struggle with.

AliceInUnderpants · 19/01/2017 17:40

IMO, yabu to falsify the record. Just be honest with what you do.

Don't teach your child that if you don't want to do what is asked of you that you can lie about it.

Wolfiefan · 19/01/2017 17:40

But she's reading! You're not lying about how much she reads. I think the "at least 5 days a week" thing is a bit mad. We have swimming and brownies and gymnastics to fit in too!

toptoe · 19/01/2017 17:41

yanbu as that is a goal and should not be compulsory imo. Your dc is reading well and fairly often. I'd nudge them to read a bit more 3 -4 times a week maybe reading in bed. But agree if they don't want to then don't make it a chore. It should be a pleasure. Sometimes I read my dc' s book to them if they're really tired, that might be something to consider.

The reading thing is linked to improving deeper thinking, creative thinking and writing skills as dc mimc the writers' style.

ManonLescaut · 19/01/2017 17:42

If you're doing sports 3 x a week and the child is too tired to read afterwards then sport is coming first on those days.

It's perfectly possible to do sport and music and read daily.

My kids do an hour and half music practice daily, that doesn't get them out of reading daily too. Or sport for that matter.

Previouslurker · 19/01/2017 17:42

I write in her diary - 'Dd found this book boring! ' luckily she has a great teacher who let's her swap it without forcing her to drudge through the rest of it.

toptoe · 19/01/2017 17:44

And...I don't think there should be sanctions for dc's work outside of school at primary level as this is often out of the dc's control.

Floralnomad · 19/01/2017 17:46

The facts are that she does read what you write down she just reads it at different times so I really can't see the problem . Both of my DC were reluctant readers when they were small ,although both read very well and I never forced them to read . Both started reading for pleasure as teens .

LilCamper · 19/01/2017 17:46

Mine is still filling out a reading diary in year six. Falsify it OP. Mine has loads of interests besides reading and I am an absolute speed reading bookworm.

NetflixandBill · 19/01/2017 17:46

It does sound over prescriptive. I don't see why being read to isn't enough as surely it's still enjoying books and stories.

I would worry a bit about allowing my child to accept praise for things she hadn't done and for colluding against the teacher. I'd have to explain it to her in such a way that showed that she had completed enough reading, but just over a different timescale, rather than falsify the whole thing.