To falsify my child's reading diary?

[bookworm80]

This year our school has made reading every night compulsory homework. The children have to read at least 5 times a week and enter it into a reading diary.
We are big book lovers in our house and I don't want to put my child off reading by insisting she do it when she is not in the mood. She does sporting clubs 3 times a week and is often tired after school. I don't want it to seem like another thing to get through or a punishment. I still read to her on a night which she loves, and she is a great reader herself so I really don't see the need for pushing it.
At the start of the year she was in trouble with her new teacher for not reading as much as she should. I went to see the teacher to explain my views. She totally didn't get it. So since November we have been falsifying my daughter's reading diary. She reads a good chapter twice a week but we enter it into her diary as 5 different entries. My daughter is happy and her teacher is happy, but I feel guilty (have even name changed as wouldn't want anyone to know). What do you think? AIBU?

I falsify my own reading record all the time.

"Click here to indicate you have read the T&C of (insert random shop's webpage)".
Click.

Monday morning, dull meeting. "Have you all read the 20 page summary of the Health and Safety executive committee about the use of toasters in the work environment? I emailed it Friday night." Naturally, fascinating stuff .

I write something in book whether DD 7 has read to me or not.

She reads books to herself, she reads the writing on the back of the cereal box, the signs along the roadside when we're out and about and the menu when we're in the pub.

She reads the top trump cards, the monopoly cards and the trivial persuit cards when we play together.

She reads the magazines, letters and leaflets that come through the door.

So if she hasn'tactually read a page about Biff and Chip to me one evening i will quite happily write in her book that she has.

YADNBU.

I am so going to do this! Why didn't I think of this before...

I am disappointed that the teacher did not listen to your views - you know your own child best! That is actually quite simply rude, apart from being bad practice.

I cannot think of any parent I know who has not made these things up just to shut folk up. My children are in the 30s and 40s now and are very well educated - but I falsified lots - I even did one lot of homework myself because it was such bollocks that I was not prepared to watch my DD waste a moment of her precious young life on it!

Parents are entitled to have a view on their child's education and to help them to retain come balance in their lives. All power to your elbow!

I wish teachers would focus their efforts on those children who really do not have proper support at home.

I totally agree with QuackDuckQuack: "I think that modelling to your DD how to skirt around unnecessarily onerous rules is actually quite a good life lesson. I know that others have called it 'teaching your child to lie'. But the adult world is massively supported by white lies and omissions. Kids have to learn that eventually."

I've been falsifying for years. They are excellent and engaged readers though. Just another hoop to jump through.

I don't falsify it, but teacher is reasonable. child is encouraged to read every day but not presurised and therefore reading record actually makes sense. We actually do about 3x per week.

I write in dcs book when they have read. It may not be their reading book, it might be a menu at pizza hut or signs on the way to swimming, either way i always write good confident reading.

I cant lie, the kids would grass me up, i just bend the truth to suit.

Can ds read the signs on the way to her clubs or do like i do when reading and get them to read the part of one of the characters in the bedtime story, then its not homework, its fun with mum!

Same at our school. You must read 5 times each week or teacher will get cross. My kids are good readers, they might read for 90 mins at a time. Another night they might have other stuff to do/attend/be knackered so they do none. I divide it up and sign every day. The kids get praised. The box gets ticked. I have zero guilt.

I do this regularly!!'y DD is in yr 5. She is a bookworm loves to read lots of different types of book & does so every night without being told. But the utter crap she gets sent home from school!! She's a free reader but has to have books from approved list- the last offerings have been MAcbeth & Wuthering Heights she's 10 FFS!! The cover alone is enough to put you to sleep- drab & boring!!
I have told her teachers before that more often than not she doesn't read what's sent home because they are awful- they haven't disagreed. I think as long as they are reading something they enjoy that's at their level is is no issue. Better that than putting them off reading completely 📚 📚

I think children should be reading every day. Doesn't have to be chapters and chapters but something at least. Does she not even have a spare 10 minutes to read something?

Like it or not you are prioritising her sporting activities over reading, but that's up to you.

DS's school keeps a record card of how many reads they do. Completing the 50 boxes on the card is a certificate. A box is completed for each day they read. I've not signed off reads that he hasn't done, but if he's done multiple sessions (morning and evening) then I've used them on a date where he was too tired. The purpose of the card is to encourage frequency of reading, so I feel that's still in the right spirit of the purpose.

Over Christmas I included shared reads, and books like The Snowman without words.

He's still young, so energy can be an issue later in the week. Reading is not easy to him, so I'm trying to strike the balance between frequency and keeping it pleasurable. There's nothing to gain by claiming he's read what he hasn't, but fudging a date by 12 hours isn't something that I'll lose sleep over.

My interest is the long game, gently developing his reading skills and giving him a love of reading. Some of that is practice. Some of that is me reading more advanced material to him, and giving him access to a range of fiction and non fiction. It's also respecting when it's worth encouraging him, and when it's worth backing off.

By the time you get to the free-reading stage, it is a hoop jumping exercise to tick the boxes of the powers that be.

But reading 10 mins each day actually isn't very pleasurable compared to getting stuck in for an hour or so. Obviously this depends on the age of the child, their reading ability and the book. But I doubt many adults would choose to pick up a novel and read 10 mins every day.

Agree, 10 minutes a day is nonsense once past the odious Biff, Chip and Kipper books. Couple of binge reads to finish a big book and then put a couple of chapters into the journal every day is my DC's own way of faking it. I approve. I haven't said it aloud, but I'm sure they know I know.

YANBU....destroying your kids enthusiasm for reading must be avoided at all costs....

Ideally you would convince the school of the counter productive nature of their policy on reading rather than show your kid how to lie to the school, but both options are vastly superior to enforced reading.

I do this all the time too with mine. Its ridiculous. If i go to hell, so be it, i wont be alone.

The point of regular reading - and the reading record - is to get your child into the habit of reading. The teacher simply wants your child to practice with you, and your verification this is happening. It can be fiction, non-fiction, newspapers, a kids' bible, whatever: just read, regularly, even if it is only for 5 minutes. That's better than none.

i don't really agree with falsifying the record, particularly if your child is aware you are doing it. That isn't a good message to send.

Ha with dd1 (7.5) I read with her once then get her to read the rest and ask comprehension questions. She reads a book a night independently anyway.

With dd2 (4) I read with her 3 times a week on average.

They are both above average readers. Dd1 hates reading to me as she reads so fast in her head now she finds it frustrating.

I don't bother writing fake comments, I work ft and have 3 children there is not always time. Homework should be realistic and achievable. If they are exhausted they can't learn effectively anyway.

I told ds' teacher that I understood why she had to do a log to encourage some parents/students, but that we didn't need the encouraging and that I didn't have the time or inclination to fill in a reading log. She was, like your ds' teacher unsympathetic so, I just didn't fill it in and ds got bad marks for reading. It was all a little absurd when at the end of the year he had the highest scores on the standardized exams and was assessed as being the most fluent reader in the year, but had the lowest scores in the class from his teacher. I just didn't care about elementary school grades as they were meaningless and I just never showed ds his report cards and he is such a space cadet that he didn't even realize they were produced until dd asked for a copy of hers when she came along 2 years later.

I only sign DS's reading record once a week and it has the same comment each time "DS enjoyed reading x book. He read for more than 70 minutes."

The only thing I hate about his school, and in particular this years teacher, is the reading thing. Ds loves reading. He reads newspapers, websites, books, recipes... he's always spelling out new words and he reads more than any of my other kids (he's 4th of 6). However he likes to read books in chunks for an hour or two at a time. He likes to get into the subject and will read a book in 2 nights rather than picking it up and putting it down every night.

His teacher last year totally got this and was happy that he reads every day and reads his book 2/3 times a week. Not this year. This year his teacher wants him reading his reading book for 10 minutes every single night. No more, no less. Nothing else counts. Over a bank holiday weekend when he was poorly he read the first Harry Potter book. He got told off because he didn't read his school book (that he'd already read cover to cover) each night).

I'm not having a tick box exercise wrecking his love for reading so I refuse to fill it in each day.

YANBU i would do the same thing. As long as shes reading well and enjoys it what is the point of forcing her and risking her natural enjoyment?

As a teacher who sets reading logs I fully expect this and I undestand- I just want the reading happening in whatever allotments you choose.
YANBU

YANBU, my two are in their early 20's now and DD was and still is a great reader so we had no problems with reading logs. DS on the other hand loathed reading and I often had to sign saying he had read when, in fact, I had read to him. Eventually I told his teachers and they agreed that being read to was better than not at all.

DS often reminds me of the days when I read The BFG to them (obviously I read other things but The BFG stands out for him) and clearly remembers the agony of 'having' to read. It set him on a path of reading avoidance throughout his entire life until very recently. A couple of months ago he proudly exclaimed "mum, I'm reading a book". Turns out he actually enjoys reading and has even been known to get off his PC or phone to go and read - wonders will never cease

I falsified my own reading log for a full school year at 8. I was a free reader and they expected me to read out loud 10 mins a day. In hindsight everyone probably worked it out as I doubt I faked my mum's signature that well.

DS7 is a good reader and we're more likely to be shouting at him to put the book down than forcing him to read. I have agreed with his teacher that he doesn't need to read aloud to me but I will fill in the logs with the reading books he's had each week so that they have a record of the books he's read.

I think I didn't tell my mum there was a reading log to fill in 😀