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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So jealous of my friends with newborns

52 replies

DoubleCarrick · 19/01/2017 13:52

AIBU to ask for your support?

Baby is now 13 days old and we've been home from hospital for a grand total of 2 days. They don't have a clue what is wrong with him apart from his oxygen levels being low.

I have a few friends who have also had babies within the last few weeks and they are out and about while I'm stuck in this place.

I just want my baby to be well and enjoy family time. Currently me and dh are doing back to back shifts - I'm on days, he's on nights. I miss him, I miss life. I'm just so sad and worried. My newborn won't be a newborn for much longer.

Massive pity party, sorry

OP posts:
Original poster
DoubleCarrick · 19/01/2017 13:53

To clarify we were home on Friday evening and readmitted Sunday afternoon. We aren't home now

OP posts:
itsallbollocks · 19/01/2017 14:00

So sorry that your baby is in hospital, and I hope that your lo gets well soon. My ds was in scbu for 9 nights when he was born, and has sn now. I understand the longing for normality. The important thing to remember is that your baby is in the best place, and receiving the love and care they need. Hope that you can all be home soon.

TooSmittle · 19/01/2017 14:01

Oh love that sound horrible Flowers

I can well imagine it's all a bit heartbreaking and scary right now. Do you want to tell us more about what's been happening to your baby? Just to get it all out?

Be kind to yourself and carry on being as strong as you're being. Lots of love to you all and huge congratulations for your new arival.

SparklyFuckingBusinessFairy · 19/01/2017 14:02

Oh OP, that must be so stressful. Fingers crossed that he comes home SOON.

Original poster
DoubleCarrick · 19/01/2017 14:14

He's such a tiny little beauty. 6lb6 but very skinny. He looks like a pixie.

Had him at home and there were no complications. It was all perfect. The next day we both got admitted onto postnatal after having to go in to be checked. They took him down to scbu on day 3 after his feeding continued to deteriorate, he got sleepier, etc. They thought he had meningitis. I've been told that's the worst day for hormones. I refused to see him. My husband spent the day downstairs with him while I cried on the postnatal ward all day.

We were released after a week but back I again two days later. Children's ward this time. They just can't work out what is wrong

OP posts:
guiltynetter · 19/01/2017 14:17

oh double that must be so tough for you. i hope you can get some answers soon, my DD had a 10 day hospital stay when she was born and it was an awful time. thinking of you.

SaltedCaramelEverything · 19/01/2017 14:21

@DoubleCarrick I've just recognised your name from a thread on pregnancy about positive thinking (I didn't come on MN for a few months as anxiety was high!) but YANBU. Welcome to the world to your baby boy!!! Hoping things improve Flowers he sounds gorg and pixie is such a cute way to describe him!

UnbornMortificado · 19/01/2017 14:23

Double my DD2 was in neonatal 6 weeks it's really hard going not being able to take them home Flowers

blueberryporridge · 19/01/2017 14:28

Congratulations on your new baby. I know myself how hard to have your LO in hospital, quite the opposite of how you were imagining things. It is OK to feel sorry for yourself. You were not expecting this and it is hard to accept.

I would recommend going on to the BLISS website for advice and moral support from other folk going through the same sort of thing. I found it helped when I realised that I wasn't the only one going through it.

Hope you all get home soon for lots and lots of cuddles.

Frazzled2207 · 19/01/2017 14:29

Congratulations on the birth of your son.
That sounds very hard going.
Rest assured the docs will be doing all they can to get him sorted.
Fingers crossed for some good news soon.
Try to sleep as much as you can because you probably won't when he does come home properly.

TooSmittle · 19/01/2017 14:37

SaltedCaramel is right, pixie is an adorable way to describe him! He sounds just beautiful.

Original poster
DoubleCarrick · 19/01/2017 16:48

It's funny, he's got a tiny little face and his daddies big ears. I've been calling him pixie face Blush

He was off his oxygen earlier and his stats dropped but now he's back on, he's perfect. We've been waiting two days for a bed at another hospital so we can go and see the cardiologist

OP posts:
Colabottle10 · 19/01/2017 16:59

I totally sympathise.

I had my DS back in July. An elective CS at 37+5 as he was big on the scans (though I believe they had the dates wrong but that's another story). Anyhow, out he popped, all 9lb 7 of him, all fine and healthy. Then the next day they thought he was jaundiced and it all went downhill. In short, he was under lights for 3 days and had to have a horrible mask over his eyes the whole time and I wept and wept. He had to have a feeding tube in and it was just awful. DH had the business and the animals to sort out as well as coming in to see us, he found it very tough. We went home on day 6 and were then readmitted on day 9 for another 3 days and more lights.

Just awful. It's not what I imagined at all.

I bet after a home birth, the medicalisation of it all is very stressful. Why don't you tell us about the birth? Was that how you wanted it to be at home? Was it lovely?

Original poster
DoubleCarrick · 20/01/2017 19:39

It's just hideous. The home birth was just amazing and I have the most beautiful pictures that the midwife took. We chose the home.birth to avoid intervention and now we have nothing but intervention! He screamed for half an hour this morning when they were trying to take bloods.

We saw the cardiologist today as they thought that he had a problem with blood flow coming from lungs to heart. They said that would require open heart surgery but thank goodness that's been ruled out.

Problem is, now his heart has been given a clean bill of health what is the next step. What's wrong with my baby Sad

OP posts:
Abraiid2 · 20/01/2017 19:41

So tough for you. I'm sorry.

Phalarope · 20/01/2017 19:45

You poor thing. Are you getting much support, if you aren't getting to see your DH much?

DesignedForLife · 20/01/2017 19:46

So sorry, I hope it all gets sorted soon and he can get on with enjoying family life

TonaldDrump · 20/01/2017 19:48

My dd1 (now 13!) was in the nicu for the first few weeks of her life. I remember feeling exactly the same. She was a beautiful little baby and all the other mums on the ward had their babies with them and would around with them and I couldn't do that with my gorgeous little poppet. And coming home and leaving my baby at the hospital was horrible.
But it passes and the main thing is to be at the right place to get better. You've got a whole lifetime to spend with your baby.

Twinchaos1 · 20/01/2017 20:42

It is no fun having a baby in special care. I did get to know some of the other mums and dads that were there and that helped a bit. Try and look after yourself as much as possible.

ollieplimsoles · 20/01/2017 20:51

Plenty of support here for you op, keep posting if it helps you to order your thoughts.

Its very tough but you are being the most amazing parents you can be for him right now FlowersFlowersFlowers

Alex83 · 20/01/2017 21:09

double I'm so sorry you're going through all this Flowers

DD (now 3) was in NICU for a week after birth and it was the most awful, heartbreaking time. I'll never forget it. I think unless you've been through it you just can't understand. Being discharged from hospital without my baby was such a hard thing.

I had people saying to be (after DD was discharged from NICU) that 'all's well that ends well' etc and they just couldn't understand how traumatic and heartbreaking the experience had been. It took me a long time to realise that it was ok for me to be upset about the fact that my birth and the following few weeks weren't what I had hoped for and dreamed about. Obviously the most important thing right now is for your gorgeous baby boy to get better and he's in the best place but it's also ok for you to feel cheated and upset about everything. It's ok to feel like that!

Thinking of you Brew

mum2Bomg · 20/01/2017 21:14

I really feel for you. DD is 6 weeks old and I don't really have anything helpful to add, just that I truly hope you get a diagnosis and solution and get home soon x Flowers

Don't beat yourself up for being sad x

mum2Bomg · 20/01/2017 21:17

Also my friend had something very similar happen and she is now at home with her little boy. She says it felt like forever whilst she was stuck in hospital but it feels a lot less once you're home.

Valentine2 · 20/01/2017 21:19

YADNBU for feeling this way. It must be so so hard for you and your family. There is not much we can say to help you feel better. your bundle of joy is the whole point of it and you are being sent truck loads of wishes and kisses for your newborn. I hope this thread helps you to stay strong through this time. Flowers

doleritedinosaur · 20/01/2017 21:23

Aw carrick I'm so sorry your little boy is still poorly & they can't work it out.
(From the positivity thread,) I really hope they figure it out soon so you can take him home.

I don't have any experience but from mum friends who have spent time in hospital with babies they said talking to other parents going through it helped & they still meet up today, when the babies are over 2.

Try not to be so hard on yourself, you're doing amazing.

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