Good sleepers are less intelligent kids???

[SparklyFuckingBusinessFairy]

Chatting with a colleague yesterday about our babies (16 months old), and she was moaning that her DS never sleeps. DD is a pretty good sleeper these days, usually sleeps for 10-12 hours. Then she said smugly, "of course, they say poor sleepers are much more intelligent," at which I was a bit . Even if you think that, even if it's scientifically true, you don't say it in those circumstances.

However, it is certainly true that her DS is very advanced; he walked at 10 months and says loads of words, whilst DD is bang on average so far and just has a few words that all sound the same (cheese, sneeze etc).

What are your experiences - are good sleepers and easy going kids generally less smart? Or can I tell her to get stuffed with her smugness?! And was she as rude as I thought she was, or was I being hypersensitive and perceiving criticism where there was none?

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It was rude! But she didn't mean it that way. As others have said, she was probably trying to make herself feel better. I very much doubt there's any link.

I had something similar the other day, our next door neighbour was commenting on how calm and contented my DD is, then said "she's nothing like my granddaughter who is so spirited and has so much personality and is so intelligent".

I was pretty but I just smiled politely as her granddaughter threw a "spirited" screaming tantrum in the background...

I'm fairly sure I saw recently on a facebook meme that intelligent people need less sleep. I think it's one of those things that drifts around to make people feel better. Like a lot of the other pseudo science crap that people spout after reading a half baked news story completely misreporting a scientific study. Ignore and move on.
My most intelligent (academic) child is like me and needs lots of sleep. His older brother also bright but has high functioning autism and doesn't sleep at all.

Tbf it is annoying when people smugly tell you how much their kids sleep when they know yours don't. I'd never say anything like she did but long term sleep deprivation can do funny things to people so I'd cut her some slack.

It's just something people say to parents of poor sleepers to try to make them feel better. My DS barely sleeps and I've heard it plenty, total nonsense of course but at least they're trying I guess!

DD was a very bad sleeper. At almost 7 years of age she still needs to show any signs of being the next Einstein or Messiah.
Stay calm and ignore the cunt. It's bollocks.

I do have some anecdotal evidence in my family to support this.

But anyhow, whether true or not (and I'd be surprised if that was actually true, tbh), she was really rude.

This has been trotted out for decades to severely sleep deprived mothers by health visitors.

My mum was told that the reason I only slept for 6 hours in 24 was because of my intelligence and that I'd probably sleep better when I went to school and was properly stimulated. I was six weeks old at the time!

My two will be bloody Einstein from their sleep history if it is true.

My mum told me that high needs babies are more intelligent. I'm pretty sure she said it as it was the only thing positive she could say about my nightmare dc1.

She's at school now and I'd say she is pretty average.

I've been in the shit sleep club for 19 months, and my DD is about average. Obviously in my mind she is a total genius, but she doesn't say that many words. Stupid thing for your friend to say, but then when you have a shit sleeper you'll look for silver lining anywhere :D

I've been in the shit sleep club for 19 months, and my DD is about average. Obviously in my mind she is a total genius, but she doesn't say that many words. Stupid thing for your friend to say, but then when you have a shit sleeper you'll look for silver lining anywhere :D

Load of bollocks. She's just trying to make herself feel better by putting you down. If the kid had reflux she'd pull a fact out of her arse about reflux kids being great sportspeople or something.

Anyway, a decent night's sleep is linked with better behaviour and all the rest of it, because y'know, we're humans, we sleep. Sleep = good. Once her kid starts sleeping through she'll bang on about the benefits of a good night's sleep, probably with a quick dig in about your kid on the side.

Next time she says something like that just laugh. Then say 'oh sorry, I thought you were joking, as no one can say that seriously'

Its bullcrap.
My eldest son was a brilliant sleeper from 4 months, slow to speak, limited vocab at 2. However, he's now a Dr of astrophysics, so I'm not worried.

Hv told me something along these lines when 24yr old never ever slept I think she was trying to give me a positive to the torture of not sleeping .op don't worry about the friend has had no sleep for years she has to saying something to make her sleep deprivation make some sense

I have not had a full nights sleep in 8 years, think my kids must be geniuses! Unlike me

It is a myth that is said to mums of poor sleepers as it may be the only thing/thought that keeps them going through those long, long, long nights.
...... Or is that just me? [😊]

My DS didn't sleep though until he was 5, but the thought that he was going to be genius when older, helped. As it turns out,, gorgeous and lovely as he is, a genius he isn't, but now at least he sleeps....

5yo DS is and always has been a shit sleeper. He's bright enough, but I doubt he's MENSA material. 3yo DS has always slept well, and is possibly bordering on evil genius!

It's something people have told me, I suspect, to make me feel better about the serious lack of sleep we've had the last 5 years. I agree with a pp comment regarding lack of sleep being an intelligence sapper - I'm definitely more dim since having DS1!

If she says it again tell her Margaret Thatcher apparently only needed 4 hours sleep a night and see what she makes of that!

I had a lot of conversations when dd was little that went a bit like this:

Other parent: how are you doing badgers, you look tired
Me: I am, DD was awake every half hour again last night. I am exhausted
Other parent:. Really my dearest angel has slept 12 hours every night since she was born. I am sooooo lucky. Being a parent is so great don't you think?

Maybe she is just hoping that now you will stop telling her all about all the lovely sleep she is missing out on. Take the hint and next time try just nodding and looking sympathetic.

In my very limited experience I've had one great sleeper who was quite behind in speech and other developmental milestones but does seem to be considered pretty bright now (he's only four) and a one year old who has never slept more than three hours in his life but is ridiculously clever and can do stuff that seems very very early. So anecdotally she could be right but scientifically I suspect she's taking nonsense

Load of absolute shit.

Intelligence is a matter of nature and nurture. Two parents who are as dumb as a box of rocks are unlikely to have an intelligent child, whether the child sleeps well or not.

Totally agree with BigBadgers as I've had that experience more times than I can count!

Yes, it's what us sleep deprived parents tell ourselves to make us feel better through our constant exhaustion. You may have thought she sounded smug, but on the flip side we often have to deal with smug parents of good sleepers!

No one seriously believes it anyway!

I forgot to add that my shit sleeper and great sleeper hit many milestones at the same age. The good sleeper was a great talker from an early age though, but his behaviour is significantly worse than his badly sleeping brother!

I think OP is the her sleep deprivation talking ....or rather making her less tactful than she might otherwise have been...forced lack of sleep does that.
I generally don't need much sleep but DD1 was a bad sleeper (bright but not a genius) and that forced long term sleep deprivation nearly pushed me over the edge ...
Thinking about - a thread might turn up from her saying someone was smugly telling her what a good sleeper their DC was -so they told them that to stop them boasting