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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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MIL and being obese

988 replies

YellowBlinds · 17/01/2017 14:59

DH and I made the mistake move to be closer to his parents 3 years ago. FIL is fine, very quiet and reserved, but DH's Mum is your traditional Mumsnet MIL.

Since moving closer, DH and I have been very much at her beck and call - which at first I was more than happy to help (we moved closer to be more helpful and see each other more) however it slowly grew into taking the piss. She frequently invites herself around during the week when DH is at work (I work from home) and will actually let herself in with the spare key, often giving me the fright of my life when I come downstairs and find her rifling through the kitchen cupboards. Despite being able to drive and having a car, she will ask me to drive her to the supermarket/shops/cinema etc - whilst I'm at work.
I could go on but hopefully you get the idea! (don't want to drip feed).

So here's the problem;

She's a very large lady, clinically obese, so much so that it is causing her significant strain on her knees and ankles.
She claims that her weight is due to a medical problem however having been to the doctors with her on several occasions, I've been present when the GP has outright said (after blood tests etc) that there is no underlying health issue, she simply needs to change her lifestyle.

Her ankles are causing her a lot of pain, and I do have sympathy for that, but she is now insisting that she cannot drive or go anywhere unaccompanied and that because I am "at home all day" I should chauffeur her around.

When I have told her I can't do this regularly, she has become hysterical and cried that I'm refusing to support her and discriminating against her medical condition.

She absolutely will not help herself, and has said some really vile things about the doctor, and is telling everyone she has a gland problem - and then goes home and eats an exceptional amount of food pilfered from my kitchen.
She takes great delight, however, in telling me that I'm really fat (I'm not, at least I don't think I am).

AIBU in refusing to ferry her around and not supporting her with her "medical problem"?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
OliviaStabler · 18/01/2017 11:54

I truly hope you have not let her in OP

diddl · 18/01/2017 11:58

If she really has locked herself out well then it's rather unfortunate that she faked a heart attack & called Op a bitch yesterday, isn't it?

Well, the neighbour can text Op & Op can pass a key out if she has one.

If not, what is Op supposed to so?

Let MIL in until FIL gets back from work?

Well, see first point above!

Soubriquet · 18/01/2017 11:58

Oh I have Worra

Didn't even know I was pregnant!

Here's my bundle of joy Grin

MIL and being obese
Chippednailvarnishing · 18/01/2017 12:00

Damn it, I've got an essay to write, but this is much more interesting sorry OP

LaContessaDiPlump · 18/01/2017 12:02

Congratulations Soubriquet on your wonderfully hirsute baby Grin

Goldenhandshake · 18/01/2017 12:03

I have a friend who was in a similar situation with her MIL (well they weren't even actually married). All fine and seemingly normal until they moved in together, buying a house on the MIL's street because MIL knew the previous owner very well and helped negotiate a decent price as it needed a complete overhaul.

She soon turned into a complete nightmare, it got to the point where my friend would be walking down the street returning from work and MIL would be shouting abuse from her kitchen window. Needless to say, they have now moved, friend is NC with her MIL.

OP, moving will be your only answer, she will not scale back from being this monster, never permanently anyway.

diddl · 18/01/2017 12:06

Your cat is gorgeous, Soubriquet

Fabulous whiskers!

frumpet · 18/01/2017 12:08

Love the calico cat !

TheWanderingUterus · 18/01/2017 12:10

I have a very similar MIL, dramatic, self-obsessed, unpredictable and yes, obese too. If I had posted about her on MN last time she visted then no doubt I would have had a similar thread.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 18/01/2017 12:14

The suspense is killing me, PLEEEEEASE update us, OP!

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 18/01/2017 12:15

Actually, I'm now a bit worried - what if the MIL has somehow managed to gain entry and has patioed YellowBlinds? Shock

WorraLiberty · 18/01/2017 12:16

And now we've all seen Soubriquet's pussy, this thread is complete! Grin

Soubriquet · 18/01/2017 12:17

And now we've all seen Soubriquet's pussy, this thread is complete

ShockGrin

How's it going OP?

Questioningeverything · 18/01/2017 12:19

Op come back without you I have to care for my kids! Like actually watch them instead of mumsnet! 😩

mmgirish · 18/01/2017 12:24

Come back OP!

YellowBlinds · 18/01/2017 12:27

Hi, I'm sorry I've been at neighbours house.
I haven't read the replies yet, I can see that there are a lot. I'll try and write everything that's happened and then read everything.

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 18/01/2017 12:29

Hope you're ok Flowers

qwertyuiopasdfghjkl · 18/01/2017 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

xStefx · 18/01/2017 12:30

YAY op is back

MrsArthurShappey · 18/01/2017 12:32

*gets popcorn

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 18/01/2017 12:34

I can summarise, OP, no need to read the replies!

The first few said "DON'T LET HER IN!"

The next 58 said "What's going on now????"

There, done.

YellowBlinds · 18/01/2017 12:35

So neighbour read the thread and decided to help out. She came out to see what was wrong with MIL, was told I was "punishing" her because she was poorly.
Neighbour said shed spoken to me this morning and she knew I was on the phone all day, so I probably couldnt hear her. She walked MIL back home where MIL found her keys Hmm when neighbour said "I thought I heard you saying you were locked out" MIL replied that "locked out of Yellow's house because she is cruel"
She kept on banging on about how I hated her, and was trying to steal her son away and how I'd stolen her key. She went on a whole rant apparently.
Neighbour just smiled and nodded and when MIL was safely in her house she immediately went home to message me to come over.
So I sprinted over (hoping MIL wouldn't see me!) And we had a cup of tea and a bit of a laugh about it. FIL called back whilst I was there but was no use. Neighbours Mum is friends with MIL so I'll hopefully hear if word of my cruelty is getting around.
I'm back home now, and MIL either didn't see me out of the house or has given up as I've heard nothing more yet.

OP posts:
BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 18/01/2017 12:35

Bashing F5 like a sealion.

Soubriquet · 18/01/2017 12:37

Hah! So she did lie about being shut out.

Just not her own house but yours

Aren't you glad you didn't go out and see to her?

chitofftheshovel · 18/01/2017 12:37

My word, she sounds batshit.