'Don't you have a boyfriend or husband who can look at that?'

[buzzmoon]

boiler issues, and speaking to a plumber who says the above.

Sorry just because I have a vagina that makes me incapable of doing it myself?

AIBU, or should I have said F you!

My cousin is my plumber/heating engineer. He has a grown up daughter and very capable wifew and is too intelligent to ever talk down to a woman. In fact when he came here to explain the new vent he was putting in for the boiler he told me all the technical details of what he was doing, because although I'm not an engineer I'm perfectly capable of becoming one should I choose too and my dad (who was an engineer) make sure I didn't enter adult life willfully ignorant of how things work.
I did get a quote ftom another company. But they lost the job after the salesman spoke to me like an idiot and used the term " like the little puffer trains" when mansplaining how the vent worked. I asked him if he spoke to everyone like that or if it was just women he chose to patronise.

Really annoying...and obviously didn't want your custom!

Test driving a car, arrived back at the dealership. Pulled up by the space we had vacated, and I asked if I should reverse in?

Salesman says, "well, if you can manage it..."!

Didn't buy the car...

Men and woman have different interests (sometimes) and people assume that men are more capable of fixing things as it tended to be a hobby when they were younger.
When I was 18 I told a woman to 'ask her husband to look at it'. It was a console as I worked in a games shop. The woman absolutely hit the roof and shouted at my manager. Looking back I can I probably shouldn't have said it although I don't think it's a reason to be offended.

Lallypop It's definitely a reason to get offended. These kinds of comments feed into the sexist stereotpe that women are just empty airheads who can't do anything and need a man to do it.

As a man with extensive specialist knowledge in one field, I specifically sought a female gas engineer to service our boiler. One, to support a female in a male dominated field, two, because I felt that it would be a less daunting experience. I'm not a shrinking violet, but found myself more comfortable being talked to, rather than at.

Was repeatedly asked whether my husband would be driving round to pick up the lino I'd just bought. (It was only a 3m x 3m offcut).
Even when I pointed out that you could literally see my house from shop, the salesmen did not get it.
All 3 of them stood in the window and watched me carry it home, looking on in disbelief.

And when I got home, I cracked open a beer and laid the lino too!

I had my car serviced and needed two new tyres. The guy at the garage gave me some options; I confirmed which ones I wanted. He suggested I call my husband to check. Excuse me? "Just check your husband's OK with the amount you're paying".

I'm not married, and it's MY car which I bought and pay everything for. I left feeling sorry for his wife.

buzzmoon
I thought cookers had to be properly wired in by an electrician. My new one did, and I needed a Minor Works Certificate too!

......it's definitely a reason to get offended....
Too many women get their knickers in a twist about this type of low level sexism, which seems silly and pointless to me. Plenty of intelligent, competent women know v little about boilers (also plenty of men) and workmen are inclined to assume this - it goes with the territory. So what? If they're being sexist without meaning to cause offence, let it go. If they're w*ers who do mean to cause offence - let it go. There's a lot worse injustices in the world.

The most sexist comment that I ever received as a single mum and someone who does their own DIY was from the lady on the till in Argos who when I bought myself a new drill asked whether I would like insurance "in case he dropped it".

Maybe he was fishing to see if there was a man in your life!??

when an old reversed in to my stationary car he said have i hurt your car , bit of t cut should do it . it cost

when a man came to collect my car off my drive to repair it after a man reversed into my stationary car,he said what did i hit.then when he tried to start it,it would not start he said there is petrol in it love isnt there.crrrrrr.i had to wait for breakdown truck for an hour to tow me to my garage i got car from, for it to start first time .he had give it so much welly he had actually flooded my engine,i phoned his boss up and he promised he would not let the bloke live it down they were going to tease him loads.

Dont those people who say dont be offended if a plumber assumes people dont know anything about plumbing for example get that the point was the plumber assumed that a woman wouldnt know anything about plumbing but that a man automatically would. Thats not low level sexism its full on completely sexist and attitudes like that contribute towards the kind of sexism that impacts us even more.

"Low level" sexism is STILL sexism STILL unacceptable and STILL needs challenging if we're to have any hope of getting rid of worse sexism!

As I said in my post up thread it contributes to an overall attitude to women that's outdated, offensive, damaging and potentially actually dangerous.

Yes, us silly airheaded little women "getting our knickers in a twist" over a stoopid little thing like sexism, when we should be worrying about whether hubby's pot roast is done and if his slippers are waiting in front of the fire.

One of my first introductions to Aussie "tradies" was before I'd actually emigrated there - we were checking out the house (which had been let to tenants previously) while over there on holiday, and getting it decorated for when we eventually did emigrate.
He was a painter - he called me "dear" (big mistake) and the proceeded to ignore me and talk exclusively to DH, who knew very little about decorating, not even about undercoating/sealing etc. I was the one who knew what I wanted, what needed doing etc., but he dismissed me as a "little woman who would need to be taken shopping". I felt VERY sorry for his wife.

He didn't get the job, patronising wanker.

Sorry, pressed post too soon - I have to say, though, that all the tradies I've met since that one have been absolutely fine with me!

When we got a new boiler the plumber showed me how to work it before leaving. I asked him how to top up the radiators as we sometimes have to replace one (they will all need replacing really, they are old and starting to leak).

And he said "why, does your husband know what he's doing?" I said that he does, but it would be me replacing the radiators, and I had just replaced one that week before the new boiler was fitted.
He just said sheepishly "Ok, whatever you like"

Idiot! It's actually a slur on your partner too. Not all men are good at fixing stuff. My hubby is an accountant. He makes a good bonfire but I fix the leaks and fill up the boiler etc! He's a fab cook though and makes lovely dinners. I can cook but it's nice to be looked after in that way. I can hire a plumber/carpenter/mechanic etc if I need one. TBH electronics these dats are so complex I won't go near them.

I've just rebuilt my house (well not me personally, we hired builders) so I've spent 2 years on a male dominated building site. Our builder initially mostly asked DH about plans despite DH referring him to me a lot of the time. Our builder then learned cleverly to ask me and if he didn't like my answer to then ask DH (it's like raising kids I swear!). Many trades people seem to find it hard to relate to a woman on a site and I think they spend so much time together that they just are very blokey yet I knew more about some stuff than DH. All in all my builder was great once I learned how to manage him and they weren't openly sexist. I spent enormous amounts of time discussing politics with them. I embraced my feminity though and found that we worked well as a team bringing different aspects to the project. However I responded to anything I felt to be sexist with a humourous reprimand which they could take and I found they listened to and changed their language. I'd say things like "I didn't actually just hear you say Xxx did I? You do know woman can vote now". Mostly I found people to be incompetent and unable to see beyond the end of their nose but that's a whole different whinge.

Eliza
I do get it, just think making a big deal about small issues doesn't solve much. Don't women assume that men aren't as capable as we are at some things because they're men? Clearly they do. That's also sexism.

rockcake the small issues are the thin end of the wedge. Just because there are bigger issues doesn't mean the small issues should be ignored. They all come from the same place.

Yep! My OH is useless at DIY! Can make a fabulous roast dinner but doesn't know the difference between a Phillips/flat head screwdriver!!

pinkyred
I disagree that all issues come from the same place; some sexism is deliberate and designed to be insulting, but in the case of an elderly plumber, say, who, without wishing to cause offence, assumes women know less about boilers than most men - which certainly would have been the case not so long ago - is it worth getting upset about? I don't think so. That's all I'm saying.