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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

'Don't you have a boyfriend or husband who can look at that?'

231 replies

buzzmoon · 17/01/2017 08:58

Angry boiler issues, and speaking to a plumber who says the above.

Sorry just because I have a vagina that makes me incapable of doing it myself?

AIBU, or should I have said F you!

OP posts:
amispartacus · 17/01/2017 11:02

I think you're being oversensitive, but that just my opinion

Ticks off bingo word there when people mention sexism on MN.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 17/01/2017 11:03

When I was at uni I lived in a shared house (mixed gender 2 men, 3 women) and there was an issue with the electrics so called the landlord. One of my female housemates waited in to let him and electrician in. She was studying for her masters degree in mechanical engineering at the time. The landlord asked if one of the boys were in so he could explain it to them. She replied with no but you can explain it to me. He just wringed his hands, sighed and explained to her....how to use a lightswitch. I shit you not.

SmellySphinx · 17/01/2017 11:04

I'd be tempted to say "I'd have asked my girlfriend but she's working. Why? Can't YOU do it, that's what I'm paying you for isn't it?"

SmellySphinx · 17/01/2017 11:04

I'd be tempted to say "I'd have asked my girlfriend but she's working. Why? Can't YOU do it, that's what I'm paying you for isn't it?"

BarbaraofSeville · 17/01/2017 11:05

If all men and not just those with the correct qualifications and training could 'look at' boilers with a view to making them work properly again, your lovely plumber from the dark ages would be out of a job.

schmack · 17/01/2017 11:05

don't enjoy him and give him your money is the answer to this kind of bullshit.

schmack · 17/01/2017 11:06

or indeed EMPLOY him!!!!!!

amispartacus · 17/01/2017 11:08

He just wringed his hands, sighed and explained to her....how to use a lightswitch

That would have been such a temptation to go into a lot of detail about the current, resistance, voltage drops, fuses and even more detail than the person explaining to her probably knew.

Just to see the look on their face when a woman knows more than them about something Grin

Crowdblundering · 17/01/2017 11:09

When I was single I would openly flirt with any man I summoned to the house to mend anything. Amazing what extra little bits and bobs they would fix with a bit of flattery and eye lash fluttering.

Not very women's lib but if they are stupid enough to fall for it.

WorraLiberty · 17/01/2017 11:09

First was an electrician who said my boyf/husband could change the plug on my cooker for me. i was so shocked that he even said it i didn't know what to say, just very promptly asked him to leave!

I'm curious to know how that played out.

Surely he asked why you suddenly asked him to leave? Confused

Mrsbird311 · 17/01/2017 11:15

Workmen often ask that, I always assumed it was to find out if I had a boyfriend or partner!!!!

Femski · 17/01/2017 11:16

Just a bit of honest common sense advice usually found in hands on working class tradesman.. Sounds like he was trying to be helpful as there are a lot of husbands out there who are a little more suited to doing minor stuff like that .. Just the common reality I'm afraid and those taking offence need to grow up..

SausageFarmer · 17/01/2017 11:17

You must look what they deem as meak or something.

Tell them to gtfo.

Gas bottle guy tried it with me, I told him DP was useless with it, that's why I was doing it.

BeccaAnn · 17/01/2017 11:23

put the comment on something like check a trade for others to see.
I've had to kick builders off my mums site for trying to break ground without scanning for safety (turns out gas main was right next to where they started). their boss turns up raging asking why and what authority do I have etc etc. so I posted on check a trade and very soon all kinds of crap and bad attitude was coming out of the woodwork.

hit them in the pocket, its just about the only thing they understand.

Mollyringworm · 17/01/2017 11:23

When I was single I would openly flirt with any man I summoned to the house to mend anything. Amazing what extra little bits and bobs they would fix with a bit of flattery and eye lash fluttering

Did u also throw in some carry-on-esque innuendoes? Like, ask them to
unclog ur your pipes and check your ball-cock?!

MardAsSnails · 17/01/2017 11:26

I once got 'why do you work? Does your husband not earn enough for you to stay at home?' from a delivery man. I'd arranged delivery for between 1 and 2, when I worked 5 mins from the office. That phone call was at around 9am when the driver turned up and found me not at home.

Fuck you, mr delivery twat. Fuck you hard with a pineapple.

aginghippy · 17/01/2017 11:27

those taking offence need to grow up..

Why do the women need to grow up? Rather than the 'working class tradesman'?

I have a plumber coming round later today, who has done work for us before. He does a good job, charges a fair price and treats me with respect. There are good people out there. Even working class ones Hmm

schmack · 17/01/2017 11:27

femski - please tell me you're being sarcastic. some women live alone you know, some live with other women, some live with men who work away a lot or, as in my case are completely useless at anything practical!

just don't employ them and give bad feedback - only way to deal with this everyday sexism which really should have died out by now!

BiddyPop · 17/01/2017 11:28

I went through a phase, while using DM's car a lot, of having to change flat tyres (she really needed a full new set!). DM was home all day, had 3 teens looking to use it regularly, school and activity runs, shopping etc to do, while living outside a village - so the car was quite vital! DF was out at work 12hrs+ per day, so it really was best if one of us teens sorted it (DM has a bad back) - and it was more often than not left to me as the eldest.

I have changed tyres on Christmas Eve one year in the pitch black, pouring rain on a dual carriageway - 2 guys stopped to help as I just lifted the fresh one onto the wheel, so in fairness they did do the nuts back up for me, but I think they were surprised to find I had it jacked up, nuts released and the old one off, new one out ready to go on, when they stopped. And a LOT of traffic passed me in those 15 minutes or so!! (I was on the way to see DFiance at the time, as both family dynamics were such we wouldn't see each other until 26th/27th again).

I also get mechanics, as I often drop off the cars for service, asking what's wrong and being surprised that I know, and that I know when the oil was last checked (as I do my own) or tyre pressures checked (I also do my own) etc. DH does do his as well, but less frequently.

He also is surprised to realise all the mechanical type maintenance things I get up to quietly - like checking/cleaning filters, emptying gutters, testing smoke alarm batteries, unblocking sewers, ...as problems arise. I think I got used to being "the man of the house" when he was away for 2 weeks in every 4 for over 4 years and things would not wait until he got home again.

Blossomdeary · 17/01/2017 11:34

I know this scenario. I always put the cars in my name when I buy a new one as OH had PD and, although he now has a licence (after losing it because of the meds he was on) He does not like to drive as he feels insecure. So I do all the driving. It seems to make sense for the car to be bought and registered in the driver's name. There is always a slight atmosphere when I do this (as OH is there to make the choice of car) - the sales man automatically turns to OH when starting to fill in the forms.

The same happens in other situations - we have recently moved house and I got strange looks from the estate agent and solicitor when |I did everything. They did get the idea that they needed to communicate with me after a while, but somehow I felt like a bossy cow! There is no way that my OH could have done it all.

Blossomdeary · 17/01/2017 11:34

"has" not "had" - how I wish it was the former!

amispartacus · 17/01/2017 11:35

Just a bit of honest common sense advice usually found in hands on working class tradesman

The Farage excuse.

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/nigel-farage/11303133/Nigel-Farage-defends-use-of-word-chinky.html

ButteredToastAndStrawberryJam · 17/01/2017 11:38

Bloody meat head idiot.
Had a fridge delivery once, small dent in door, the delivery guy offered a replacement or £50 off, so, me thinking about it for a couple of seconds, prompted him to say, "do you want to ask you husband first".

ButteredToastAndStrawberryJam · 17/01/2017 11:41

btw, I took the £50 and stuck a fridge magnet over it.

leonardthelemming · 17/01/2017 11:42

The man at the washing machine repair shop nearly had a fit when DW told him she had downloaded the service manual, taken the machine to pieces, and was able to quote the stock number for the part she required.

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