'Don't you have a boyfriend or husband who can look at that?'

[buzzmoon]

boiler issues, and speaking to a plumber who says the above.

Sorry just because I have a vagina that makes me incapable of doing it myself?

AIBU, or should I have said F you!

To perk things up, my five year old DD asked me if men could be scientists too. Some of them I said. She was assembling a kids circuit board at the time.

An electrician once apologised for the mess and said my husband would have to do some decorating. I laughed and said that was my job and he got really angry and shouted that I was doing a man out of a paid job.

My landlord wont employ workmen if they have that attitude. They just come in and do the job without any stupid or snarky comments, so it is possible for men to be professional. Even if they are working class

Even if they are working class

I really hope that's a joke. Otherwise it's pretty offensive.

Yes Saor I was being ironic. That's what I meant by the face. Sorry if that didn't come across.

I thought the poster I was responding to was implying that being working class means being sexist. Which is nonsense, of course.

SaorAlbaGuBrath It was a comment made by another poster. Because apparently being rude a to your customer is something 'working class tradesmen' do,

SaorAlbaGuBrath Here, page 2;

Femski Tue 17-Jan-17 11:16:02
Just a bit of honest common sense advice usually found in hands on working class tradesman.. Sounds like he was trying to be helpful as there are a lot of husbands out there who are a little more suited to doing minor stuff like that .. Just the common reality I'm afraid and those taking offence need to grow up..

DW is one of those who think the ability to change a fuse, fix a leaky tap, use a screwdriver, hang wallpaper or (in one memorable instance) change a lightbulb are inherited qualities specific to gender.

One of my "friends" (school gate mom) posted on FB last week "Does anyone have a husband or partner that's a plumber? I need some things looking at!"

If this is what women are thinking, what hope is there?

Saor

The eye roll comment I imaging was referring to a post up thread and not at all intended in the way you've taken it.

We went to look for a new sofa in SCS last week - the salesman was telling us about fibre and foam filled cushions. DH preferred the feel of the fibre filled ones and the salesman said to me 'he might prefer them but as you're a woman you'll hate them - you'll spend your whole life plumping them'. Needless to say we won't be getting a sofa from there.

A number of years ago we moved from a 'normal' house into quite a big 'flash' house in the country. My husband is younger than me and also quite young looking. When the removal men turned up at the new house, one of them turned round to my husband and said 'Wow, what do you do for a job?', I cut in with 'we are both Project Managers'. We both work full time, doing the same job, earning the same money (depending on contracts) but he's always the one everyone thinks is doing well for himself!! Fuck that, grrr!!

ooh, mutebuttonison where d'ya get that kids circuit board from? I need one for my 5yo dd - the older three are currently in training to become a plumber, brickie and carpenter/mechanic so I am still in need of one minion child to take the role of personal sparkie. My hope is that in a few years there will be no need to employ tradespeople at all.
(serious though, that sounds like something she would enjoy!)

A few tiles came away from the wall around the shower, so took a trip to a DIY store:

Me (to man behind counter): What do I need to fix a few tiles to the wall?
Man behind counter: A husband.

Oh, how we laughed.

DH is the least practical one in this house. He does usually do the stuff like changing lightbulbs, but not because we see it as gender specific. It is because he is tall and can reach, whereas I am short and have to climb up to it.

I can change plugs though and he has no idea of the colour coding of the wires.

Neither of us would tackle major electrical work or gas appliances.

Slightly off topic but just wanted to make people aware, heating engineers need to be GasSafe registered, Corgi is no longer the regulating body.

DH is a plumber/ heating engineer (and it wasn't him who made the original 'husband'comment!) 😄😄

Working in a real ale pub years ago a guy came back to the bar because he thought his pint was off. 'You might want to get the landlord to taste this and see what he thinks. Sh!t, that was really sexist, wasn't it?'
Erm, yep!

I'd have told him you were too busy cooking your husband's dinner to trouble him with questions, whilst twirling a lock of hair around your finger.
😂😂😂

Thanks all, my fault for not RTFT properly. Lesson learned.

Fuck you, mr delivery twat. Fuck you hard with a pineapple.

Oliversmummy A few places do what you experienced. They do it so you can't say you want to go away and discuss with your partner as that is something a lot of people say when they want to think it over

But I don't have a partner in business. I am the one they need to deal with. I cant be arsing around trying to get a guy to stand by me and look interested whilst they measure up windows.

I bet no male builder is asked to provide a woman to stand by him and nod appreciately

You should have seen the guys face when I went to get my big white van.

I had a garage quote me for a part and fitting. £300
My dad rang the next day for a quote. £120
Never used them since

*That would have been such a temptation to go into a lot of detail about the current, resistance, voltage drops, fuses and even more detail than the person explaining to her probably knew.

Just to see the look on their face when a woman knows more than them about something*

I did that in PC World. I went in to ask if they had a particular PC I wanted in stock. They didn't, so I went to leave and the pushy salesman starts trying to take me around different models, more expensive, don't meet my needs etc. Wouldn't let me get a word in edgeways.

Finally I got to speak and said quite firmly I had only wanted to know if they had stock and if not, which local store did. He tried to say again I didn't want that one because xyz. Fed up of being mansplained to I turned around and said

"Right, well I have a BSc in computer science and work in IT. I want the model I want because I prefer the brand of processor, they are true to speed, reliable and generally last longer than Intel, the motherboard also has capacity to hold a higher speed processor should I want to switch it out and also has slots for extra RAM, which none of these models you have shown me have. Honestly, if I had the time I could build a PC that met my specifications, but the model I'm looking for does and I prefer to pay for the convenience of walking out of a store with it already built. Now, will you please check whether any stores have stock?"

His face was an absolute picture. He went from cocky to admitting he was "just a sales guy" and I knew way more than him. Not wanting to be a total ogre I told him I'd actually had my first job at PC world so I knew the pressure to sell, but they really didn't have what I wanted.

Then I got the PC at anther store and had to get firm with them when they wanted to set it all up "for me" and didn't take my first few polite declinations seriously, then asked if my DF, who was with me, would do it for me? DF laughed and said "No she sets my PCs up for me!" (I don't, he's an electrical engineer, but he likes to big up that I'm a woman in IT)

For those looking at kids electronics, check out snap circuits. My DS loves them and it's making him a bit of a whizz at his current ks2 electronics topic and the girls keep asking him for help .

Fucking bold fail!!! WHY!!!

"Workmen often ask that, I always assumed it was to find out if I had a boyfriend or partner!!!!"

That'd be worse than casual sexism! Creepy!

Those saying op over reacted etc do you not understand how smaller incidents of casual sexism lead to worse up to and including rape culture? Particularly worrying when as a lone woman you have an unknown man coming into your home, especially one who's likely to be strong and fit and easily able to overpower you! If that's their attitude to women when they're being 'friendly' and 'nice' that's worrying and should be.

Also agree I'd be dubious about his qualifications.

AND men who behave like this are likely to do themselves out of business especially repeat business and nothing spreads faster than a negative review!

"hit them in the pocket, its just about the only thing they understand" absolutely!

"Why do the women need to grow up? Rather than the 'working class tradesman'?" Seconding this too!

I've several friends and family who are tradespeople and they wouldn't dream of behaving like this!

My most outrageous experience of this kind was when still with my ex whenever we bought a car the salesmen would try and answer the questions I'd asked by speaking to him! He'd tell them you need to tell graph " I know nothing about cars! " - he didn't even drive for the first one!

"as there are a lot of husbands out there who are a little more suited to doing minor stuff like that" good bit of internalised misogyny there too - as proven on this thread it's equally likely to be the wife/female partner who is 'a little more suited' to whatever task.

My ex was useless at anything practical couldn't hang a picture!

I however was capable of entirely setting up the house I moved into after we split which was basically bare bones, that included decorating (including plasterwork), light fittings, rewiring a couple of broken sockets, fitting curtain poles, re-fitting the back door which was poorly hung (by a supposed professional ) and wasn't shutting properly, fitting carpets and other flooring, plumbing in the washing machine etc etc ex wouldn't have had a bloody clue! My sisters the same - she had to explain to her equally impractical ex (we sure pick em!) how a garden strimmer works (when the line broke he thought the whole thing needed replaced, didn't know the line was replaceable )

As for those posters saying they play up to such nonsense

1 I'd be bloody ashamed if I ever did anything like that especially as a mother to a dd

2 do you not consider it makes men like this worse? Potentially contributing to sexual predators thinking 'all single mums are up for it'?

Oh meant to include I also had a female electrician round recently we were chatting about this and she said she has actually had comments like 'where's the real electrician?' So not just the tradespeople being sexist but also their (potentially NOT working class - as if that's an excuse!) employers!

I asked her what she did in those cases - she said they can't make her do the work and on occasions where she's actually felt unsafe she's just left. She did remind me this is a very small town with very few tradespeople, so those particular customers possibly find it hard to get an appointment in the future

I must give off vibes as this has never happened to me! Admittedly our go to gas man is also our next door neighbour, but when I was buying our last three cars it didnt happen either. I have to admit to being slightly disappointed that I couldnt get all righteously indignated!

The last one in particular the sales man asked who would be driving the car and then spoke almost exclusively to me apart from keeping DH involved in a polite way. Maybe lessons are being learned in the car sales market at least.