AIBU to not provide food at a birthday party?!

[WobbleYourHead]

DS is going to be 9 next birthday. He wants a skate party at our local roller rink. The party will be 6:15pm until 7:45pm on a Sunday night (they're fixed times for parties and this is the slot available on the date we want).
We have a limited budget and without food he could invite his whole class, friends from cubs, football etc. If we cater the party then it'd drastically limit numbers.
We plan to provide drinks for the kids and there's a cafe on site that will be open if parents want to stay.
WIBU to allow him to invite all the friends he wants and skip the catering?!

Ease up soupdragon.
Chill, fgs.
It was only in jest. And only if they came to complain that you were giving a child a bottle of water. Totally hypothetical. I haven't actually done this.
Just sometimes these staff in these places, when I've been to other people's parties, are a bit jobs worth about not bringing anything of your own in.

A stare. Intimidating.

Or. I'll give them a stare. And seeing as I'm smaller than most 12 year olds, I'm sure that wont be as bad.

Or is giving someone a stare, criminal these days?

Ok soupdragon?

I think it sounds very entitled to expect food at a party, just make it very clear on invites "to enable us to invite whole class we won't be providing food, I hope you understand" or something along lines that you've made difficult decision to forego good to enable you to include everyone (as parent of asd child who would be cut instantly from any reduce list I'd be thrilled you'd decide to be inclusive) those that don't understand can find something else to do for evening - sound like fab party idea (fwiw we took our 3 ds's, 7,9 and 10 to roller disco over xmas and they coped with light dinner before hand, 1.5hrs skating and supper when home... you're not being unreasonable)

I think it's fine not to have food! It's only 1.5 hours!! Even if they have dinner slightly earlier than normal at home then they can eat the cake when they get home and a snack which I'd personally be happy to provide myself! They'll be having so much fun they won't want to eat anyway! Lucky kids being able to go skating!! The parents should be happy you're doing that! Such high expectation nowadays 🙄 Xx

Yes I do have to older dc , when they were 8/9 they were in bed at 7.30 on a school night. By the time the kids get home and into bed it's going to be at least 8.30.
My 12 year old is still in bed at 8.15.

Oblamov it has to be said I reacted to your post the same way as Soup, perhaps it didn't quite come across how you meant it.

Re the "jobsworth" comment. These people are just following their employers rules. If they don't they will lose their jobs (which will be of more significance to them than your DC's party). Their employers are just trying to run a successful business.

When booking a party of this sort not bringing in your own food is part of the contract you agree to. If you aren't happy with that, book your party elsewhere.

I think its fine to not do good, as long as you make it really clear on the invites I always find food at parties the awkward bit anyway as it's often at strange times!!!

My kids have been to several parties that have served drinks but no food, all held at a local soft play area. Very similar to your situation Wobble. Basically you rent out the whole place, after hours, and there's an upper limit of something like 100 kids. If you want food, you have to buy it on site.
I'd never been there before and I was really annoyed at the first one, as there was no mention of there being no food at the dinner time party. There was an onsite cafe type place, but they only took cash. Needless to say I had no cash on me. Oh, and there's no cash machine within easy distance.
So I had 2 ravenous, very ratty young kids at the end of it. Had to stop for take aways on the way home, bless them.
All the next ones mentioned on the invitations that there would be no food and that was fine.
I think that as long as you make it clear before hand, there shouldn't be an issue.

I would consider it perfectly reasonable so long as the invite made it clear there would be no food - even better if you included a comment like incy suggested: "in order for us to invite everyone ..."

I don't see the big deal abut kids going to bed later for an infrequent event like a party. I understand sometimes there's a bit of fallout but it seems a bit joyless to never deviate from the routine.

I agree re bringing in of food. If you're not allowed to bring in your own food (cake often being the exception) then you can't just bring in food! Surely the staff have to follow management rules oblamov?

YABU you should provide food at a party

I'd be annoyed if it was without warning. With warning, it depend on travel times - I don't drive, so with public transport on a Sunday night it might be up to two hours of travel time each way. Some kids are less flexible than others - my 7 year old would breeze through an earlier dinner and a late night, while my 10 year old would probably spend the evening and the following day in a state of misery. But those are things for their families to deal with rather than you. I would probably think that you were a bit inconsiderate to have that sort of party, but most people have time/money constraints of some sorts when arranging parties and you can't please everyone.

It's a bit tight.

Provide pitta bread and humus for the kids or crisps and candy. You do need to provide some for for the kids but nothing for the adult. I never provide food for the adult at my kid's birthday party!

Can I ask why everyone who is saying "You should provide food", why this is?

Ime of 20+ years of parties over 6 kids and I am sure quite a few years still to go, most of the sarnies get ignored in favour of maybe a sausage roll and a cup cake or a couple of biscuits and then they go back to the bouncy castle or whatever.

The only time a full meal has been eaten is when it is one of those nuggets and chips in a basket job, and that has taken more time to organise and get eaten than they have spent in soft play or whatever which seems like a massive waste of time and money.

Seems to me that the only people bothered about there being food are the parents! Also, at least around here, its common to feed the kids something before a party such as toast or cereal because you know that they wont actually eat much when they are there. The amount of food wasted at parties is awful, and as it seems its only provided to keep the parents happy, why bother?!

I would also rather feed them at home because then I know what they have had.

I have never known a kids party that doesn't offer some kind of catering = especially as you will be holding the party at what will be tea time for many.

I would have less kids and offer food

I have been to parties where they have provided drinks, crisps and sweets but no food. It really wasn't a problem, we were told beforehand so we could plan accordingly, have fun X

Providing food and drink is just good hosting skills.

Wanting to invit maximum guests rather than cater means the party is cheaper for the planner, the child gets more gifts and the participants get very little. I've never known a primary school party to not have food or party bags, it's very standard.

I wouldn't send my son.

I would just assume with that many children and no food it was a present grab rather than a decent party.

It is so so tight to try and have more people and spend less money.

I would assume that at 6.15 you'd provide food, we eat at around 6.30 i thought most people did and only give her very light for before. I'd be annoyed with no warning of no food.

We recently had an activity party - 5:45 - 7:15 and didn't provide food.

The snack bar cafe thing was open.

The world didn't end