To want to never go to the cinema again?

[rmrf]

Every. Single. Time. I go to the cinema, there's at least one person who talks/texts/crunches through the film and generally does their best to ruin it for everyone. I usually feel too hesitant to say anything as they've already proven themselves lunatics who care not for others.

Last night it was LA LA Land. Absolutely brilliant, gorgeous film, ruined by some tosser who decided to loudly tap his foot throughout every musical number. He wasn't even in time.

I love watching films but AIBU to not spend any more money on going out to see them, because no one knows how to behave politely? We have Netflix, Google and Amazon video I suppose...

I genuinely struggle with cinemas, restaurants and pubs because of other people. I recognise that this is my problem so I don't go anymore

I think there is a happy medium - agree you should try not to make a noise but also don't think it's reasonable when some people I've seen will shout and have a go at other customers who make the mistake of sneezing or who try to discreetly get up for the toilet just the once. Not considering they are actually being way more disruptive.

I'm with the op and I actually resent the implication from others that it's people with learning difficulties that are the ones causing all of the rustling and noise. Sure, some probably do but a lot of people are just inconsiderate twats - they exist!!

I genuinely struggle with cinemas, restaurants and pubs because of other people. I recognise that this is my problem so I don't go anymore

This is why I never go anywhere either.

I don't think it's odd. Saor posted earlier:

"You don't know conclusively that they know anything. That's the point many people are trying to make and you're just not understanding it."

So, rather than me being an intolerant twat (which I'm not sure I am, as I've repeated I never really say anything to anyone) - is it not possible I may just struggle with certain situations for underlying, undiagnosed reasons, too?

And if I do have difficulties without knowing about it (as suggested above) then how can it also be true that:

"only you know. If you can tolerate cinemas with specific aids (such as ear defenders, as my dc wear) or by going to specific screenings (such as my dcs do), then perhaps that's what you need to do"?

Alway always wait until last wk they are showing your chosen film - empty

Anonymous1112 - thank you!

I once asked a bloke behind me in the cinema who was talking non stop if he could keep it down. He told me to fuck off and then proceeded to tell his son who looked about 8yo that you "should never let anyone tell you what to do in life". I pity that kid and I pity his teachers even more.

Kodi all the way here. Just been watching La La Land in front of a roaring fire with only the dog snoring to annoy me. I know I'm immoral.

My child has severe difficulties with noise and there are lots of places he cannot go because of this but I would not expect someone who cannot help being noisy to leave.

So, rather than me being an intolerant twat (which I'm not sure I am, as I've repeated I never really say anything to anyone) - is it not possible I may just struggle with certain situations for underlying, undiagnosed reasons too?

It's entirely possible, which is why Ginger offered ways which might make it easier for you to go to the cinema without getting stressed. For the record, I never (and I don't think anyone else did either) called you an intolerant twat. That would be a personal attack and get me banned.

If you do have a disability, then - if you can - you should try to minimise distracting other people. I have mobility impairments and also due to my disability, need to use the toilet regularly. I cannot sit through an entire film. I sit somewhere that means an entire row doesn't have to stand up every time I come in and out. This really doesn't bother me at all. I wouldn't avoid going to the cinema because I need the toilet but I would consider about how I affect others.

If someone needs to fiddle with something in the cinema, I don't see why it has to be a phone, for example. Can they really not find something else? The other stuff; rusting sweet packets, eating popcorn and a bit of chatting doesn't bother me. I do get miffed by constant talking and repeated phone use.

If what Ginger is saying is true - then my previous post still stands:

"I don't know [if someone has a difficulty], true - but they do [know whether they do or not].

I think, because many able people attend the cinema, it's reasonable to conclude that of the occasions someone has behaved inappropriately, at least some (and I'd even suggest the majority) of those people are behaving that way because they are just rude and inconsiderate.

I have already pointed out in my first post that I don't say anything to people anyway. My point is, why do these people, who know they're being thoughtless and just don't care get to dominate the space?

I don't know, but could it not also be a problem for people with other types of difficulties? Do they not get annoyed too if a film is ruined for them by rude, thoughtless people? Particularly if, as suggested here, arranging a trip to the cinema is not as easy as it is for others and so is a relatively rare treat?

I think it used to be much quieter in the cinema years ago, a box of Paynes poppets on the way in and an ice cream in the interval.

The only problem being that you couldn't see the screen through all the fag smoke.

We went to the cinema last week. The people sitting next to us did the annoying thing of narrating the film: "Oh, that must be his brother. Where are they going now? Oh, no. I thought that would happen. Oh, now he's in Australia." Highly irritating.

At least no one checked their phone during the film. The repeated announcements before the film began may have had an effect.

Rustling has always been part of the package you accept when you go to the cinema though Anonymous - people have eaten at the cinema ever since there have been cinemas.

It depends what the noise is whether it is unreasonable to be making it.

If you can't accept a noise that is and always has been generally accepted at the cinema it is true that you have to find a niche, probably expensive, cinema that compensates for not being able to make profit on overpriced cinema food by charging more than usual for tickets, or investigate whether your usual cinema does any special showings that will meet your needs - whether your needs are the result of a diagnosed condition, an undiagnosed condition, or just grumpiness and the belief the world should revolve around you and your preferences.

I cannot stand certain noises, especially sniffing and whistling, butI don't get to ban them from public places on the off chance I may have an undiagnosed condition to explain why they make my blood pressure rise ... I have to find ways to cope with the high chance of a constant sniffer on quiet early morning public transport (headphones) or the whistler in a long queue in a public place etc.

Just throwing out that you might have some unspecified previously unthought of condition that explains why you find normal behaviour annoying doesn't in any way mean the world (including everyone else with both diagnosed and undiagnosed conditions) has to change to suit you at their expense.

rmrf Once a month we go to the autism friendly screening. As the cinema is a rare treat for my dcs, we try to go (unless it's a film they won't cope with). As it is the autism friendly screening, there are other people there with SNs/disabilities. Some of those people make noise and move around a lot, which can make my own dcs uncomfortable and stressed. We try to minimise the impact of that as much as possible, and I always remind them that just like their particular issues cause them to make noise and move around, others struggle with the same thing. As we hope others will be kind to us, we also make every effort to be kind and tolerant to their needs as well. It's called co-existing, rather than looking for reasons to be annoyed.

Others just threw out that awful people in the cinema may actually have undiagnosed conditions, and so I should adapt to suit them . . .

So off the back of that you've suddenly decided that you may have an undiagnosed condition and everybody else still needs to do what you want?

rmrf so basically you're saying that because they have SNs and still choose to go to the cinema, knowing they have SNs and may cause some minor disruption, they are then technically "uncaring" because they go to the cinema knowing they have SNs????

Please tell me that is NOT what you are ham handedly trying to say, because it is beyond rude and smacks of "look, you know you have SNs and may make noise, so if you dare to show your face in the cinema with your noisy SNs, you are deliberately being rude to the rest of us."

GingerIvy that is the opposite of what I was saying.

I was trying to make clear that I am only referring to people who KNOW they're being rude, and just don't care - of which there are probably many. I apologise if that was not clear.

I'm going to replace 'chomp, crunch, rustle' with 'whinge, moan, bitch'. You don't like people's behaviour in cinema, so don't go! I have PTSD and the loud volume sets off my anxiety, so I don't go to cinema. BFD. Why not petition yours for Special Snowflake Screenings? It seems like there's a lot of demand for it, surely, from the number of whingey threads like this .

. Sure, some probably do but a lot of people are just inconsiderate twats - they exist!!
Of course they do. Nobody has denied that, what we have done is asked that other possibilities be considered.

Others just threw out that awful people in the cinema may actually have undiagnosed conditions, and so I should adapt to suit them

See above.

Ginger my son goes to autism-friendly screenings, too .

Why on these threads does it always have to be those of us with disabilities or with family members with a disability defending our position rather than others saying, oh yes, see your point, hadn't considered that, will be more careful next time.
No, it's everyone else and we're the SN Brigade getting on our high horses.

You don't have to state it for it to be implicit in a posting.