To want to never go to the cinema again?

[rmrf]

Every. Single. Time. I go to the cinema, there's at least one person who talks/texts/crunches through the film and generally does their best to ruin it for everyone. I usually feel too hesitant to say anything as they've already proven themselves lunatics who care not for others.

Last night it was LA LA Land. Absolutely brilliant, gorgeous film, ruined by some tosser who decided to loudly tap his foot throughout every musical number. He wasn't even in time.

I love watching films but AIBU to not spend any more money on going out to see them, because no one knows how to behave politely? We have Netflix, Google and Amazon video I suppose...

I do the foot tapping sometimes without realising, but I will stop and make an effort not to start up again if someone just politely points it out to me.

My dcs, however, cannot physically stop themselves sometimes. You could ask, but there are no guarantees.

Hello - as I mentioned numerous times, I did not mention anything to the person tapping. I very, very rarely say anything - if I have done, it's been very polite and usually to rowdy groups of kids. I've certainly never called anyone a nasty fucker, like posters have on here.

Possibly I am undiagnosed, and hence unable to deal with certain situations and certain noises. Should I just not go to cinemas?

I tap my foot without realising, if it's pointed out I do my best to stop it. Like you Ginger my boys cannot control it, however, I'm getting good at not punching intolerant twats who make assumptions about my kids so it's still progress IMO

As far as the eating is concerned, with my dcs, it's a sensory thing. They're getting positive sensory feedback from the eating, so it helps them cope with the negative sensory stuff that is coming at them from the noise, the people, the movement. They like seeing a film at the cinema, but need specific things in place to help them cope with it.

YANBU never to go again; it sounds as though that would solve everyone's problem.

I told a group of teens to be quiet last time I went to the cinema - they were shouting/ calling things out at the screen all through the adverts and trailers but when one of them called out once the actual film started I turned around and just said "That's enough.") and they rolled their eyes but they were then quiet.

People have eaten popcorn etc at the cinema since cinema culture has existed - since before films even had sound - so to complain about that is to complain about something that has always been a part of the package and as such is properly ridiculous.

As others say fellow audience members can be asked not to talk or text and that is not unreasonable, but behaviour outside their control and behaviours that have been part of the cinema experience since the 1930s are part of the package you accept when you buy your tickets.

Like you Ginger my boys cannot control it, however, I'm getting good at not punching intolerant twats who make assumptions about my kids so it's still progress IMO grin

So if someone politely asked them to stop tapping you would "punch the intolerant twat"?

Saor I tend to ignore the intolerant twats while they wind themselves up further and further, thus getting themselves in trouble instead. Very satisfying.

Plus, when we go out, I always have numerous things on hand and specifics planned throughout the day to reduce any stress for the boys so that their behaviour has a minimal impact on others. But obviously there are no guarantees.

Well, someone that asked politely wouldn't at that point be an "intolerant twat"now, would they?

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe
If they weren't intolerant they wouldn't be a twat would they? keep up!

Ginger great minds and all that
I do generally try my best to make sure the boys are not going to get distressed and have coping strategies/exit plans in mind each time, but as we know, it doesn't always go to plan.

But you will punch the "intolerant twat"?

What's your point Chardonnay?

I don't think punching is nice, TBH.

But it seems this thread has moved from the Op, so I think I'll leave it.

But you will punch the "intolerant twat"?
No, I point out very sweetly that my son is studying for his Masters and ask them what they're doing with their life. Usually shuts them up.

Really? I don't think that making assumptions, being stuck up and dismissing disability is nice but there we are.

You know what? I generally keep my cool when confronted with ignorant or intolerant twats. I find it works well to make a complaint with management or the admin office if it's staff at a business, and to either ignore people in public or calmly tell them it's none of their business and that they're being rude. If they're being overly aggressive, I will take my dcs and walk away. Why? Because I have two impressionable children with me that can hear everything the other person and myself say, and my priority is making sure my children are alright, not pacifying the twat.

Interestingly, thus far since moving to London, we've had a lot less twattery from members of the public than when we lived in another smaller town.

In fairness I was joking about punching people, I've given up trying to challenge people who are twats judge my kids. Because you can't fix stupid.

Whilst we're on the subject of violence though, Chardonnay and you seem to want to push for an answer. As stated before, those cute children with disabilities become adults with disabilities. There is a rite of passage at some point which is clear to other adults but not those with disabilities. It gives other adults the right to complain, to shout, to take the piss, to be rude and to be violent. Disability hate crime has increased phenomenally since the new war on benefits, regardless of whether people are on benefits or not. It's just assumed, so do bear in mind that whilst the temptation to punch someone for being a twat can occasionally be unbearable, we, the families of those people with disabilites, and those of us who have a disability tend to be a tad more circumspect than those that seem to feel they have a right to taunt, humiliate, tip wheelchair users from their chairs or even hold someone down to 'stop their fucking flapping'.

I shouldn't have joked about punching people, in hindsight it wasn't the right way to go about thing.

Dawndonna makes a valid point though, it is challenging to go through life either living with intolerance towards yourself or your children because of something that isn't their/your fault or within their/your control. Until you've been there, you'll never know what it's like.

Hello, what am I wrong about? Being annoyed?

As ignored above, possibly I am undiagnosed and hence unable to deal with certain situations and certain noises. Should I just not go to cinemas?

Dawn That is so true. Anyone that walks by me and my dcs when we're out and about will hear me keeping a running conversation with them, reminding them to stay on the right going down the escalators to the tube, stay behind the lines waiting for the tube, don't mess about right next to a roadway, stay back from strange dogs as you might scare them (and it's not fair to have a dog put down for biting if you'd approached in a way that makes it feel threatened), move to the side for people that seem rushing up behind us as we tend to walk slower, be kind, no hitting (or kicking or screaming), if you're tired let's find a place to sit down so we're not blocking the pavement.... it just goes on and on, in a calm relaxed voice, helping them navigate, especially on more difficult days.

Why? Because they really struggle with social interaction, and I am trying to slowly help them learn some of the norms so they can eventually have more independence when they are older. I'm well aware of the whole "age of criminal responsibility" if they lash out at someone that pushes them over trying to get past them. I'm also well aware of their vulnerability. It's very difficult to strike a balance. And hard to tell them they need to be kind to others when others are not kind to them. But I remind them because I don't want them to treat someone else poorly.

If you can't handle people behaving in a reasonably (albeit annoying) way then yes you should reconsider going.

Throwing in that you might be undiagnosed is an odd thing to do at this point and could appear to be an attempt to get people to sympathise.

You were wrong for assuming there weren't any underlying reasons why the behaviour which so irritated you was happening. You were wrong when you were asked about it, and responded by confidently asserting several times with no evidence and spouting incorrect statistics (also challenged by Skyye which you conveniently ignored) and now when you're challenged you've decided you may have an undiagnosed condition.

Nobody is saying you shouldn't go to the cinema, but your needs don't trump everyone else's. That was the general consensus of what I and a couple of other posters were trying to say.

As ignored above, possibly I am undiagnosed and hence unable to deal with certain situations and certain noises. Should I just not go to cinemas?

rmrf only you know. If you can tolerate cinemas with specific aids (such as ear defenders, as my dc wear) or by going to specific screenings (such as my dcs do), then perhaps that's what you need to do.