To want to never go to the cinema again?

[rmrf]

Every. Single. Time. I go to the cinema, there's at least one person who talks/texts/crunches through the film and generally does their best to ruin it for everyone. I usually feel too hesitant to say anything as they've already proven themselves lunatics who care not for others.

Last night it was LA LA Land. Absolutely brilliant, gorgeous film, ruined by some tosser who decided to loudly tap his foot throughout every musical number. He wasn't even in time.

I love watching films but AIBU to not spend any more money on going out to see them, because no one knows how to behave politely? We have Netflix, Google and Amazon video I suppose...

SaorAlbaGuBrath well no, I do not think that.

I'm just working through what you were saying. You're saying I've should accommodate others' behaviour, for they may not know they have a condition and thus are unable to help it.

I've asked why should that not apply to everyone, including me? Why I am not worthy of some consideration?

Of course they do. Nobody has denied that, what we have done is asked that other possibilities be considered.

I have considered other possibilities exist, thank you.

I have tried to explain that I am focussing exclusively on the actions of the inconsiderate twats. No more, no less.

People that know they're being rude and are deliberately being rude or are simply uncaring are indeed rude and uncaring. That' really not rocket science.

The issue here is that often you are not going to know whether they are of the rude/uncaring group or if they have SNs/disability and either are unaware of their behaviour, unaware of the scope of their behaviour, or unable to adjust the behaviour for whatever reason.

But you stated (rather belatedly, and in a fairly questionable manner that seemed to be sort of goading) that you may be "undiagnosed with a condition" whereas you couldn't tolerate the situation. I then suggested ways for you to possibly tolerate it.

You don't think I wander in to a regular cinema screening and demand everyone sit still, don't move, and such, do you? Just because my dcs have SNs?? Of course not! In any outing or activity, we use whatever things we need to make adjustments for them to cope better - ds's wheelchair, ear defenders, snacks, sensory objects, and so on. I don't expect everyone to change to suit us - WE make the adjustments. I do, however, expect people to be tolerant and kind, rather than judgemental and unkind. Often, that seems to be expecting too much.

And that thank you I just posted reads quite sarcastically, but I meant it genuinely.

People that know they're being rude and are deliberately being rude or are simply uncaring are indeed rude and uncaring. That' really not rocket science.

Hence my WHOLE POST. I am only complaining about these people. It was a relatively lighthearted post. Good grief.

When you make no effort to consider anyone else's needs, and continually come back to "but what about me?" is it really so hard to understand why people get frustrated?

Never realised there was so many whingey fuckers in life until MN. Don't eat in public, it's offensive, don't use your phone in public, it's offensive, don't recline your seat on a plane, ever, blah blah blah.

Why not petition yours for Special Snowflake Screenings?

You caught me out on that one and made me laugh out loud. Now trying to explain the term "special snowflake" to my 10yo. Unsuccessfully, as I don't want him to actually USE the term to anyone.

And be psychic so that the person you are annoying doesn't have to lower themselves to ask you to change what you are doing.

Think of the potential, Ginger! Special Snowflake flights, where no food or drink is served (they all smell), the seats don't recline, all passengers are vetted to make sure they don't smell and then gagged so no one can speak. Special Snowflight trains, again, food and drink banned, passengers vetted for any odours, no phones, laptops, iPods, only 'polite' books allowed. Special Snowflake restaurants, bus routes, the possibilities are endless.

expatinscotland patent that idea, pitch it to MNetters and you'll make a fortune. You might need to change the name, in case it offends any special snowflakes mind

Hence my WHOLE POST. I am only complaining about these people. It was a relatively lighthearted post. Good grief.

Do you have a special inner "sense" that immediately diagnoses whether or not someone has SNs or a disability? Then you don't actually know if you are ARE only complaining about these people. Let's be clear here - you're complaining about the behaviour - not the people. You know sweet fuck all about the people behind the behaviour.

I love how people can imply or even outright state that those with SNs or disabilities should "sadly" stay home if they are going to disrupt anything for others, and then when they don't like the light shining too brightly on their assumptions and the discussion isn't going the way they want, they drag out the little "It was just lighthearted..." whinge.

Well, guess what? That little lighthearted whinge is something some of us have directed at us on a bloody daily basis. It doesn't make you funny. It doesn't make you "lighthearted" or amusing or anything other than petty, unkind... and well, fuck, just do us all a favour and put on your sign so others are at least forewarned when you approach the cinema.

You might need to change the name, in case it offends any special snowflakes mind

bwahahahahahahaha Love it.

But Ginger we're supposed to accept that it wasn't specifically directed at us, or our families and that it really was only lighthearted and can't we take it as it was meant and with good grace and, and, and...

I think that "Special Snowflake" screenings would be very popular, especially for people who have certain types of sensory impairment.

Dawn Of course, they never mean us, do they?

Yes, we need an inoffensive name change. I don't think Special Snowflake, Whingey Fucker or Nippy Bastard cut it.

Ginger

Actually OP, the fact you can make statements like the ones you have and hypothetical situations is pissing me off. For you it's a hypothetical question, a bit of fun on MN. For those of us with a disability or a child/children with disability it's a constant battle against assumptions and negative attitudes from people who make comments and pass judgement while knowing absolutely nothing about what they're talking about.
My boys DO have a diagnosis and I spend my life firefighting against ignorance and trying to protect them from negativity, all the while trying to show them that they must treat people with respect, try to consider other people's feelings, to give them coping strategies for when they feel overwhelmed and afraid, to help them navigate their way in a world which they don't understand and which frightens them in a lot of ways.
So tell me again why you are more important?

I vote for "Nippy Bastards Airline" it's got a lovely ring to it

I think that "Special Snowflake" screenings would be very popular, especially for people who have certain types of sensory impairment
Did you actually just refer to people with disabilities as special snowflakes? Fuck me what is the bastard point of trying to explain to people who are utterly determined to be fucking disablist because they can.

'I think that "Special Snowflake" screenings would be very popular, especially for people who have certain types of sensory impairment.'

My son goes to autism friendly screenings, but as pointed out, there are other members of the audience who have other impairments and sometimes it does trigger my son's sensory impairments. He has learned to deal. I don't go myself, my husband or a friend takes him, because I find the volume too loud in any cinema. That's life.

YANBU. I saw an anniversary screening of 2001 A Space Odyssey a few years back. The house was packed - every seat filled with eager SF fans and I swear you could have heard a pin drop the whole way through. It was bliss. Total respect for the experience. Then I go see some random new film with only a few rows filled and everyone is crunching and texting. DP drives me NUTS by shaking his popcorn tub to get the big bits to rise to the top. (He was not at the 2001 showing thank christ.) Why would any sane person do this?! Has he no ears? Even in a quiet bit. It is like a toddler with pasta in a pigging milk carton.

The issue here is that often you are not going to know whether they are of the rude/uncaring group or if they have SNs/disability and either are unaware of their behaviour, unaware of the scope of their behaviour, or unable to adjust the behaviour for whatever reason.

I agree with this. But I just do not go about my day thinking about the possibility someone is doing something because they have a hidden disability.

I am very fortunate not to be disabled, or to have any disabled family. It is therefore not something I encounter on a regular basis. It is also the case that there are more able people than there are disabled people.

So, disability is something I know nothing about, have no contact with, and is not part of my life experience. I realise I am lucky, but also, as I am human, because of my background I do tend to assume the person being annoying is doing it either deliberately or completely thoughtlessly.

And while I do appreciate what you're saying, and that sometimes people cannot help it for various reasons (repeat: I do not disagree with this), I also think that it is more likely to be someone who is rude rather than not - again, based on previous experiences and the fact that there are more able-bodied people than disabled people.

But as I have pointed out numerous, numerous times, I do not speak to, tell-off, intimidate, report, or in any other way inconvenience the person who is doing the annoying thing. I feel annoyed, and this is my prerogative. So, even if it is a person with SN, they will be completely unaware of my feelings.

In fact, my original post merely asked if I should completely avoid the cinema in future - I NEVER suggested people with SN should leave.

In addition, I feel my position and experience (rude people ruin the cinema) is also shared by many others - hence the people in agreement with being annoyed by rude people, and the memes etc. I was sharing a lighthearted post about this.

I think that "Special Snowflake" screenings would be very popular, especially for people who have certain types of sensory impairment.

I'll wait for the clarification on the off chance it was misinterpreted, as the phrase was being bantered about a bit. Hint - kindly don't include the phrase "it was just lighthearted"

Do people really find moaning 'lighthearted'? Just don't go. It's easily avoided. I haven't been to a cinema in years and it hasn't really impacted on my life.