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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To want to never go to the cinema again?

607 replies

rmrf · 15/01/2017 09:01

Every. Single. Time. I go to the cinema, there's at least one person who talks/texts/crunches through the film and generally does their best to ruin it for everyone. I usually feel too hesitant to say anything as they've already proven themselves lunatics who care not for others.

Last night it was LA LA Land. Absolutely brilliant, gorgeous film, ruined by some tosser who decided to loudly tap his foot throughout every musical number. He wasn't even in time.

I love watching films but AIBU to not spend any more money on going out to see them, because no one knows how to behave politely? We have Netflix, Google and Amazon video I suppose...

OP posts:
moongirl123 · 15/01/2017 19:21

I am a small girl and I would be the only person who would tell the offenders to STFU usually. It makes my husband on edge however and he wants to cancel our membership!

Just came home from A Monster's Calls today. Some mum decided to narrate to her child behind us all throughout the movie. Yes she was whispering or she thought she was, but by god it was annoying. I don't care how old your DC is, just STFU. If they cannot STFU, leave them with the babysitter!

For the offenders who turn on their phone next to me, I have peered over to read his/her text so they get the message. And I'd keep peering until they turn it off Grin.

LadyMelbourne · 15/01/2017 19:22

Lady M is reminded of this which gives her both solace and mirth

To want to never go to the cinema again?
SaorAlbaGuBrath · 15/01/2017 19:23

Lady M is clearly a genius Grin

skyyequake · 15/01/2017 19:24

I might be mad but I'm still right.

LadyMelbourne · 15/01/2017 19:25

Moon in that instance Lady M would wonder if the child was deaf and could not lioread or follow the action but didn't want her child to miss out and therefore narrated so that the child could lioread her. In which case that mother must have been exhausted and the child too frimmthe concentration required.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 15/01/2017 19:25

Skyye smashed the

wasonthelist · 15/01/2017 19:26

YANBU lots of people in cinemas are twats.

skyyequake · 15/01/2017 19:28

See LadyM I immediately wondered if the child had a visual problem. It's almost like gasp it's not hard??? ConfusedConfusedConfused

LadyMelbourne · 15/01/2017 19:34

I think as a general rule Lady M asks herself WHY a person may be acting differently instead of making an assumption that they are rude.
Now lord (Melbourne) knows there are rude people about (as displayed on this thread) but we differ in how we determined who is the rude party.
Lady M has used her mobile in a cinema - using a night screen and keeping her phone low - because it assists Lady M with accessibility. Lady am is not peturbed that others may not understand why she is doing this. Lady M understands she has equal right to be there just like anybody else and she is able to make reasonable efforts to ensure her equal participation

LadyMelbourne · 15/01/2017 19:35

Skyy why yes. It's a mind set which is most reasonable. Lady M would say it would in fact be more unreasonable not to think this way.

moongirl123 · 15/01/2017 19:36

Dawndonnaagain, the OP and people in general are not referring to disabled people. I had an autistic person sitting next to me who kept talking and I didn't say a word. Move on now, it's getting boring.

skyyequake · 15/01/2017 19:36

LadyM I salute you!

toyd · 15/01/2017 19:38

Well there's lots of meaningless chat but no actual information.

I for one would like to be educated, in a non aggressive manner, how to show more empathy. If a child is repeatedly kicking my seat, what should I do? how should I react? What should I say or not say?

I'm being serious here, some pointers please. I want to do the right thing.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 15/01/2017 19:39

I had an autistic person sitting next to me who kept talking and I didn't say a word

Your point is?

Move on now, it's getting boring she did, her son is in hospital.

hazeyjane · 15/01/2017 19:39

I think you're unreasonable to expect those just having a grumble about being annoyed in the cinema (no more, no less) to have SN/disabled people's needs at the forefront of their minds at all times

Why?

I often see behaviour of others and think, 'I have no clue what is going on in that persons life' or 'I don't know what the background of that behaviour is', so I shall try to be understanding and not make assumptions and get on with my day.

Funnily enough if i heard someone quietly narrating the film I would probably think, they are just trying to help their child stay in the cinema - ds has never managed a whole film but I know with things like cinema or theatre, he is better if someone is talking him through it.

skyyequake · 15/01/2017 19:40

Ah Christ we've got another one

skyyequake · 15/01/2017 19:42

(That wasn't aimed at you toyd btw)

brasty · 15/01/2017 19:44

If DC can not manage a whole film without someone talking them through it, they are not ready to go an ordinary film screening.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 15/01/2017 19:45

Toyd if someone is repeatedly kicking your seat, you'd be quite right to ask them to stop (or their parent if it's a child).
For me, it's important not to make snap judgements that someone whose behaviour could be deemed challenging isn't just a dick, that there could be reasons for that behaviour/tics/social difficulties.
Not making it obvious that you are shocked/disapprove/have even noticed when my child is having a meltdown and I'm clearly trying to placate him. Also not passing comment when it's happening (not aimed at you at all, just my experience of people's reactions).
Generally being aware of the language surrounding disabilities, not using words which segregate or imply that people with disabilities are somehow less important than NT people. Not dismissing it when people are talking about things that are difficult or hurtful, just because SN are mentioned.
Trying to understand, and empathise even if it isn't something you've personally experienced goes a long way too. And being prepared to challenge ignorance and bigotry wherever you find it.

None of that was aimed at you personally, I don't think you'd do those things, I'm just speaking from my own experience with my boys and what hurts/helps.

LadyMelbourne · 15/01/2017 19:46

Moon

Lady am does not take others to "move on". Why, the very thought of it!

As explained many many times, with strangers there is no "they are disabled/they are not disabled stance."

One simply does not know.

Therefore it is wise to err on the side of caution.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a grumble. Lady am is known to grumble and moan occasionally.

However when one is asking one to consider there may be another version of the story , well, that is only fair is it not?

Lady M is most perplexed that this is difficult to grasp or to do.

One must have good grace, no?

MNHQ
PresidentOliviaMumsnet · 15/01/2017 19:46

Evening all
May we remind you that Mumsnet's raison d'être is to make lives easier.
and that the one thing we can all do with is some moral support.
Peace and love

LadyMelbourne · 15/01/2017 19:49

When one makes a sweeping statement about who is ready or not ready to attend the cinema, what they are really saying is "I am more important than you"
Tolerance of difference is a wonderful thing.

LadyMelbourne · 15/01/2017 19:51

Olivia Lady M hopes that with increased tolerance, life will indeed be easier
❤

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 15/01/2017 19:51

I would agree Lady M, it seems to be a theme on this thread unfortunately.

uncoolnn · 15/01/2017 19:54

I haven't RTFT but I went to see a musical at the theatre last week and the couple next to me spent the entire time crunching crisps and popcorn so fucking loudly, it was all I could hear Angry