To want to never go to the cinema again?

[rmrf]

Every. Single. Time. I go to the cinema, there's at least one person who talks/texts/crunches through the film and generally does their best to ruin it for everyone. I usually feel too hesitant to say anything as they've already proven themselves lunatics who care not for others.

Last night it was LA LA Land. Absolutely brilliant, gorgeous film, ruined by some tosser who decided to loudly tap his foot throughout every musical number. He wasn't even in time.

I love watching films but AIBU to not spend any more money on going out to see them, because no one knows how to behave politely? We have Netflix, Google and Amazon video I suppose...

I am very fortunate not to be disabled, or to have any disabled family. It is therefore not something I encounter on a regular basis. It is also the case that there are more able people than there are disabled people.
How does this change anything? Again it's about you and your world, not considering anyone else.
I don't consider myself unfortunate to have two boys with ASD, I consider them two wonderful, kind, funny, intelligent, loving, independent, curious, protective young men who I am fiercely proud of in the face of some really ignorant opinions.
I am proud of my kids, because all of them are tolerant, they are generally understanding of others, and they don't judge people for no reason.

But I just do not go about my day thinking about the possibility someone is doing something because they have a hidden disability.

Perhaps you should spare a few moments to think about that.

So, disability is something I know nothing about, have no contact with, and is not part of my life experience.

Then take the time to educate yourself. It's not difficult.

It is also the case that there are more able people than there are disabled people.

So? How does that change anything? Disabled people are PART of society.

I also think that it is more likely to be someone who is rude rather than not - again, based on previous experiences and the fact that there are more able-bodied people than disabled people.

So this whole thread has taught you nothing. It'd be helpful for MNHQ to take note of how ineffective any effort to educate the uneducated is regarding disability. Please don't lose your sign, you'll need it.

So, even if it is a person with SN, they will be completely unaware of my feelings.

Really? How nice. It'd be even better if those of us on here were completely unaware of your feelings as well. Shame you had to go and blow that out of the water.

In addition, I feel my position and experience (rude people ruin the cinema) is also shared by many others - hence the people in agreement with being annoyed by rude people, and the memes etc.

That numbers of people share disablist views (or racist or other offensive views) doesn't validate those views. You're aware of that right?

I was sharing a lighthearted post about this.

Uh huh. Of course you were.

So what can people make a point about when they have gone to the cinema paid money to watch a film and others around them are spoiling their enjoyment of the film

Nothing ? Just suck it up becuase it's a public space

So it's ok to carry on with a discussion, it's ok to take a phone call, it's ok to put your feet up on the seat in front of you, it's necessary to eat constantly through the film from the plastic packaging that is noisy when handled,
to slurp your drinks so you get every last drop of your litre of coke like you did when you were 5 becuase it was funny (that will give you a sugar rush and make many people fidgety)

Many people think this is all fine to behave in such a way ignoring it doesn't in anyway make people more empathic to those with sn who might struggle in certain situations it just supports the notion of I do as I please becuase I can regardless of others

The point is rmrf that different things annoy different people to different extends and if you are not prepared to say ' sorry but could you stop tapping/rustling/breathing' then its not reasonable to complain to all and sundry.

I'm not talking here about use of phones which is banned in every cinema I've been to or letting kids run around and scream etc. But it is the case that one person's 'annoying rustle' is another persons unnoticeable background and communication is more effective than grumbling after the event.

How entitled do you have to be to essentially go "well I don't know anyone with SN so why should I have to consider that?" Sweetie, the world doesn't revolve around you and yours. Other people, like, exist? I can't believe I'm having to explain the concept of acknowledging you're not the centre of the universe to a grown adult. Smh.

expat my rant about special snowflakes wasn't aimed at you btw, I thought your comment was genius. It was aimed at the person who suggested that special snowflake screenings be reserved for people with sensory impairments.

Oh, I forgot about the slurping! That will be need to be added to the Special Snowflake list of banned activities.

Yes, in a way it is. How can I constantly remind myself of circumstances that I have no experience of? I, like everyone else, base my decisions and thinking on what I know.

I try and understand/empathise with others when I can, and when I'm reminded - but my default thought process will not be the same as yours. What else can I do other than literally be a different person?

And I'm not sure I can win here. I wrote 'fortunate' to try and communicate I recognise that those with SN or disabilities may have additional burdens and barriers to contend with that I do not. I think you may have twisted it there to mean something I didn't - i.e. that anyone is unfortunate to have children with ASD.

I go to a cinema where you pay more for the experience as the screens are smaller and the seats are more comfy, more leg room and they have tables that you can put your snacks on. People tend to be more a lot more courteous, I guess as it's more money.

I have to get up during the film once but I always book an aisle seat so I don't disturb anybody.

You need to be reminded to empathise with others? Perhaps you should pursue that diagnosis.

Oh the hilarity

it wouldn't be done by most people if they were having a meal in a nice restaurant or bar so why he need to do it in a cinema

Special Snowflake rules:
NO rustling.
NO tapping.
NO going to the bathroom.
NO food.
NO slurping of drinks.
NO whispering or mumbling or speaking of any kind.
NO coughing.
NO sneezing.
NO shifting in your seat.
NO tall people (except in back row).
NO signs.
NO laughing.
NO fidgeting.
NO BREATHING.

How can I constantly remind myself of circumstances that I have no experience of?

By taking Ginger's advice and educating yourself, like she said, it's not hard.
I think you may have twisted it there to mean something I didn't - i.e. that anyone is unfortunate to have children with ASD

I appreciate you may not have intended it that way, but it's how it came across. You are fortunate not to have a disability/child with a disability therefore by implication the opposite is true. The whole point of challenging disablism (whether its intentional or not) is to educate people and to help them to change the way they speak about disability and people with disabilities.

I haven't read every post on this thread but it seems that it has been hijacked by the people who would have us believe that every rude, ill mannered and thoughtless person we encounter possibly has a hidden disability. Yes maybe some do. But I reckon most of them are just rude, ill mannered and thoughtless NT people.

If I go to the cinema and am annoyed by someone rustling, talking or looking at their phone etc I am still going to be annoyed. There're is no way I am going to be sitting there thinking that maybe that person has some hidden disability.

Now now, we NEED the signs. How will we know which ones have SNs/disabilities and which ones are "just a dick" if we don't have signs?

Also OP I don't have anyone in my immediate family with SNs... I don't need to be reminded to empathise with others. I educate myself, I don't expect others to fit in with my limited knowledge of the world.

blue sky RTFT then.

Take a sign on the way back to page 1.

See, I knew those signs were a good idea

Yes I do sometimes need to be reminded of the difficulties people with DN/disabilities face. I just do - I'm not disabled, so I forget. Regularly. I cannot help it.

I don't know if anyone can say that you can understand every facet of every other person's life, and be considerate and aware of these at all times with any honesty.

My point is blueskyinmarch's. That is all. I just tried to understand some of the things Saor etc. were saying.

Just because you don't know doesn't mean it doesn't happen. You'd be surprised how tolerant other people can be, give it a go.

rmrf Contrary to general MN thinking, it's not our job as parents of children with disabilities to educate you or remind you to consider that others might have SNs/disabilities. As part of being an adult, comes a responsibility to actually engage the brain and educate yourself when you see there is a substantial portion of knowledge lacking. Try it.

And supposedly it's people with autism who lack empathy.....

Of course you can't, no one can. Difference is that when I make a comment and someone comes along with a point of view I hadn't considered I then consider it. I don't stick my fingers in my ears and go "that's got nothing to do with me so I'm going to stick by what I said no matter what."

You didn't try to understand, you didn't try at all.