To think SAHM's have an easier life?

[workingmummy123]

I understand this won't please everyone but I'm referring to SAHMs with school age children. I read lots of articles - one today on Facebook - which talk about how SAHMs "work" at home doing a hundred domestic chores. However I work full time and still have to do the exact same number of domestic chores - I just have less time to do them. Am I missing something??

one thing I will say though, people are SAHM's fo various reasons, I wanted to be with my children in their pre-school years but also if I had returned to work, the cost of childcare would have been more than my earnings for 3 under 5's, So I couldnt afford to go back to work.

Interesting one. I have been a SAHM when my kids were under school age, and also worked full time with 1 in school and 1 under school age. That was very, very tough and if we had a third child I'd never want to do it again if I didn't have to.

My two are now in school/school nursery 5 days a week for standard school hours. I now work 3 days a week, but for a short while, I had no job, and whilst it was lovely, and my house had never been so clean or tidy, I did find myself thinking what on earth do SAHMs of school age children do every day?! I also felt huge guilt that I basically had all this time where I could be doing something to contribute financially, but I wasn't. Sure, there's housework to do, but I really don't see how you can fill 6-6.5 hrs a day, 5 days a week with 'essential' chores if you have no children at home? Obviously some have the cash to shop/gym/coffees/go for lunch etc etc, and that's fine, but we were not in that position. What annoys me is when such women (SAHMs of school age kids with plenty of money for stuff as listed above moan about their lack of time to 'get things done.' I also think it does become a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy- I have lots of friends that are SAHMS with school age kids who say this, yet have cleaners, no job, no kids at home during school hours etc. I think it's entirely possible to convince yourself you are so busy and couldn't possibly work.

What I will say though, is I do sympathize with people who say it's hard to find a job that fits in completely with school hours. There are not many jobs that start at say 10am and finish at 3pm, and I guess for many people, the salary they'd earn is not really worth it once you've factored in before and after school childcare, so they choose to continue being a SAHM even when their kids are school age. I am lucky in that I love my job, and it does fit around school hours for the most part.

IME the saying 'ask a busy person' is true.
Our clubs/pta/sports groups locally are predominantly run by (often FT) WOHP. The parent Governors are FT WOHP. Those that stand in as extra parent helpers at groups are also mainly WOHP.
I'm not sure if this is because WOHP feel like they want to be more involved to spend more time with their DCs, or because they are generally more motivated /used to not having any free time anyway!

SAHP seem not to engage, either because of a seeming lethargy (which also seems to mean they are the ones who struggle to drop off and pick up their DCs on time) and a massive focus on 'me time'. Or because their OHs have such big jobs, they can't commit to anything.

I'm not sure if this is because WOHP feel like they want to be more involved to spend more time with their DCs

It's probably guilt at having dumped them in childcare all the time. Seeing as we're going for sweeping, rude generalisations that are total bollocks.

That isn't my experience at all angst. Our pta etc tend to be manned by parents who work part time or are sahps. I dont know anyone who works ft who helps out.

i,m now a sahm i worked for 20+ yrs i only stopped as ds2 is severley autistic my life isnt easy i get up at 7am mon to fri get both kids ready for school ds2 goes to as/n school so i put him on transport at 8am take ds1 to school its a couple of miles away so takes 45 mins to walk home ish i have a break for a couple of hrs then set about putting back together the destroyed house courtesey of ds2 leave the house at 2.15 to walk back to school to pick up ds 1 wait for dh to pick us up from work wait for ds2 bus about 4pm cook tea try to entertain ds2 and stop destroying the house again take two hrs to settle him to sleep from 8pm etcwake up in the am rinse and repeat.

People work to earn money. SAHPs don't get paid. I would hope that staying at home would be easier. I gave up my salary to make our day to day lives better. It would be very annoying if it made life harder.

I don't understand your point. A job pays a worker money but they have to work for it. A SAHP doesn't have a job, doesn't get paid and does not have to work. Seems logical.

Wow Soup Dragon that's mean

I don't feel guilty fir putting them in childcare. I think they love it

Minisausage Soupdragon is giving the (suspected) reporter the crap they want to publish.

Yes it probably is easier, depending on their other commitments. I'm not sure what point you're making. It's not a competition. Being a sahm is not my dream but if it works for others then great.

I've just became SAHM (due to health issues) and with kids at the school I can confirm life looks definitely easier without the pressures of work.
Anyway it can be a bit lonely and boring but being your own boss and to have time to read a nice book and a nap after lunch ...its just absolutely wonderful I think!

I'm a sahm/carer through circumstances. I definitely have it easier than if I was working.
I don't have it easier than every working mum because of the other things that I have to deal with.

Someone up thread said "working 3 or 4 days a week doing something you love, well paid I'd probably the best". I would agree with this - this what I did (with cleaner, gym membership and helpful and supportive dh) It was mostly pretty enjoyable. I took an better paid ft job with flexible hours when dd (my youngest) was at the end of year 3, I am lucky enough I still get to pick her up once a week- still have cleaner, but no childcare- I still have a nice life, although I would like to get to gym more often (hopefully that will happen when dd goes to secondary school).

Yup- we are all daily mail fodder.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4111130/Working-mother-sparks-debate-claiming-stay-home-mums-easier-her.html

The OP set this thread up as a phish hook and we have all taken the bait.

I ambivalent about newspapers using Mumsnet as a research source- it's going to happen this is an open forum for all to see.

But to so blatantly set up a thread in order to have posters jump through their hoops somewhat undermines the integrity of mumsnet.

Netmums have a system where all new posters are moderated for the first few posts until they can determine whether they are genuine or not. I'm not sure if that would help.

I really should have placed that bet!

right that's me done with Mumsnet

I'm a SAHM in a country where the idea of not going out to work is unthinkable for most women. Apart from the financial necessity of two incomes, women here in Canada secretly (or not so secretly) consider SAHMs to be freaks. I haven't been able to work for many years because my DC have SNs. I'm lonely and isolated, although there is always plenty to do.

I would love to go back to work. I envy everyone who goes to work, who has colleagues, responsibilities, clients, a salary, etc. I miss it but my work is at home, caring for my children whom I love.

The article doesn't seem to provide a link to the thread though, probably because she gets outed as a journo several times.

Oh, bugger! Bloody Daily Fail! 😡

cariboo, I wouldn't waste your breath. This thread has been started by a major UK newspaper, know for sleaze, and not a genuine parent.

Calling SAHM " freaks" is fuelling their fodder.

Good God! Why would I call myself a freak?

cariboo I am just pointing out the Daily Mails style of journalism.
A comment like that will be taken out of context.

Yabu. You don't know what an individual does with her day. Some wohp are lazy and drink coffee all day (I've had jobs like this, very little work). Some sahp watch TV all day, others may have relatives to look after, voluntary work, illnesses themselves or may work some hours from home (solicitor etc) which they may not share with you.

Collect your medal though and I'm sure you'll be rewarded with an excellent pension