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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get upset at inappropriate thread titles

396 replies

MrsGoranVisnjic · 22/02/2007 14:01

I've obviously made a huge error of judgement commenting on a thread full of hugely pregnant women and I apologise to them for that (pleading temporary insanity of disgusting icky cold)

however

I do hate seeing thread titles popping up all the time in active conversations (because they're ongoinng chats rather than jokes that fade away) that have sexual innuendo in the title .. just seems so uneccessarily childishly assinine

eg an ante natal thread entitled 'minty sperm or original' .. ach!

OP posts:
EllieKwithaHUGEbump · 22/02/2007 20:36

so long as you promise to keep it light hearted from now on and join in with the fun

Rhubarb · 22/02/2007 20:39

You can't have fun! You're pregnant! It's not allowed!

EllieKwithaHUGEbump · 22/02/2007 20:43

ooh i can
tomorrow i leave for an 80's madness weekend at Butlins

Rhubarb · 22/02/2007 20:46

When I had 2 weeks to go with my first I was pounding our concrete backgarden with a sledgehammer!

With my second, my waters had burst but I got bored with waiting so I did my weekly shop at Morrisons, stopping every 2 mins to breathe out a contraction - got some very worried looks!

I did go to a concert whilst up the duff but had to come out as baby kicked bruises in my stomach, I don't think she liked the music somehow.

Rhubarb · 22/02/2007 20:47

Enjoy your weekend!
Remember, loads of freebies if you can fake the odd contraction!

EllieKwithaHUGEbump · 22/02/2007 20:48

ds hated lullaby music when he was a baby, but Robbie would settle him in minutes, too much time in the nightclub?!

EllieKwithaHUGEbump · 22/02/2007 20:49

really? not sure they'd give me free go-karting sessions tho

Original poster
MrsGoranVisnjic · 23/02/2007 10:35

quick explanation:

I posted on the new ante-natal thread, I don't know why I even looked in the first place, put it down to human nature as I was expecting some further come-back.

When I got there I noticed there were some fairly unpleasant posts about me, I mean how after all could I have the temerity to dare to be upset at a jokey title. The comments placed on the ante-natal thread were gentle ribbing and fair enough but for some reason I got momentarily annoyed and did a 'ffs grow up' post which I immediately regretted so I asked MNHQ to delete it.

I went to check that had been done and see me being referred to as 'the not very nice one' and other such comments. If you have something to say to me, please don't talk behind my back on a thread that you don't feel I'll be on (even though you do know there's no such thing as a private thread on here). Make jokes of new thread titles by all means, its funny, but when you refer to another poster as not a nice person you really cross the line IMHO.

I objected to your initial thread title to your faces (on your thread) .. I then took my thought processes elsewhere to discuss them again openly. I feel I have been above-board. Even though you may not like what I said I have not been nasty to you and have the right to an opinion. I don't really care whether you dislike me for daring to comment. I feel I have apologised and had it thrown in my face as patronising so I simply just gave up.

I am not trying to bring this thread down again. But I did want to explain without putting it on your ante-natal thread .. feel free to direct people to this post if they want an explanation of why my post was deleted.

OP posts:
AngeG · 23/02/2007 10:52

MrsGV - I think we were all surprised at the offense caused and it was certainly not intended.

As has been mentioned we are proud that we have such a friendly antenatal thread and generally do our best to avoid any unpleasantness.

Booboobedoo · 23/02/2007 11:44

MrsG-V - I'm on the March thread but saw your post on the April thread had been deleted and guessed you'd requested it, as it wasn't really offensive.

Damn decent of you, I thought!

Sorry you felt upset by the 'not nice' remark - I would have too.

I can only plead pregnancy sensitivity on my fellow po-faced egg's behalf.

glitterkitty · 23/02/2007 13:16

Hi Mrs GV... this all reminds me of being 13. But I do think saying:

'I don't see how you have the right to be any more upset than I do .. but accept you have hormones coursing through your body that makes things seem more important than they actually are ... so again I apologise' DOES come across as a wee bit patronising. In my heavily pg emotional opinion. [shrug emoticon]

And '' just reads like 'you dont have a valid point- you are just over emotional dear!' in manner of michael winner

Anyway. Who cares. You didnt like 'spermy'. The threads now called something else. Shouldnt you be happy? Cannot we all hold hands and dance around a mooncup or something?

Original poster
MrsGoranVisnjic · 23/02/2007 15:11

Well all I can say to that is that it wasn't meant to be patronising it was meant to be empathetic (which others could see judging by some comments I've received) - as has often been stated here we've all been pregnant we remember how it feels and we remember the hormones coursing through our bodies... so you are saying I should just ignore a very real biological factor that I remember extremely well personally affecting my emotional state and beyond.. how you can equate a woman who has herself been pregnant with a mysogynist like MW is beyond me.

I also apologised in the OP if it makes any difference, not that it did "I've obviously made a huge error of judgement commenting on a thread full of hugely pregnant women and I apologise to them for that (pleading temporary insanity of disgusting icky cold)"

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 23/02/2007 15:13

Message withdrawn

Original poster
MrsGoranVisnjic · 23/02/2007 15:13

holds hands and wonders if we have to dance round a mooncup and whether it has been used?

OP posts:
Eddas · 23/02/2007 15:15

Mrs G, as one of the people posting here and on the april thread yesterday i felt i had to explain why i was slightly annoyed.

It wasn't the fact that you objected to the thread title. As i explained lots of times on this thread that is your descision and fair comment. I too don't like any thread titles with swearing as it is unecessary. What I really dislked about your posts were the continual references to hormonal emotional pregnant women. IMO all we were doing was expressing our opinions on your thread. And I was actually agreeing that yes you do have the right to dislike a title.

I don't think it's necessary for you to apologise at all for your inital comments on our thread or for posting this thread but I still believe that you were dismissive of mine and some others comments seemingly on the basis of being pregnant

Anyway i apologise if anything i said offended you it was not the intention. All I wanted to do was put my point of view across

glitterkitty · 23/02/2007 15:49

I do get it- I know you apologised loads etc and I think everyone is happy. Fair enough - maybe you only got offended because you were due on?

sunnywong · 23/02/2007 23:16

has this thing kicked off yet?

hunkerdave · 23/02/2007 23:18

I do think that antenatal threads can be ridiculously fluffy a lot of the time.

In fact, I might stir some up every now and then by posting on them randomly as "preciouspregnantpants" whaddya think?

oops · 23/02/2007 23:26

Message withdrawn

Rhubarb · 23/02/2007 23:45

I get the upset caused by references to emotional pregnant women, if someone had said that to me I'd have decked them. But what you guys do have to understand is that if we take the piss out of a thread title, we are not taking the piss out of individual posters. I could post a cheesy thread title and people could take the piss, I wouldn't take it personally. So don't you guys do that either.

It's just a light hearted pisstake and I for one am sorry for any offence taken. None was meant. Hope you all go on to have beautiful iddy biddy babbies! x

hunkerdave · 24/02/2007 00:38

Oops, do you have some sort of webcam set-up to MY house?!

Katy44 · 24/02/2007 09:04

I thought this was over, who keeps resurrecting it?
MrsGV - YOU kept posting on the April AN threads, so " please don't talk behind my back on a thread that you don't feel I'll be on"
as far as we were aware you WERE on it - that is LOGIC not my pregnancy hormones.
As for the rest, apology accepted for the hormaonal pregnant women comments (which did go on and on) but can we make some sweeping generalisations about you and your thought processes? You seem incredibly immature to me.

Katy44 · 24/02/2007 09:08

BTW I tried to be reasonable and explain my thoughts in my post on Thu 22-Feb-07 16:51:52.
You obviously didn't read it at all.

LieselVentouse · 24/02/2007 10:14

Rhubarb, maybe if they went onto other threads they would understand our humour but they tend to stick solely to their ante-natal threads - oooooh fight fight fight fight

Katy44 · 24/02/2007 10:19

Yes, I agree taking the piss out of a thread title is fine, what I object to is someone popping up, telling us we're a bunch of teenagers, following us from thread to thread telling us we're being unreasonable, patronising us and telling us to grow up, and then wingeing about OUR treatment of HER on another thread.

As I've already mentioned, she'd have got what she wanted without all this bad feeling if she had just approached us in a reasonable manner to begin with - I'm amazed she hasn't learned this lesson already - if you put people's backs up initially, they don't tend to be particularly accommodating.