Sleep baby fucking sleep

[sleeplesshell]

Why will my 10 month old not fucking sleep!!! She's not slept more than an hour in 5 months and I'm losing my mind!!! She's treating bedtime like a nap and is up until midnight every.single.night. I'm so fucking frustrated. I've tried it all and no joy. Not a minute to myself ever.

Ds age 5 co sleeps sometimes DD age 7 too. Sometimes it's lovely and I'm so happy I didn't force their routines...sometimes it's a fucking nightmare. I'd happily sleep on the floor with a towel to have some space

Well it started off with such promise. She slept from 7:15 - 1am. Perhaps the longest stretch she's ever done since being a tiny newborn.

I like a fool didn't go to bed when she slept, I stayed up and drank a hot cup of tea, had some chocolate left over from Christmas, even watched some tv (something that hasn't been done in months and months) it was a glorious few hours.

I went to be at 11:30 and she stirred at 1:15am. My DH went in to try resettle her but no joy so I went in and fed her. She was nice and sleepy so I popped her back in the cot. Then boom she flipped over, stood up and she was wide awake she stayed awake until 3:30am despite trying every trick in the book to try get her to sleep. Up again at 7:30am.

So she slept the night seeing as that's considered 6hrs but not at the right time so we've not gotten a good stretch of sleep ourselves.

I'm so pissed off this morning and feeling resentment towards getting no sleep.

Anyway if you've read this far, fair play, it's the ramblings of a very sleep deprived person and I'm sure very boring to most people.

Oh bugger. Well it is progress but not 100%... what do you and your dh do to settle her?

Agree, it's still a huge improvement and even if you didn't sleep, you still got some down time. Hang in there!

(Sorry if that sounds dismissive about your lack of sleep)

When my OH went in, he gave her her soother put his hands on her chest and gently kind of rocked her - that didn't work so he picked her up and gently rocked her. She did fall asleep but when he put her down she woke up and start crying.

It was her hungry cry so I went in and got her brought her back to our bed to feed lying down. Was hoping we'd both go back asleep but she was restless after her feed and was flaying about the place so I brought her back to her cot and put her down. That's when she fully woke.

Thinking tonight to feed her in her room and see if that helps? 🤔

Just had a lovely Nespresso! Hopeful for tonight if you don't have a new optimism everyday I think you'd go mad!

I would think that if she was hungry she wouldn't have gone back to sleep at all... she doesn't need milk at night at 10 months old. He needs to work on settling her in her cot- then she won't wake up when she's put down.

That is progress OP even if at the wrong time. My hope is to get her used to needing more sleep so she's more likely to sleep, if that makes sense. ??
I thought last night was going well and then it went to pot into the worst night yet. Baby woke at 11 and settled with a quick cuddle. Unfort older DD woke at 11.30 with nightmare and I was with her till after one, baby woke again at 2.20 and was wired to the moon. She finally slept around 4.30 and DD1 got up at 5. I have literally been up all night 😩
My glass of wine was still sitting untouched this morning.
Oh and we have a soft play party this afternoon. Just to really finish me off.

May the force be with you fuxxake! Soft play can be a test for a rested parent! Hopefully they have a nice coffee and cake? That's what keeps me going in places like that

Try looking at the baby whisperer site. The focus is on teaching them to self settle. They will cry but you stay with them and comfort them through it. It's worked with both of ours.

Have you thought about giving her some weetabix, toast, porridge as supper before bed then you know she's not hungry? Also this will fill her up and maybe help??/

I did cc and supper with mine at 7 months and 14 years later there really is no damage.

My 10 month old is killing me too! We have the odd night where she wakes only once or twice but the rest of the time it's constant wake ups. I cope ok with it for a bit then completely lose the plot. She has self settled in her cot at bedtime since she was 6 weeks old! Just wakes continuously.

Bit of progress op! Having briefly tried the more hardened methods I feel strongly against cc and still have ds age 5 co sleeping and waking a few times a night for more cuddles. I'm 40 in a stressful job and doing a PhD but rather than focusing on the annoyance I'm trying to look at it as precious time where mummy isn't stressed out during the day. Once I gave up the goingto his room for hourly feeding and concentrated on cuddles in bed it seemed to work better. The only thing I've been firm with for all children wherever they end up sleeping is the bedtime routine , bath, story , music (eldest loved Native American!!) at the same time. Had a night aromatherapy essential oil spray made up to spray on bedding (after 12 months).

Now I can cope with it the days of sobbing as I was so tired seem very far away and I feel I lost out on time to love dc . Sounds daft but this does get better!!

Queen I give mine tea around 4.30-5pm, usually some kind of purée followed by a yoghurt or custard and fruity dessert, then BF at bed 6.30-7ish. Do u suggest I try more food like weetabix or whatever just before bed?

Think you need to make sure she doesn't come out of her room once it's nighttime (no taking her into your bed) and also I would look at daytime naps. An earlier post suggested she is overtired when you put her to bed: try doing a short 30/45 min nap around 4pm. I have always found if I have the day naps nailed, the nighttime sleep falls into place too. Best of luck! Try to be strong now and you will reap the rewards later.

My son was exactly like this, except I was too scared to co-sleep so was up every 30 - 90 minutes.
In the end we did a total change to his routine but then stuck to it. He now goes from 7/7.30 to 7.30/8am.
We did no naps after 4pm. Feed (he was breast-feeding at this stage) about 6.30pm but earlier if he was really sleepy. Story and bath then bed.
At first he would cry a lot and I would sit on the floor until he stopped and then leave. I found trying to comfort him by talking to him only made it worse but would pick him up and hold him if he was really upset. Once calm I'd put him down.
If he woke in the night I would feed him but follow the same process. It was really hard but within a couple of weeks he was a different baby.
Hopefully it'll get better soon, it really is so much worse than it sounds getting no sleep!!

Put her in her own cot. Sounds like you are waking each other up. Stop co-sleeping. It will take a few difficult nights to get used to it but after that I bet she goes longer than an hour at a time!

Sounds like you are making some progress! We do the multi sensory thing too and it does work for DD. I'm going to go against the usual grain and suggest that she might be getting too much daytime sleep, meaning that she doesn't have a big enough sleep debt to pay off. At 10 months DD was only sleeping 2x 40 minutes (yes, it was a killer in the daytime, and on the extreme end of things) but would do an 11-12 hour stretch overnight. Could you try capping the morning nap gradually?

Both of mine were bad at 9/10 months with separation anxiety and DS was noticeable bad when teething and when reaching milestones.
We tried all sorts. Controlled crying did work for us but it is hard. On the plus side, it doesn't take long until it works! For many anyway. Goodluck! You are not alone OP.

Have you ever tried this?

I haven't tried it but I figure anythings worth a go?

Oh, OP i have been there, tried that, stumbled through it! My daughter is 5 now and generally sleeps through but we had some very dark times when younger. I fed her to sleep (which I stilldon't think is awful as some may suggest), she never had a dummy as she refused and she also refused to nap during the day unless in the car or buggy. My advice to you is to try everything. You never know what might work as children are all individuals. If co-sleeping works, do it. If you feel that baby needs their own room - try it. Try it all with good faith and crossed fingers. And know that no matter how bad things seem, it will get better. Maybe all of a sudden, maybe a little at a time.

Sending you positive thoughts and best wishes xxx

Hi there sleepy. Can I just say I know exactly how you feel. I've been through / am still going through (to a lesser extent ) this exact issue with my nearly 4 yo son. There are 2 things you can do you can go through the pain of sleep training and make sure you have a support network in place to help you or you can drug the bugger (joke) *sort of the only way we have managed to break the cycle of not sleeping is to give DS piriton an hour or so before bed as it is drowsy medication. I've done this for the last 18 months under my pediatritions guidance because I don't want him on the hard stuff. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. But I'd say even the nights it doesn't work we still get 5 hours plus in a row with a get up of 5:30 - 6 which is Def livable after so long with sleep deprivation. You really have to scream and shout for GP to do anything when it comes to sleeping which frustrates the fuck out of me. At its worst I was so tired and depressed I felt I could totally relate to mothers who fatally lost their rag with their child.

My DS was the same. First 4 months he woke for feeding only, after 4 months only slept one hour at a time and was then ready to play or scream for 2 or 3 hours until ready to sleep for an hour again. It's hard to describe to people the absolute mind fuckery of a baby who won't sleep and won't let you sleep. What you said about being in survival mode really hit a chord - that's just how it feels. Like you're just getting from one minute to the next, one hour to the next, one horrendous night to the next. It's a good thing we instinctually love the bones of them or I don't know how the human race would have survived!

When DS was 9 months we put him in his own room. It didn't work for us, but plenty of people recommended it as it worked for them. At 15 months we finally cracked and tried controlled crying. It broke my heart to hear him, I swore I'd never do it as it seemed so cruel. I'd been told all sorts about how emotionally damaging it is etc. But it worked. He's been sleeping through 7pm-7am for the last 5 months and he is the most cheerful and confident little sod you've ever seen. I'm completely certain controlled crying did him no harm.

I think you may be having problems because she hasn't learnt to self smooth. I also think your having a problem with her night time routine and partial waking point.
We sleep in a cycle. Non-R.E.M., R.E.M. And then partial wake.
Non R.E.M. Is when we fall into a deep sleep we then go into R.E.M. Sleep. R.E.M. Sleep is dream sleep and crucial to learning and feeling we have slept. We all then partially wake.
At this point you stir not waking completely to check that our environment is the same as we fell asleep.
If a baby falls asleep being rocked , hugged. Dummy in. Light on. On the sofa. Etc and something changed. Dummy fell out. Mum not holding me. Light off. Etc it will cause them to wake up. If nothing has changed they go back to sleep starting the cycle again. Everyone does this continually through the night.
To fall asleep your brain needs to produce the hormone melatonin. The dark is a natural trigger to produce it. We can trick our brains to produce it. This is by setting up a 10 minute bedtime routine that doesn't change. Do this every night the brain begins to associate it with producing melatonin.
Also if a baby isn't taught to self sooth they won't be able too. It's not an instinct but a learnt skill. The baby will rely on you to smooth them. They need to learn to be able to comfort them selves. This helps them in adulthood to deal with stressful situations and become self sufficient.
Sorry it's long but knowing the reasons why may help.
Also there are techniques such as going back constantly to say I'm here but leaving them in their cot. Don't let them just cry it out.
Also stroke their leg/arm so they stir an hour into sleep. This starts them at the beginning of the sleep cycle but doesn't wake them up.