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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you refer to your DD's vulva?

295 replies

Lalunya85 · 08/01/2017 20:43

I'm not sure if this has been done a million times before but here's my dilemma:

We speak three languages at home (including English, but it's neither my DH nor my mother tongue). In all of those languages, there are plenty of nice/cute/child appropriate ways to refer to ours son's penis.

Now my DD (15 months) has begun to show an interest in her genitals. But she is pointing at them and then uses the word that we use for our son's penis. I want to offer her a nice name that is neither technical, nor has been sexualised or turned into an insult.

None if our languages offers a solution.

Any ideas??

OP posts:
Fcukthetww · 08/01/2017 21:24

We had Mickey for boy bits and Minnie for girls as kids. DH's mum had the word pinkle for it which completely tickled me (childish I know)

DailyFailFuckwits · 08/01/2017 21:26

Fluffypigs Grin

WyfOfBathe · 08/01/2017 21:27

I use both "lady bits" and "front bottom", but DH says "foufoune" (French) which DD (5) uses in both languages.

poghogger · 08/01/2017 21:27

Bottom. Don't see the need to distinguish it at two tbh....

But they're two different things! Age has nothing to do with it?!

Real life LOL at fluffypigs. Grin

dollydaydream114 · 08/01/2017 21:27

Small children loudly exclaiming about their vulvas and penises always seems a bit 'Highgate Mums' to me.

early30smum · 08/01/2017 21:27

Sorry- to be clear obviously I know front bottom and back bottom aren't the correct words, however they are at least clear about what they refer to (at least I think so) whereas Minnie etc gives no clue. Mine know the correct words but use front and back bottom too.

greeeen · 08/01/2017 21:27

fluffypigs hahahaha
Have this dilema coming may try that

dollydaydream114 · 08/01/2017 21:27

DH says "foufoune" (French)

This is genuinely adorable.

LauraAndBaby · 08/01/2017 21:27

I don't like the thought of a little innocent child calling it a vulva or vagina or cunt?! We called 'vaginas' fairys in my house Xx

Greenfingeredfun · 08/01/2017 21:28

Brilliant fluffy, had to read out your comment to dh Grin

AtSea1979 · 08/01/2017 21:31

Fanjo...wonder where I got that from...

Waffles80 · 08/01/2017 21:32

Why on Earth anyone of sound mind would make up nonsense words for a female child's genitals is BEYOND ME.

Vagina and vulva are not dirty words.

The more they are referred to by twee nonsense words, the more young women grow up believing there's something to be embarrassed about over their vulvas and vaginas.

We say Minnie. I don't like hearing children say vulva and vagina I don't even hear many adults say the proper terms. They tend to use "your bits"

God help us all.

You know how we don't have twee names for our elbows, knees, collarbones and earlobes? That's because society hasn't ingrained shame in us about these body parts.

There's nothing shameful in having a vagina or a vulva, so stop perpetuating this myogynistic bullshit by referring to them with such bullshit names.

toomuchprosecco · 08/01/2017 21:33

we call it a fanjita. can't call it a minnie as that's what the cat is called.

Dahlietta · 08/01/2017 21:33

if she had to say it to anyone outside the family it's clear what she means

I have an odd feeling that my mother wouldn't know what a vulva is... I'm not going to ask her though!

user1468843120 · 08/01/2017 21:35

Undercarriage

AntiHop · 08/01/2017 21:35

I've got a 2 year old. We say front bottom but I've been occasionally saying vulva too so she learns that word.

dollydaydream114 · 08/01/2017 21:35

I should point out that in my family we always knew the correct words as kids - we just didn't use them ourselves and (completely unreasonably, I freely admit) thought kids who did were weird.

dollydaydream114 · 08/01/2017 21:37

Waffles80 You are really over-thinking this.

poghogger · 08/01/2017 21:37

There's nothing shameful in having a vagina or a vulva, so stop perpetuating this myogynistic bullshit by referring to them with such bullshit names.

Bloody hell, how many little boys call their penis a "willy"? Is that misogyny at play?

What about calling their stomach "tummy" or "belly"?

YoScienceBitch · 08/01/2017 21:39

Lots of our body parts are not medical names Hmm

Bennjerrys · 08/01/2017 21:39

DD 4 and DD2 both use Vulva and undercarriage- my husband got embarrassed about saying Vulva..

And safeguarding is an issue - I know of a case where sexual abuse wasn't picked up because of a cutesy name.

Bennjerrys · 08/01/2017 21:39

Although in my ideal world, we'd all be saying cunt.

dollydaydream114 · 08/01/2017 21:40

Waffles80

So, when your kids were learning to use the loo, did they shout out 'Mummy, I've done some faeces, please can you wipe my anus?'

Areyoufree · 08/01/2017 21:41

We say vagina. And yes, I cringe whenever I hear my 5 year old say it, but my Mum was always a bit funny about referring to the old lady garden, and I was brought up without a word to describe it. I felt very awkward whenever I had to refer to that area, so when my daughter starts shouting proudly about her vagina, part of me does cringe, but another part of me feels a sense of pride. She doesn't feel awkward at all, and that's a good thing.

Kind of. Not at supermarket checkouts.

Shallishanti · 08/01/2017 21:41

love it, fluffypigs Grin
to all those saying they will teach 'proper words' when their dds are 'old enough'- when exactly is old enough? Because, for many reasons, it seems to me when your child is old enough to be in the sole care of another adult not from your family would seem to be the time they need to be able to refer clearly to their body parts.
Child- Miss Smith! I fell over and hurt my bloobloo!
Miss Smith- Your what, dear?
Child- (confused) You know my bloobloo (gestures vaguely downwards)
Miss Smith- Can you show me where it hurts?
Child- Oh, no that's rude
Miss Smith (thinks- FFS)