To ask how you refer to your DD's vulva?

[Lalunya85]

I'm not sure if this has been done a million times before but here's my dilemma:

We speak three languages at home (including English, but it's neither my DH nor my mother tongue). In all of those languages, there are plenty of nice/cute/child appropriate ways to refer to ours son's penis.

Now my DD (15 months) has begun to show an interest in her genitals. But she is pointing at them and then uses the word that we use for our son's penis. I want to offer her a nice name that is neither technical, nor has been sexualised or turned into an insult.

None if our languages offers a solution.

Any ideas??

Now that I'm thinking about it, I think I decided on noonoo because of that sketch with the nurse on the Catherine Tate show.

Being a nurse, I think it just tickled my sense of humour

Holy shit this thread is embarrassing.

In isolation there's nothing inherently wrong or sinister aboht pet names for any body part. But people cringing and raising eyebrows at children using the word vagina?

Christ, some women really do us all (themselves included, of course) no favours at all.

"Ewwww yucky vagina! Cringey word! Let's use a minky-binky twinkly alternative that doesn't make everyone instantly think of a great big ol' wet fanny."

And as for the assertion that there is something sad/unseemly/unpleasant about an "innocent" having their innocence compromised by using the standard term, as though their life will be - in some small way - irretrievably worse for learning they have a vagina.

Waffles80 wasn't "overthinking" at all. It's only one short step from these babyish, asinine assertions to what they unavoidably infer. Hardly a macabre rabbit hole of avant garde thought.

In isolation there's nothing inherently wrong or sinister aboht pet names for any body part. But people cringing and raising eyebrows at children using the word vagina?

I agree. Ridiculous.

"Girly bits". She also knows the proper names.

Just as we use "willy" but the children know the word penis is its proper title!

Vulva. That's what it's called.

I'm in my thirties and have never used the word vulva. Think I only recently realised that it's different to vagina.

I know a woman who told her child that it was called a 'treasure box.'
I often wonder if that caused any problems as the girl grew up.

Brentilicious, I imagine it would.

Similar to my Dad, when told my nephews had said on seeing my DD having her nappy changed 'She hasn't got a Willy' replied 'When she is older she can have as many as she likes'. We are NC and he does not know I have an 11 year old DD and a 10 year old DS as well as my eldest, who has given me a beautiful grandchild, who I have no interest in discussing in that way!

We used 'gina when dd was little. I didn't have a word for it when I was a child 40s/50s it was just 'yourself' so 'don't forget to dry yourself', 'don't touch yourself' etc.

My girls called it their privates apart from one who called it her Paula, no idea why although at the time our neighbour was a Paula.

When DD started asking me what it was, I said "vagina". She calls it her "gina". I know it's a vulva but I only found that out myself on mumsnet a couple of years ago and I'm not used to saying it. (I know that makes me sound stupid but I don't think I'm alone! I dont think my own mum would know what I meant by vulva either!) I quite like 'gina anyway and think it's clear what she means. She's only 2.5 so when she gets older and her speech is better I'll tell her it's proper name is "vulva".

Her tooshie (short for fantooshie) 😂

She's only 4, but I'll soon start telling her it's proper name.

Haha my DM would refer to ours as Rosie's .. I got NO idea why but there you go .

My daughter, adult though , calls hers her Vagine (said Va Jine) sort of thing.

Personally I think the manner in which female genitals are discussed matters infinitely more than what they are actually called. IMO always saying vulva and vagina but acting as if genitals are something to be ashamed of is far more damaging than saying foof/tuppence/bits/whatever with no shame whatsoever.

In our house we are all (except DH, but he's the only bloke) inordinately proud of our tuppences/tupsies/bits and when necessary or interested discuss them openly with zero embarrassment.

"Front bottom" does give me the cringes though.

We've always used vulva, from birth.

24 years ago my CDs were told vagina("Gina"), from the get go. I thought vulva sounded like Volvo and might may me sound pretentious! (So bothered about criticism)vulva might have become vava by the girls, who knows? Think out of respect all people should know the names of private parts of the body . I wasn't given any name for my "bits", just "down there" and a usually disapproving look.

StrawberryandCreamPips I agree with you entirely. Vulva does sound unnecessarily medical, stern, and formal - although I'm sure someone will be along soon to tell me society has made it that way!

I'm medically trained so have no squeamishness about the words vulva and vagina, but I accept other people do at this point in time. I am happy to use slightly euphemistic terms for now.

My daughter was taught while toilet training to wipe her bottom and front bottom separately. I know some people seem horrified at this, but it's pretty clear to anyone, and not a mysterious made up cutesy name. As I am currently pregnant and will be telling my children about this in the next few weeks, I fully expect DD (8) to ask more about where babies come from, and although I have had that chat with her before in general terms, I told her I would tell her more when she was older. So I am prepared to go into more detail and let her have some of my textbooks to look though (I have an anatomy colouring book which is fantastically detailed and has sections on male and female reproductive systems as well as how babies develop in the womb). She is now 8 and knows I'll answer questions she has.

My DS is 4 and named his penis his 'dangle' of his own accord. That's fine for now, and he has noticed that girls don't have 'dangles', so we have chatted about that from time to time and will continue those conversations and bring up different terms when it becomes an issue.

Surely everyone is doing what they find best for their own kids, within whatever framework they are comfortable with, given what they were brought up with? There isn't a single 'correct' way to talk about sensitive things with all children.

There's a brilliant book called amazing you has some great words we use foofy and dinkle but the children know the correct terminology after the nspcc did its pantosaurus campaign