To ask how you refer to your DD's vulva?

[Lalunya85]

I'm not sure if this has been done a million times before but here's my dilemma:

We speak three languages at home (including English, but it's neither my DH nor my mother tongue). In all of those languages, there are plenty of nice/cute/child appropriate ways to refer to ours son's penis.

Now my DD (15 months) has begun to show an interest in her genitals. But she is pointing at them and then uses the word that we use for our son's penis. I want to offer her a nice name that is neither technical, nor has been sexualised or turned into an insult.

None if our languages offers a solution.

Any ideas??

If I went to the doctor I'd probably say vagina yeah. And stomach. But in every day chat I'd say fanjo/fanoir and tummy. I don't really know what the big deal is. Some people call their head their "bonce" or whatever.

Totally agree redexpat

The whole 'embarrassment at the proper words thing' is really because, as a society, we find female genitals embarrassing. Why?

I've had one brownie refer to her bits as something cutesy (she'd fallen on a rope that had gone between her legs [not inside her or anything!] that's why it came up) And I did know what she meant but then I'd seen it happen so would've guessed it would hurt there anyway. So I think the more common cutesy names will be understood by other adults who might need to know. But if one of them came up to me on pack holiday and said her Penelope was hurting I wouldn't have a clue what she meant! Thankfully Brownies tend to be past the age of discussing their bits randomly, at least in ear shot of leaders!

That saI'd they are both adult now and always call it Vagina.

Let's take tootsies for example.
How do you translate tootsies?

"front bottom" isn't technical anatomical language, but leaves no guessing as to what you mean, and it's not stupid sounding. People or character names is just silly.'

Well I'm afraid 'Front bottom' sounds stupid to me. Awful term.

I'd consider myself a feminist but can't get myself worked up about foofoo.

I despair when this topic comes up.

We use vulva, vagina, penis, testicles etc

It's the cutesy names that are so objectionable.

Bottom / bum /front bottom /tummy / belly are all really standard and acceptable colloquialism.

Minnie / foofoo etc are utter bullshit.

Nope, they're just different colloquialisms to the ones you prefer and in many cases just originate from different dialects to yours.

Loads of people use them; they are no less 'standard' than 'front bottom' and certainly no more related to shame/misogyny and no more euphemistic than 'willy' or 'bum' or 'poo'.

Just because they're not your preferred terms and happen to grate on you, that doesn't mean they are wrong or harmful.

That's a shame, pog, because I see it as one of the many ^seemingly small* issues that mean women and girls in this country aren't equal to men and boys.

Nothing about foo foo is twinkly or fluffy or sparkly, unless we have used a bath bomb and lots of conditioner

Tootsies is toes
We also say teeth are teethy pegs'

Lots of cutesy names in this house while we have a 2 and 3 year old. It hurts no one

I read something when my daughter was very young about making our "privates" seem embarrassing or dirty by not referring to them as the correct terms to children growing up . Therefore I personally always said it's a vagina to my daughter which is exactly what it is and also said privates as made it clear that is a private area .

It's not that they grate, Dolly, it's that they perpetuate female inequality through teaching girls that their genitals are shameful.

Other colloquialisms don't do this.

I prefer saying willy to penis
Boobs to breasts

Not embarrassment, not anti feminist. Just words I'm happy using.

Why is foof or fanny shameful but willy not?

But what about all the other parts of the body that have slang used for them as previously mentioned?

wIkky/tinkle for penis for example?

Not wikky, obviously, willy.

And why is front bum ok? It's inaccurate as much as foof is, so why isn't that implying that genitals are shameful

Reading this thread, I have to feel sorry for any girl whose first name is actually Minnie or Penelope!

I managed to live with my parents and older sister from birth till I left home at age 19 without anyone ever referring to the genital area at all!

I think girls (and boys) should learn the correct terms for their body parts. It's amazing how many adults don't know the difference between vulva and vagina. Unacceptable really. Even my autocorrect has suggested I really want vulcan or villa...

I also wouldn't use winkle etc for penis.

So those who disagree with vulva / vagina are posing lots of questions.

Why the cute names? Why names that sound so twee? Why names that sound like small woodland creatures?

What scares you about the proper words?

Why do we use wee not urine
Poo not feces
Boobs not breasts
Belly not abdomen
Finger not phalange

The most formal or medical term isn't always needed, there is no deeper sinister meaning to it.

Not really anything yet. I guess vulva or Scheide?

We used to call it what can be translated to little slit for vulva and little pipe for penis. Bit weird but ok. I think we'll stick with vulva and penis. It has a name. I'm not going to call my toes sparklies, am I?

miss Victoria front bottom is the most cringy and creepy on this thread for me. So twee.

because they evolve with children and have to be relateable and pronounceable.

We tried teaching ds penis. It became peepee very quickly.