To think DH is missing so much of the good stuff

[UnbelievablyChocolatey]

Let me start by saying DH is a wonderful man and I love him with all my heart. However, since having DS who is now 10 month old, some of DHs behaviour is really starting to bother me.

One example. Every night we are meant to bath DS together, as DH works all day so it was always meant to be something pleasant for us to do in the evening. But it always ends up being me bathing DS whilst DH is busy tidying up from tea or something like that. Bearing in mind that after bathtime I then give DS his feed and I put him down to bed. So he could always tidy up then.

It's the same on the weekends. If I nip out to do the shopping or something I'll get home and DH will have football on and be tidying up or something along those lines, and DS will be playing. (Our house is already spotless may I add!)

I just feel like he's going to regret missing these early memories. Tidying and all that can wait. Our DS can't. Or am I just being daft?

Laurie - My husband does not work 80+ hours per week.

Honey, apologies, getting you mixed up with Mindtrope.

honeybee neither do I really and neither does my husband so when he comes home from work he wants to be involved in his care, which lets face it for a baby is really just nappies, baths and playing.
I'm just trying to understand when you might have been able to go to the hairdresser, gym, out with friends or anything like that.

But returning to a point you made earlier, being a 'great provider' and being a hands on carer are far from being mutually exclusive. I know many dads on six figure salaries who are also accomplished nappy changers.

I'm just trying to understand when you might have been able to go to the hairdresser, gym, out with friends or anything like that

Yes I'm fascinated by this too. Do you have to get a babysitter in if you want to go for lunch with a friend in the first two years of each of your children's life?

poghogger - I would take them with me, or pay for child care. What do you do? What do single parents do? Surely you do whatever you need to do without dragging your husband away from work.

honey I do these things at the weekend or in the evening when my husband is home. Everyone I know also does this. You're not a single parent so you can't really compare your situations.

Honeybee most people do those things in the evenings or on weekends when the other parent is home. No need to drag him out of work.

I do wonder going by your tone whether you've created this situation to give yourself a sense of importance.

Your role is so important that you must do it all so as not to impose on your husbands precious time.

I don't think it is necessary for me to create a case for being important to my children.

My husband works hard for a living. There is nothing wrong with that, it is what responsible parents do. His (precious) leisure time he devotes to his family.

The two aren't mutually exclusive.

You are important to your children. Your husband is equally important to your children. It doesn't matter how hard he works, he can still do childcare.

My husband works hard at his job, he also does childcare. It is perfectly possible to do both.

Crikey you both sound very intense.

And does he never see his friends? Or get HIS haircut? Seriously I still don't understand how this setup works 

Poghogger - you don't need to understand.

ZaraC - bully for you.

I know I don't need to, I'm just curious. It doesn't make any sense.

I'm going to just say it, it's very odd that through 5 children you've never so much as popped out anywhere and left your children with their own father.

It's entirely your choice of course. I can completely understand a sahp would do the majority of the childcare, but to say you've never so much as gone for a bath during which time your husband has had to care for his children does make me wonder if you're even being honest.

It's certainly not life for the majority of families.

I see it's 50's night on MN. So OP should be grateful her husband tidies; and should be excused spending time with his child because that's boring? Well if it's so darn boring perhaps OP needs a break from looking after her boring baby too?
OP - clearly you should have baby in bed before DH arrives home, his dinner on the table, slipper and pipes at the ready. That was how it was done in 1953 and you must be GRATEFUL for your lot in life.

Why is it bully for me?

You come on here and talk about men who change nappies being 'crap providers' and 'ninnys in pinnys' but get so defensive when anyone questions the practicalities of what you're saying.

ZaraC - I don't know what you think you have been reading, but I have said none of the things you claim in your last post.

I said my husband does not change nappies or bath babies!

I know it's wrong, i said if one parent goes out yo work, then they shouldn't have to do housework when they get in, whether it's a man or a woman.

But that means that the SAH partner is working 24 hours 7 days a week whereas the out of the house one is doing maybe 37-40 hours per week. Where is the fairness in that?

I find it really odd that you'd need paid childcare in order to pop to the shops/get a haircut in a Saturday rather than simply leave the kids with their dad.

I've never come across a dad so helpless he couldn't field a few hours fgs.

I bathe daily and spend leisure time with my family.

I did not say that men who change nappies are crap providers.

Try reading what I have actually said instead of twisting my words.

HONEY bee - these were your words at 7.22
It seems that many contributors to this thread think a man has to pass the 'hen pecked ninny-in-a-pinny' test to prove that he is a proper parent.

For goodness sake Laurie! I did not say I need child care to go to the shops or cut my hair.

ZaraC called your husband a hairy baboon though. I would talk to her if I were you.

You strongly implied it honeybee.

I'm not entirely sure what you meant by hen pecked or ninny pinny.

How does that mean nappy changers are crap providers Iamnot? Or any of the other crap attributed to me?

Laurie said you light a bonfire every time she puts her washing out.