AIBU to think it's not some random woman's place to declare that my son goes home from the park?

[CloudsOfChid]

My son is 9 and quite frequently goes to the park with friends. He came in yesterday and was very quiet (a lot earlier than usual) and I asked him what was wrong. He explained some 'shouty woman' told him to go home. I asked him why and he said because he wanted to keep using the swing AIBU to think it wasn't her place?

Depends why she said for him to go home.

Because he wanted to keep using the swing. How could it be her place anyway?

It wasn't her place but are you sure that a group of 9 year olds was behaving?

There is an awful group of girls that bully all the younger children at my local park and I would happily tell them to bugger off home.

Did you ask him how often he uses the swing?
Were they hogging it and she told them off?
Good for her.

I doubt very much they were behaving.

I'm sure they probably were 'hogging the swing' all the children do when they get to use it, but a polite "could my son/daughter now use the swing please" wouldn't go amiss. To just shout at him and declare he goes home?

Are you sure about what went on?

I really think it might be a good idea to supervise him in the park.

Hs wanted to keep using the swing. It sounds as if perhaps she or her child asked if they could use the swing and he refused. The woman shouting at him was out of order. Refusing to let little kids have a turn would also be out of order if this is what happened. Perhaps have a word with him about sharing and not hogging stuff?

It's human nature to try to get away with what you can. If you let a group of 9 year olds police themselves for trip after trip to the park (and it sounds regular) they will misbehave. And this time they got told.

Or... they are tiny angels who never do anything and the mean lady shouted.

I saw a HORRIBLE woman once repeatedly kick a football at the swings because some older kids were on them. I was so open mouthed that I never said a word...she had little children with her....the kids swinging were only about ten or so and they left in a hurry.

I wish I'd said something.

And I saw a group of kids alone, about 9, throwing little stones in the direction of younger children.
I was the horrible woman who shouted at them and got them to stop.
So?

Also, OP, if you think it's not another adult's place to tell your children off, them you should be supervising them yourself.

Not every adult is always correct?

I'm a bit confused, why is it wrong that he goes to the park with friends?

No they aren't. Do you know he was behaving though?

"Don't tell my child what to do!"
"I'll stop when you start."

could my son/daughter now use the swing please

And what about when the other child doesn't want to get off?
Or the child swears at the adult?
Or they get off, but 30 seconds later harass the child/parent to get back onto the swing?

It's not wrong that they go by themselves, but they are children and they often misbehave.
Can you tell us you never have to tell him off at home?

people are saying supervise him because he is 9. 9 year olds should be supervised while out IMO. I live in Australia and I would have child protection at my door if I let my 9 year old wander around the streets or go to the park alone. Someone at my kids school had her kids removed because she let them go off alone at that age. I am not judging you I am explaining why people are saying to supervise him.
Make sure the woman actually yelled. Kids tend to exaggerate.

You need to have a talk with DS about being kind to those smaller than him and being respectful towards adults. He should have given up the swing when the lady asked (I am sure she didn't go straight to "shouting")

It takes a village -- It's our collective responsibility to make sure that, among other things, small kids are not being mistreated by older ones, especially when no one is supervising the older ones.

I was just thinking the same Euphemia

I would be very about the shoutiness.

My experience as a parentand teacher is that "shouting" invariably means "telling me off/stopping me from doing what I want to do". My 21 DD still says I'm shouting if I in any way critique her actions. It's a fucking pisser and distracts attention away from what the perp/child was actually doing, as you then start on: I wasn't shouting. Yada yada.