Am I in the wrong over this facebook post?

[user1475002412]

Dd goes to Brownies. I purchased a ticket for her to go to local panto with the Brownies in June 2016. Paid in cash. Asked Brownie leader for receipt, she said they didn't do receipts.

Three days before panto, the Brownie leader posted on the facebook page the arrangements for panto and listed the names of all brownies going. Dd wasnt on list.

I posted asking why my dd not on list. Brownie leader said there was no ticket for her as i hadnt paid. I replied saying i had paid in cashand that dd would be upset if there was no ticket. I admit i was annoyed and then posted that i would like a refund if she hadnt ordered my ticket.

First brownies session today and leader has given out a letter saying she wont tolerate unkindness as she is a volunteer. Pretty sure this comment is aimed at me....

[BabychamSocialist]

Nope, YANBU. Brownie Leader is - sounds like she's made a massive cock up and is trying to pin the blame on you!

[averylongtimeago]

Tbh, as a leader cash payments are a right Royal pita. Even if you give receipts, there is always the possibility that a mum says "but I did pay cash and I never got a receipt!"
Add that to the usual scrum of parents and girls waving forms, cheques and anonymous cash at you at the beginning of each meeting and it's no wonder you can get a muddle.

This is why we no longer accept cash, cheques and bank transfer only.

What every unit could do with is a parent to step forward and offer to take over the collection and recording of payments...can't see it happening though.

However, this leader has left herself wide open by not giving receipts.

[LastLeaf]

I agree cash payments are a pain in the arse. My daughters exguide leader wouldn't accept anything else! One of many reasons I have removed dd.
Oh and I did offer to help out in any capacity. I was politely turned down.

[averylongtimeago]

Blimey lastleaf! We would bite your hand off if you offered to help!

[LastLeaf]

avery thanks. I'm an ex Tawny Owl too so I do have some experience! Was a tad disappointed when I was told no.
Ds is starting Beavers this month so I would like to get back into it (had to leave Brownies due to house move but I really miss it!)

[Lunar1]

If you volunteer to do something, you do it to the standard expected. I'm a nurse and for 4 years volunteered a day a week in a hospice. I was as professional and dedicated for those 8+ hours a week as I was in my full time paid job.

Being a volunteer does not give anyone the right to behave badly and make snarky public comments on social media. I would go higher up, maybe she initially forgot and misplaced your money, human error and fair enough. But she then ignored your message, so what may have started as a simple mistake ended with her steeling your money and your dd missing out.

[user1475002412]

A form giving photo consent has not been issued to any parents. I checked with a few other parents. My dd, for some reason, just never appears in the facebook photos. Actually thats a lie, i did catch sight of dd's back in last weeks photo!

I will be asking this week, for my money back.

[KERALA1]

Going against the grain but I'm uncomfortable with the righteous anger against a volunteer. Who gives up her free time to do this. I would suck it up - in the grand scheme of things you are well "up" as this volunteer facilitates fun experiences for your dd. I still remember my time at brownies and guides 30 years later.

Am not a brownie / guide leader but am grateful and appreciative of those that are.

[user1475002412]

I should suck up losing £25? Are you serious? Or you must be very rich. If you read the thread you'll see that I did let it go. Until the leader started publicly having a go at me when she is in the wrong.

[KERALA1]

You sound very aggressive.

[midgetjen]

I think that the photo permission boxes are on the joining form you would have filled in when dd first started but maybe a current leader could clarify?

[TreeTop7]

I paid £50 cash for school meals once, several years ago. I handed it to one of the school admins but it apparently vanished and weeks later I was chased for the money, out of the blue. It was resolved, but I decided then that I wouldn't ever be paying cash for anything that cost more than a fiver. Cheques and bank transfers are safer.

For now, stuck to your guns. Request the refund again (on the original Facebook post if necessary).

[LastLeaf]

KERALA As an ex leader I was always transparent with our finances and would never have expected one of my parents to "suck it up" re £25 just because I gave up my free time!

[ZebraOwl]

OP, as midgetjen said, when your DD joined the Unit a section of the "Starting Brownies" registration form you [should have] completed covers photo consent. (I mentioned said form earlier, when talking about contact details for your local Commissioner & your worrying lack of contact details for the Unit Leader.)

[CakesRUs]

She's taken your money. I would be annoyed. If you stay there, next time they need money, put it in an envelope, clearly marked how much money is in it, what it's for and your daughter's name - you can even put a note with the same details on it. They should give out receipts.

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

She won't put up with unkindness. Well you won't put up with being robbed soft and basically being called a liar. saying you'd not brought tickets when you clearly had. This is financial abuse

[averylongtimeago]

@LastLeaf and anyone else thinking of volunteering with girl guiding- if you go on the girl guiding website and go to the "join us" section, there is an online form. Fill it in and leaders in the area you specify are given your details and should get in touch with you. I bet there are other units near you who would love to see you!

[Overthinker2016]

Christ Almighty, I can't believe all the posts saying this is theft escalate it. It's not theft, it's a mix up.

I'd love to see some of you lot giving up hours of your week every week to do something for other people's children. Really can't believe how entitled some people are.

OP your facebook post was slightly aggressive in tone I'd say. You could have direct messaged the leader and said nicely that you think there's been a mix up but instead you came over all officious in a public facebook post. If you hadn't done that the leader probably wouldn't have felt the need to hand out a letter. She is a volunteer after all, not your employee.

I would just remove your child from the Brownies tbh seeing as you feel the service provided by the volunteer isn't up to scratch. I'm sure that will be better for everyone.

[HardofCleaning]

I have to agree with Overthinker2016 if you genuinely feel she stole from you, or that she is irresponsible you would surely remove your DD from brownies. If not then clearly you still feel that all the free labour she puts in exceeds the hassle from her admin failures. I can understand politely chasing up the loss of £25 but it shouldn't be aggressive or public.

[Bestthingever]

So you've told her you believed you've paid for something and she chooses not to address that and complains about 'unkindness'? That's shocking. Your comment was absolutely fine. I would go above her head. I hope it gets sorted.

[MaudOnceMore]

I don't think it's unreasonable to take this up the chain (to the division or district commissioner) but on the basis that funds are not being handled properly and there are no receipts being issued, not that the money's been stolen. It's also bizarre that parents don't have contact details for the leaders; perhaps they're not using the Starting Brownies form, either. This things are certainly worth mentioning but the last couple of posters are right to say that, if you really thought the leaders were incompetent and unable to provide a safe environment for your child, the logical step would be to take her away.

[user1475002412]

We didnt fill out any paperwork at all when dd joined. It was all very informal, everyone joined through word of mouth. I only knew about it because I'm friends with a woman who knows the leader via church.

[MaudOnceMore]

Again, that's not in accordance with Girlguiding's rules. You should have been asked for your contact details, details of an emergency contact if there's an urgent problem and you can't be reached, health and allergy etc information and in return you should have been given contact details for the unit leader and the division/district commissioner. All this used to be done via a form called Starting Brownies (although I've got a feeling that form might have been superseded since I left but there must have been some kind of replacement).

If you do want to speak to someone about your concerns, I suggest you ring Girlguiding HQ. They should be able to identify your local commissioner and put you in touch.

[Overthinker2016]

Again, you should withdraw your daughter then, seeing as the volunteers are so incompetent.

[BishopBrennansArse]

The scout group two of my kids attends has a trackable online payment facility and for cash it's a no cash no form accepted system so if the form is there and it's not paid online then cash has been received.

We also have to fill in permission slips every term for activities, photos etc.

Sounds very disorganised and worthy of a complain to District.