Am I in the wrong over this facebook post?

[user1475002412]

Dd goes to Brownies. I purchased a ticket for her to go to local panto with the Brownies in June 2016. Paid in cash. Asked Brownie leader for receipt, she said they didn't do receipts.

Three days before panto, the Brownie leader posted on the facebook page the arrangements for panto and listed the names of all brownies going. Dd wasnt on list.

I posted asking why my dd not on list. Brownie leader said there was no ticket for her as i hadnt paid. I replied saying i had paid in cashand that dd would be upset if there was no ticket. I admit i was annoyed and then posted that i would like a refund if she hadnt ordered my ticket.

First brownies session today and leader has given out a letter saying she wont tolerate unkindness as she is a volunteer. Pretty sure this comment is aimed at me....

That letter is highly passive aggressive though Toast and I should think will dissuade many parents from wanting to volunteer for the pack

It's not passive aggressive. It's to the point. And I imagine the only thing other parents will do is give fleeting thought to the fact there has been a mix up.

I've read all your posts and I'm still sitting on the fence.

Why didn't you pursue it? You said you had a lot on, but we all do! If your daughter was going to be upset about missing the panto then surely you would pursue it?

I had a similar situation where I paid for the big guide plus subs in guides for dd1. Was assured I would get a receipt and didn't.
Couldn't proved I'd paid it so had to pay again. That was in the June.
Fast forward to sept and the first meeting back the leader came rushing up to me to apologise and tell me that my money has been allocated to the brownies by mistake but of course had shown up as an overpayment on their accounts over the summer.
If you are 100% you paid it just comment ah well it will all come to light when your accounts are audited.

Sorry but this is wrong & needs pursuing, you paid her-where is the money???

A duplicate receipt book is something that is easily purchased and costs about 2 pounds. It should be used whenever someone gives money to the troop, especially cash, not only as a record for the person paying, but to enable whoever is responsible for the money to reconcile the books. As it is, someone could easily filch cash from your troop and no one would be the wiser.

If she's going all passive aggressive, well so can you. Buy them a receipt book and give it to the leader 'in the spirit of being kind, and helpful'.

I usually only pay by check for the school and PTA because then I have a record from the bank of payments going through if there is a problem.

As a brownie leader I understand the volunteer part. We always issue receipts. However ds at cubs does not so for that reason I always pay by cheque not cash. That way it can be traced.

Beaver scout leader here, I don't think what you posted was wrong. I have been subjected too some pretty rubbish stuff while being a leader. But I think your post is perfectly valid and not particularly unkind. It's possible that the leader is just on the defensive.
I also don't understand her lack of receipts. I also think you should have a number to contact her. I would talk to her about it and if it carries on take it higher.

How much did the ticket cost? Yes, she does sound disorganised, but it is just a careless mistake where the money was accidentally mislaid, probably when she was setting up at drop off time or clearing up afterwards. It's easy to do. It would be horrible to have accusations of theft being bandied around and I wouldn't blame her for resigning.

Well that's not rude. I mean, it's pretty to the point for sure, but it's definitely not rude.

MrsPeely so the leader has an issue with one parent and then sends out a message to all parents stating that someone has been unkind.

That's really not the best way to deal with issues of this kind.

Pay by cheque. Inconvenient for them, but then you have proof.

But as money has to be handled by the volunteers I am a bit aghast at an organisation like that doesn't 'do' receipts. They are leaving themselves open to a whole world of trouble. As they are a charity, something doesn't sound quite right there.

Ex Tawny Owl here (for Brownies) we always issued receipts but encouraged parents to pay directly into the Brownies bank account.

My daughter has recently stopped going to Guides due to the Leader having a similar slap dash approach to finances.

Can't believe you didn't pursue it tbh.

I think it's absolutely wrong that she took the money and didn't issue a receipt. It's very much worth raising this with someone higher. I would however be careful with the issue of the note, you don't actually know it was aimed at you and you don't know if the leader is trying to deal with a different issue.

I can kind of see both sides. Presumably it was an accident and she is doing everyone a huge favour to organise these kind of things. Sounds like her admin is rubbish and you're obviously completely reasonable to pursue it in terms of getting your money back (and really she should apologise once it's cleared up) but making a rude post in public probably wasn't the best reaction to an honest mistake.

I wouldn't be so sure on it being an accident.

Theres no "history" as such between us, but I get the impression she doesnt like me. Whenever i drop dd off I smile at her and try to be friendly but she always looks through me, like I'm an alien. Yet with other parents she so friendly. I once saw her in the street, smiled and said hello but she looked at me and turned the other way.

She posts pictures on the facebook group page of the brownies doing activities. My dd has never been included. Photos of all the other brownies except my dd. (This could just be me being paranoid!)

Have u perhaps not given photo consent for ur dd? Big thing in guiding now

The letter may not have been directed at you at all. It is amazing the nasty emails parents will send to the volunteers who run Brownie and Cub troops and similar. It is likely you aren't the only one who got burned and someone else was much ruder about it.

I don't see that you were rude either. You just asked for a refund. That isn't rude, that is reasonable. What were you supposed to write? 'Oh that's OK, keep the money'.

You need to push it with being friendly, imo, Make her talk to you. and the photos of your dd, might be somethign or nothing.

Pleases and Thank yous go a long way OP. I notice you didn't use either in your response to her.

A receipt protects the recipient as well as the payer... has she done this before to anyone else? I have a big mistrust in people handling cash that are so flippant about giving receipts.
I would most definitely be sending an email to her cc'ing her next in charge.
I understand that you've had a difficult time with family illness and timing has been tricky, however, what if you're not the only one she 'forgot' and has nicely pocketed your cash

Tell her you're delighted to hear she won't accept unkindness, so no doubt she'll be refunding your money.

Actually, you're going to have to be tactful, and say no doubt it has slipped her mind but you did pay and you do need that money to be returned. Do you have anything to back up the fact that you paid - e.g. was anyone else there, did you withdraw the cash specifically so it'll show in your account, or anything like that?

Beavers/Scouts have always given a receipt here. I'm massively appreciative of our volunteers but people take the piss. Over the summer, two parents were having PA conversation making snide comments in the leaders hearing about the scouts being 10mins late back from a weekend camp. Utter arseholes.

Although factually correct, I think your post in Facebook was curt. I wouldn't have posted something like that on social media. She might have your money but I think it's a mistake and disorganisation rather than stealing. Your message reached more than the newsletter.

I had this when my dd was in Rainbows. They did let her go on the trip anywsy as a "gesture of goodwill" despite tge fact id paid snd they thought i hadnt.
It still grates on me now writing it down.
I tbe paid subs and everything through Brownies and Guides by cheque so it was traceable. I appreciate cheques are dying out but kids clubs is when they come into their own in my opinion.

I think people don't realise how hard it is to volunteer in these roles - it's a massive responsibility to run a group every week and to keep on top of all the rules and admin.

She should have better record keeping and provide reciepts. But is she finding it too much? I think it's likely to have been a mistake than deliberately pocketing the cash. She was probably embarrassed at your curt message on FB, rather than a direct message or email to her asking what had happened with your DD ticket. Some people get defensive when caught out at a mistake without being given the chance to rectify it

OP have any parents offered to help her out? Is there an ongoing rota of parents willing to help at events and to sort admin tasks? We all chip in to the scout group because we appreciate that the leaders are volunteers and need all the help they can get.