Am I in the wrong over this facebook post?

[user1475002412]

Dd goes to Brownies. I purchased a ticket for her to go to local panto with the Brownies in June 2016. Paid in cash. Asked Brownie leader for receipt, she said they didn't do receipts.

Three days before panto, the Brownie leader posted on the facebook page the arrangements for panto and listed the names of all brownies going. Dd wasnt on list.

I posted asking why my dd not on list. Brownie leader said there was no ticket for her as i hadnt paid. I replied saying i had paid in cashand that dd would be upset if there was no ticket. I admit i was annoyed and then posted that i would like a refund if she hadnt ordered my ticket.

First brownies session today and leader has given out a letter saying she wont tolerate unkindness as she is a volunteer. Pretty sure this comment is aimed at me....

That letter is highly passive aggressive though Toast and I should think will dissuade many parents from wanting to volunteer for the pack.

We always give receipts at our guides, but to avoid situations where someone says "but I paid cash and you didn't give me a receipt" not saying this is what happened here btw we now don't accept cash at all, bank transfer or cheques only. This way, everyone is sure if the money has been paid or not and can see exactly where it has ended up.

Our Scouts use an on-line payment system now but used to issue receipts. Also the child would have to hand in a permission slip and that wouldn't be accepted without the payment so pretty easy to keep track off i.e. I have 12 permission slips so I need 12 tickets, even if the cash and cheques have already been passed to whoever deals with the money side of things.

Our unit issues receipts from a duplicate book for this reason so that both parties have a record of payments and their purpose.

I didnt pursue because to be honest I couldnt take the stress of it all. Started a new job, a relative has been diagnosed with lung cancer, childcare issues and so on. It was easier to let it go especially as dd wasnt too fussed about missing it.

I should have spoken to brownie leader today, but again have so much going on at the moment I was prepared to let it go. Until i read her "i am a volunteer and wont accept unkindness" comment.

Our Cubs have to issue receipts and do accounting. Surely brownies is the same. Your money is missing somewhere and I'd be asking for it back or taking it further. It's not your fault she's not dealt with accounting or record keeping correctly.

Don't feel bad, you weren't mean, you just stated facts. She probably feels defensive, but maybe she'll now be better organised! The letter suggests to me that she isn't sure if she had the money or not (personally I think the view stated by many that she stole the money is harsh, it was more likely a mistake).
I don't think you can easily get the money back tho with no evidence that u paid - I'd definitely pay by cheque or transfer in future.

Hang on though, your exchange with her was back in June, just before the pantomime. Why would you think that the letter she handed out now, refers to that incident? -it was over 6 months ago?

Sorry, I think you meant that u paid in June, not that the panto was in June - my mistake! I'll shut up now...

That would piss me off as well. It's pathetic how she is interpreting your confrontation and questioning as being "unkind". Does she want brownies to be all happy and smiley where nobody is allowed to be assertive or speak up when something isn't fair or right?

Yes I paid in June. I feel really uncomfortable about it all and am dreading having to see the brownie leader again.i know she doesnt like me and this confirms it.

Ring the district commissioner and tell them what's been going on. Luckily your DD wasn't bothered about panto but what if she had? It was a horrible thing to happen.

I wouldn't let it slide. You need to be refunded. Emails take a few minutes that kind of thing really bugs me!

Escalate the issue. Theft is not tolerated either at the Brownies or the Scouts, and I have a feeling this is what she's doing if she isn't issuing receipts (every brownie/gg/scout/cub group I know of does).

Ex Brown Owl here.

I agree that the Brownie leader is a volunteer and your expectations should reflect that - you might not get all the admin bells and whistles that you would at a group where subs are high enough to pay an administrator - but but but Girlguiding rules are thT you should be given a tsceipt for every payment. I doubt that the leader has stolen your cash. It's more likely that she's one of those disorganised types who just shoves all the money in a cash box and then doesn't know who's given her what.

We dont get receipts from Rainbows either. Never have. But they do seem to be better organised.

That's outrageous. Give her a letter in return saying you won't tolerate theft.

I agree with the others, please escalate this. She may have made a mistake, we all do, but you've given her enough time and opportunity to rectify it. If she isn't going to return the money willingly then its theft. And do not hand her any cash without receipt in future.

Is there more to this? Is there a history of you arguing with her or pointing out her mistakes?

Not that I'm accusing you of anything OP. Just wondering, as you said you know she doesn't like you, if there was a bit of a history. Could it be that her perception is maybe that it was a final straw of some kind and that's why she wrote the letter?

Aargh this happened to me. Paid dd's ballet fees in cash, no receipt, then the next week I was given a reminder to pay! She clearly didn't believe me when I said I'd paid, and thought I was trying to rip her off. It was all very awkward but I was buggered if I was paying twice. Carried on going for the sessions that I'd paid for and never went back.

Yes you need to speak to her. If unkindness is not tolerated, is it not unkind to take someone's money, not give a child a ticket to a panto and to then sent a passive aggressive letter out to a parent that queries it??

If a quiet face to face conversation cannot solve it, then it needs taking further, and their payment system needs updating. Of course you should expect that she will resign and flounce off, she sounds they type!

You can't be bullied into submission by her supercilious attitude, you are right and she has stolen your money consciously or not! She should be apologising and you need a refund.

When you say you know the Brownie leader doesn't like you - what's that all about?

Did you reply on FB and say "I paid cash in June" and then leave it, or did you have a bit of a rant straight away? If someone has made a mistake you have to give them a chance to put it right.

She must have had a note of who has paid though to issue the tickets. So unless she's added someone to the list who hadn't paid and given them your ticket (unlikely imo) she should either have had an extra ticket or the equivalent cash?

Gift the pack a receipt book (couple of quid from Rymans) and ask for your Panto refund...

Ex rainbow and brownie leader here too and I wouldn't have responded like your leader.