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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel the party?

276 replies

FudgeBiscuits · 06/01/2017 16:56

Kind of a WWYD, kind of a WIBU.

My DD turns 4 in little over a week and I've had a party booked at a local play centre since November (for the day before her birthday). No deposit has been but down. But it's all sorted and people have RSPV'd for the party.

She's been really well behaved and over the last week she's been asking to go horse riding for her birthday.

Originally she wanted a party with her 10 or so of her nursery friends (that's when I booked the party).

I've asked her if she wants to have a party too, she says no, just horse riding.

She also wants to go to the play centre the day of her birthday with her 2 best friends.

WIBU to cancel the party? And just take her horse riding and just organise her friends to meet us at the play centre for the party?

OP posts:
EthelEgbert · 06/01/2017 19:02

Everyone thinks this is about the OP pandering to her daughter's whim - it could just be that the OP didn't think that children's parties were that big of a deal and actually didn't know that cancelling would be considered rude.

I could see how someone could possibly think that it would be ok to cancel and not be a "big deal" - especially for their first child who is only 4 years old and they haven't been through the "party mill"

Mrsglitterfairy · 06/01/2017 19:02

You are being VVU even considering this. Both of my children are very precious to me however I would never let down another 10 children, parents, families etc down as one of them changed their mind. This is how people like the Kardashians were created I'm sure. All kids need to learn about other people's feelings being important rather than being self centred and that's where a lot of future generations are going wrong!

EthelEgbert · 06/01/2017 19:03

Hope your DD has a wonderful time at her party, fudge

MrsJamin · 06/01/2017 19:05

Sorry OP, however precious and wanted she is (all children are precious), you need her to learn you can't uninvite people from your birthday party just because she's changed her mind. YABVU and you shouldn't be shocked to get this response, that is exactly what aibu is for! Just go horse riding in the morning or another day in addition by all means.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 06/01/2017 19:07

it could just be that the OP didn't think that children's parties were that big of a deal and actually didn't know that cancelling would be considered rude.

You don't have to think that children's parties are a big deal to know it is incredibly rude. It's called basic manners

itsawonderfulworld · 06/01/2017 19:08

Oh just cancel it, OP. And watch your DD be excluded from parties for years, and of course nobody ever accepting an invite from her.

Poor girl. And yes, you're raising her to become an entitled princess. That isn't her fault but she'll be the one to suffer for it.

Gooseberryfools · 06/01/2017 19:10

Fudge. You've created a princess. It's not her fault but yours

EthelEgbert · 06/01/2017 19:10

Yes, to most folks it may be "basic manners" but perhaps not to everyone.

Not everyone realises that children's parties are sacrosanct, I'm sure.

Not everyone was raised with the "party etiquette handbook" and not everyone was raised with basic manners.

EthelEgbert · 06/01/2017 19:12

She did ask, perhaps she genuinely didn't know that it was bad form.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 06/01/2017 19:15

Glad you've decided not to be a twat-you know it's the right thing to do.
It also ensures that your daughter doesn't become the child that's never invited to parties as if you'd pulled this stunt that is what would have happened.

Tatlerer · 06/01/2017 19:17

Fudge of course you want to make DD's day special, and after everything you have been through (fellow IVF mum fist-pump) I can understand how you are feeling. However, I do agree with everyone else- the party must go on! She may be the at the front and centre of your universe but you are the parent and you call the shots.

jetSTAR · 06/01/2017 19:17

Um OP I don't know if you know this but where I live children have to be at least 5 to go riding and sometimes as old as 7. Just sayin' may have missed point of thread

Pinotwoman82 · 06/01/2017 19:17

Everyone this is a total wind up! DM will love this, she is just feeding it! How can you suddenly invite 6 more? Most playcentres normally have a limit of 10-12 children (I have 3 DS so have done my fair share of play centre parties) I can not believe they have not asked for a deposit Hmm

Gooseberryfools · 06/01/2017 19:29

OP I had similar fertility issues but that doesn't mean I should ride roughshod over others

BIgBagofJelly · 06/01/2017 19:31

I don't think there's any need to be so harsh to OP, she would have been unreasonable to cancel the party but she's accepted that and invited some more kids so it's all ended up OK.

multivac · 06/01/2017 19:38

And with such maturity and grace, too, BigBag Grin

Silentelf · 06/01/2017 19:41

Nice one OP. Came on to say pleasd don't cancel (imagining my little DS face if I told him a party he's been looking forward to isn't happening anymore). But you've invited more - good work! Hope you and your DD have a great time

Jaagojaago · 06/01/2017 19:51

Just think for one minute about the eight kids who are not your precious own kid.

That you're even asking this question is gob smacking

100milesanhour · 06/01/2017 19:51

I don't know how to tag member, but one member said she didn't know anyone who had cancelled a party after the invites had went out.

I know someone who cancelled a party 1 week after the invitations went out. My son was invited.

She said she wasn't getting enough replies to say they were coming so she cancelled the party with 4 weeks to go.

I don't think she took into account that some people don't rsvp and just turn up nevermind the fact she put the invites out 5 weeks before the party.

Her poor daughter. She was turning 5 at the time so was well aware it was her birthday party and her mum had made such a big deal about it. The little girl was really upset (and quite rightly so).

Mum then slated all the invited parents. It didn't go down well.

Bananamama1213 · 06/01/2017 19:52

My son is nearly 5 and my daughter is nearly 4. They would both be really gutted if they were excited for a party and then to be uninvited because it was cancelled. I wouldn't cancel it!

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 06/01/2017 19:52

Are you serious?

Original poster
FudgeBiscuits · 06/01/2017 20:02

Some of you need to learn to read!

OP posts:
Original poster
FudgeBiscuits · 06/01/2017 20:04

Just for reference (again).

The play centre is pretty large, with one 'party package' there's a minimum of 20 kids.

Also, in regards to the horse riding query, she's been before whilst she's been 3yo. Something to do with the insurance, some get it some don't. But this centre she'll be riding at knows her age and are more than happy to take her on.

OP posts:
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 06/01/2017 20:05

Some of you need to learn to read!

Hmm
Mrsglitterfairy · 06/01/2017 20:10

Some of you need to learn to read!

Rude Hmm Maybe you just need to accept you were being unreasonable and ignorant to other's feelings and people aren't just going to agree with uou

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