To cancel the party?

[FudgeBiscuits]

Kind of a WWYD, kind of a WIBU.

My DD turns 4 in little over a week and I've had a party booked at a local play centre since November (for the day before her birthday). No deposit has been but down. But it's all sorted and people have RSPV'd for the party.

She's been really well behaved and over the last week she's been asking to go horse riding for her birthday.

Originally she wanted a party with her 10 or so of her nursery friends (that's when I booked the party).

I've asked her if she wants to have a party too, she says no, just horse riding.

She also wants to go to the play centre the day of her birthday with her 2 best friends.

WIBU to cancel the party? And just take her horse riding and just organise her friends to meet us at the play centre for the party?

Am I being unreasonable?

Now let me give you lots of shit arguments as to why you are wrong!

I never get why people ask when they've already made up their minds.

Yes, you'd be a dick unreasonable to do this.

OP clearly will cancel.

Can't have little Chantelle having to suffer through a party she know longer wants can we.

No one cancels a party on the whim of a 3 year old. Unless they are aiming to raise Mummy's special little Princess types.

I wouldn't mind personally if I got a text the week before saying we are unfortunately cancelling the party. I would however be perplexed and my four year old would be gutted....if he remembered. He has a party tomorrow he'd totally forgotten about.

It's definitely strange though. I'd just take her horse riding on the day of her birthday.

Your poor dd, can't you see the damage you will cause her bringing her up this way?
Also very unfair on venue I hope they still invoice you.

If you didn't know that it was rude to cancel a party after issuing invitations and so close to the date, then you didn't know - it's not a big deal to not know. It's good that you asked, now you know.

It really isn't about whether or not your daughter decides what her party is about, it's about being courteous to your guests.

Meant to say I wouldn't mind cause I absolutely hate kids parties so I may not be the most objective.

Just for reference, she is my 1st child last child.

My husband and I tried for 12 years and suffered 3 miscarriages before being able to conceive via IVF. So indeed she is precious to us.

If you read back through some of the comments you will see that some of these 'women' are slating my daughter, who is not yet 4 years old - disgusting in my opinion.

I called out the woman who was suggesting I wasn't returning just because I hadn't returned immediately to the barrage of crap (apart from the very few helpful people).

Her party is on the 22nd and birthday on the 23rd. So a little over 2 weeks away.

1st and last*

I don't think you can cancel OP, I would take her horse riding as well as the party myself.

That said you've had some unnecessarily unpleasant responses on here. I've reported the one slagging of a four year old child so hopefully that will be gone soon.

Her party is on the 22nd and birthday on the 23rd. So a little over 2 weeks away

It was "a little over a week" originally, OP. Do keep up.

The time to ask her what she wanted to do was before you invited other people - others will have arranged their weekend plans to suit your party, and bought presents - you would be VVU to cancel.

Surely if she is your first and last child you want to parent her sensibly and responsibly? Of course your DD is precious to you, but that doesn't trump the need to be courteous and polite to other people too, and it would be very rude to cancel now.

fudge don't be that parent. You have invited her friends to a party, you can't just uninvite kids because she willy-nilly decided to change her mind. Maybe this is a good opportunity to show her the consequences of decisions made - she made a commitment and nows the time to show her to honour her commitments.

As per previous PPs, YABVU.

The post refering to your DD as a princess is more of an insult to you rather than your DD. If you behave like this and teach your DD she can have / do what she likes, regardless of how it affects others, you are doing her a great disservice.

'Effects others', not 'affects others'

What about the deposit you must have paid? Surely you'd lose that if you cancel now?

I am all for listening and respecting the wishes of my kids, we 'parent' in a very co-operative fashion. However, part of the role of parent is reaching them social norms and niceties and how to treat others. Cancelling a party with short notice doesn't come under that. Talking over the options in detail before booking and inviting, and doing what they suggest would be the way to go. Or coming to a compromise...Party and riding.

Chasedbybees
You were right the first time: affects others. It has an effect on others.

Oh that's ok then. As long as the poster was only using a 4 year old child to insult the child's mother, that's just fine

It really doesn't matter how genuinely precious your daughter is to you OP. You are doing her no favours changing the plan. Why not demonstrate to her the value of a broad base of trusted and polite friends who you don't disappoint on a whim. That doesn't mean she isn't the most important person in your world. But it does mean she sees you respecting others. She can do the other activities on a different day.

Please don't do this, OP

Look - if you cancel what are you teaching her? That she can get what she wants to hell with others. She'll have a great time regardless of what you do I promise you. She'll be the star attraction anyway and forget about the horse riding or whatever! You are really doing her no favours even at 4 giving into her. Changing the plans will make you unpopular with parents and then watch the play dates dry up.... she won't love you then. If need be take her on an second day out somewhere but you really can't change the plans

Can't you just spend the next couple of weeks saying how great a party would be and getting her excited. I don't see how you could uninvite party guests. That's so mean!!

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...
DM here this story comes!

SomeDaymy prince will come..the poster hasn't paid a deposit.

I wouldn't cancel a party, unless there was a more legitimate reason. (Illness etc)
Im sorry for the poster, as its her money that is to be spent, and parties are expensive, but in effect she is cancelling 10 sets of parents who have had to make arrangements to attend the party, buy a suitable present and card, even if it is in two weeks time.
To have 10 rsvp's 2 weeks before the party is an accomplishment in itself. You would also, be disappointing 10 children, and their parents have to deal with this, and my youngest just doesnt forget things..
As a parent, I think I would remember for the future and not accept any more invitations for said child, if it happened to us. And I would be pretty annoyed if other children were not disinvited too, and were invited to the new preferred select party

Just invited 6 more kids.

Fuck it. Might as well do it right.