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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the nurses shouldn't have spoken in a different language in front of me?

485 replies

ColouringTheBrain · 04/01/2017 18:56

If I start by saying I think our NHS staff do a great job Smile I'm not looking to be flamed, I genuinely want to know if I'm BU.

I had to go to the hospital today, the nurse that initially dealt with me was kind and gentle, also in the room was a colleague of hers ( another nurse). The nurse took my bloods, then went to get another machine, it was then that the two nurses started talking to each other in a different language ( I'm not trying to be vague, I just haven't got a clue what language it was). It made me feel really uncomfortable as it was directly in front of me, whether they were talking about me, or what's on TV, or other members of staff I feel is irrelevant, I felt like they shouldn't be doing it in front of a patient. Obviously I didn't say anything, I wasn't feeling the best anyway, but I also felt slightly intimidated I suppose.

AIBU, or should I just accept it as part of the care?

OP posts:
HarveySchlumpfenburger · 04/01/2017 19:35

Even if they were talking about you, it might have been information that you shouldn't be privy to in case it worries you.

Surely anyone stupid or ill-informed enough to do that needs retraining anyway. If it was info the OP shouldn't have been privy to, it shouldn't have been done in her hearing regardless of the language.

Patriciathestripper1 · 04/01/2017 19:36

They were rude. Their job is to put you at ease not make you uncomfortable.

Eliza22 · 04/01/2017 19:36

It's a matter of respect. It's not a social occasion. The nurses aren't chit-chatting whilst stacking shelves at Tesco.....these are PEOPLE. Humans. Often in a heightened state of anxiety. No one goes to hospital for a "day out".

I'm flabbergasted by some of the replies on here!

CaraAspen · 04/01/2017 19:37

"ColouringTheBrain

Thanks so much for your responses. Just to clarify, the nurse obviously did do her job, that's not a concern at all.

The reason I felt uncomfortable was because there were only three of us in the room, so when they started talking together I wasn't really sure what to think I suppose.

That's why I posted here because I wasn't sure if I was BU, it's great to get different views."

So there were only three of you present in the room. That is what I imagined when I read your OP.
They had no right to exclude you as they did. They were being unprofessional and rude.

Tallulahoola · 04/01/2017 19:38

If they were chatting away for ages like two fishwives then I would say that's unprofessional and a bit rude.

But

This is the second thread I've read this week where an OP has said they felt "intimidated" by people speaking in a foreign language. (The other one was a complaint about Polish men drinking, and was deleted.) I mean WTF? What is intimidating about two nurses having a conversation? I think you need to get a grip.

user1480946351 · 04/01/2017 19:39

I would see any conversation which excluded you as a bit rude, regardless of the language it was conducted in

If it was in English it would still have excluded her, because they were talking to each other and not her.
It's a very British kind of complaint, I have never heard similar in other countries where people generally speak multiple languages. Only British people (and I think Americans) have this arrogant idea that they must be able to understand the conversations of people around them or its somehow rude!

CaraAspen · 04/01/2017 19:39

"DotForShort

I don't find the setting relevant. Shrug.

If the OP had a genuine concern that the nurses were discussing her medical condition, surely she could have asked them directly. Otherwise, it's none of her business what they were talking about or in which language they were speaking."

None of her business? This gets worse.

eurochick · 04/01/2017 19:40

Yanbu. It is rude and unprofessional. I have worked in a multi-lingual workplace (in a country with several official languages).

LoupGarou · 04/01/2017 19:40

Just a question, why not tell them politely at the time that they were making you uncomfortable?

LoupGarou · 04/01/2017 19:40

Sorry,that sounded snarky, wasn't meant that way.

CaraAspen · 04/01/2017 19:40

Oh now the get a grip thing is mentioned. Wonderful.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 04/01/2017 19:40

Even if they were talking about you, it might have been information that you shouldn't be privy to in case it worries you.

This is a very ignorant statement.

As patient you are entitled to all information, it's the only way to for make an informed decision about your body and future.

CaraAspen · 04/01/2017 19:42

LoupGarou

Because the OP was already anxious and intimidated? She was in a hospital, presumably for a reason, for one thing.
Pfft

iminshock · 04/01/2017 19:42

They were rude

CaraAspen · 04/01/2017 19:43

"ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe

Even if they were talking about you, it might have been information that you shouldn't be privy to in case it worries you.

This is a very ignorant statement.

As patient you are entitled to all information, it's the only way to for make an informed decision about your body and future."

Yes to the above. Unbelievably, in these more enlightened times, patients actually have rights.

Eliza22 · 04/01/2017 19:44

Two polish gentlemen having a beer is NOT the same, at all. Presumably, these nurses are in paid employment and professionals. Not in a caff having a chat!

CaraAspen · 04/01/2017 19:46

Lol @Eliza22

Indeed. That certainly was a poor analogy.

GreatFuckability · 04/01/2017 19:46

YABU. My children go to a welsh school, the staff will speak to the children in welsh in a 3 way conversation with (English speaking) parents and then translate as necessary. It's actually quite difficult to speak to someone you are used to speaking to in one language, in a second language, even if you are fluent in both as the brains pathways are used to one or the other.

MontePulciana · 04/01/2017 19:47

In my last job in the private sector it was made clear to us that speaking infront of customers in any other language except English wouldn't be tolerated (hugely diverse workforce). I'd also think it rude. You just don't do it. At said job you'd speak English out or courtesy. As we would infront of English colleagues. To the point where the conversation would be halted by one person and continued in English when someone who doesn't understand your mother tongue is in your presence. If that makes sense.

Tallulahoola · 04/01/2017 19:50

My point is that there is nothing intimidating about hearing people speak in a foreign language, however rude it is. What do you think they're doing, discussing the best way to murder you?

Sallygoroundthemoon · 04/01/2017 19:50

YANBU. It's incredibly rude to deliberately exclude the third person in the room in that way, not to mention unprofessional.

Original poster
ColouringTheBrain · 04/01/2017 19:53

Tallaulahoola
"This is the second thread I've read this week where an OP has said they felt "intimidated" by people speaking in a foreign language. (The other one was a complaint about Polish men drinking, and was deleted.) I mean WTF? What is intimidating about two nurses having a conversation? I think you need to get a grip."

I didn't read the thread you're talking about, but I asked a genuine question, as I felt uncomfortable, I'd rather not say why I was in there, but as it hospital, I'm sure you can imagine I wasn't feeling great at all which possibly heightened my anxiety, so 'getting a grip' wouldn't be my top priority.

OP posts:
CaraAspen · 04/01/2017 19:53

"GreatFuckability

YABU. My children go to a welsh school, the staff will speak to the children in welsh in a 3 way conversation with (English speaking) parents and then translate as necessary. It's actually quite difficult to speak to someone you are used to speaking to in one language, in a second language, even if you are fluent in both as the brains pathways are used to one or the other."

As other medical staff have already said, using English in a UK hospital is what is required when staff are on duty and in front of patients.

ElornaElephant · 04/01/2017 19:53

Going against the grain, apparently, but I think YANBU - we're explicitly taught not to do this in Nursing school, if we speak another language. It can be worrying or awkward for the patient to not understand what two staff members are saying to each other.

CaraAspen · 04/01/2017 19:54

"Tallulahoola

My point is that there is nothing intimidating about hearing people speak in a foreign language, however rude it is. What do you think they're doing, discussing the best way to murder you?"

Oh dear. How very helpful. Are you playing for laughs?