Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the nurses shouldn't have spoken in a different language in front of me?

485 replies

ColouringTheBrain · 04/01/2017 18:56

If I start by saying I think our NHS staff do a great job Smile I'm not looking to be flamed, I genuinely want to know if I'm BU.

I had to go to the hospital today, the nurse that initially dealt with me was kind and gentle, also in the room was a colleague of hers ( another nurse). The nurse took my bloods, then went to get another machine, it was then that the two nurses started talking to each other in a different language ( I'm not trying to be vague, I just haven't got a clue what language it was). It made me feel really uncomfortable as it was directly in front of me, whether they were talking about me, or what's on TV, or other members of staff I feel is irrelevant, I felt like they shouldn't be doing it in front of a patient. Obviously I didn't say anything, I wasn't feeling the best anyway, but I also felt slightly intimidated I suppose.

AIBU, or should I just accept it as part of the care?

OP posts:
Bitofacow · 04/01/2017 19:26

In England we are used to there being only one language so anything else seems rude.
In lots ( most) other countries people speak multiple languages and move between them easily. Someone from this type of linguistic background would not understand how rude some English people might think this is.

It is a cultural misunderstanding but generally I think English should be used around English speaking patients.

missyB1 · 04/01/2017 19:26

5moreminutes they might well have wondered what the problem was, which is exactly why I explained it to them.

5moreminutes · 04/01/2017 19:26

Cara it is not ridiculous.

You might understand medical jargon but doctors do not take that into account - they'd speak the same way in front of you regardless of your educational level and intelligence and indeed whether your first language was English. Many people will absolutely not understand medical jargon, and of course there is no need for doctors and nurses to take that into account when having conversations between themselves within patients' earshot.

CaraAspen · 04/01/2017 19:26

It seems most medical staff or former medical staff who have contributed, are in the side of the OP.

exexpat · 04/01/2017 19:27

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest, but then I've spent a lot of time living abroad and listening to people speaking other languages.

Quite possibly I have also caused offence/irritation occasionally by lapsing into my native language or another language in front of people who don't speak it, but when you are used to speaking more than one language it is very easy to do without thinking about it.

CaraAspen · 04/01/2017 19:27

...on the side

DotForShort · 04/01/2017 19:27

Exactly, 5moreminutes. I think this odd suspicion of other languages is unique to the U.K.

Of course, a hospital stay is a stressful situation. But I don't think that the setting is of particular relevance.

PrettyBotanicals · 04/01/2017 19:27

Out of interest, is there anyone here who speaks more than one language that says OP is not being unreasonable? Because I highly doubt that, which if I'm correct is very telling!

I speak several languages and I think the OP is being perfectly reasonable not to be comfortable about this situation.

It's unprofessional; if they were discussing work, it should have been in English, if gossip then in private.

CaraAspen · 04/01/2017 19:27

So many people are missing the point, here. Hmmmm

WyfOfBathe · 04/01/2017 19:28

I think YAB a bit U (as a speaker of 2+ languages). If they chat to each other a lot, maybe even outside of work, they're probably used to speaking one language and just forgot to use English in front of a patient. DH and I speak to each other in French at home, and it feels a bit stilted if I speak to him in English - even though it's my first language and we both speak it fluently.

However I understand why you'd be uncomfortable if they had a long conversation in another language and if it happens again you might want to mention it if you have an opportunity to provide feedback. If it was just a few words to one another then I think you're overeating slightly.

WyfOfBathe · 04/01/2017 19:28

overreacting, not overeating!

BBCNewsRave · 04/01/2017 19:28

The other language thing is almost a red herring, really. It's rude to chatter away to each other whilst attending to a patient, full stop. I used to work as a carer and it annoyed me when other cares did this - as if the patient was merely a machine on a production line or something.

Man10 · 04/01/2017 19:28

Out of interest, is there anyone here who speaks more than one language that says OP is not being unreasonable? Because I highly doubt that, which if I'm correct is very telling!

I was brought up in a country where there were many languages and most people spoke two or more. I was taught that it is rude to use a language that not everyone present understands. That probably assumes a conversation in which everyone is potentially involved, if two people are clearly having a private conversation I don't think it matters if they are within hearing distance of others who don't understand them. However I think in OP scenario it was not clear to her that it was a private conversation that was nothing to do with her.

CaraAspen · 04/01/2017 19:29

"DotForShort

Exactly, 5moreminutes. I think this odd suspicion of other languages is unique to the U.K.

Of course, a hospital stay is a stressful situation. But I don't think that the setting is of particular relevance."

You are off on a tangent. Of course it is relevant.

BakeOffBiscuits · 04/01/2017 19:30

YANBU

They were being rude and unprofessional.

CaraAspen · 04/01/2017 19:30

"BBCNewsRave

The other language thing is almost a red herring, really. It's rude to chatter away to each other whilst attending to a patient, full stop. I used to work as a carer and it annoyed me when other cares did this - as if the patient was merely a machine on a production line or something."

Yes. Another very good point.

Bitofacow · 04/01/2017 19:31

Man10 that's interesting, in my experience multilingual cultures move more readily between languages.

MrsSchadenfreude · 04/01/2017 19:32

MeadowHay - I speak a number of languages and I don't think she's being unreasonable. If one nurse had said to you. "Do you mind if I explain this procedure to my colleague in Polish/French/Hindi, because it will be quicker for both of us if I do?" then there would be no problem. But just to gab away in a foreign language is rude. Also the assumption that most Brits are unable to understand irritates me no end. I had some minor surgery in a day clinic last year and the surgeon, who was Ukrainian, asked if I minded if he took an urgent call that he was expecting. I said, not at all. He gabbed away for a few minutes and hung up, whereupon I said to him "I hope your Mum is OK!" I understand some Ukrainian but don't speak it. His face was a picture Grin. I do have a very Slav name (which he had already noted), so a bit of an assumption that I wasn't going to understand.

gunnsgirl · 04/01/2017 19:32

In response to a few comments here:

You would expect to hear medical terminology in a hospital.

How was the OP being nosy? She was party to another language being spoken like it or not. Wasn't choosing to eavesdrop or anything.

If the colleagues were not speaking about the OP there was no need to speak in a different language. It's divisive and rude. If they were speaking about the OP then it's even more unacceptable.

It's a workplace, not a street corner, and furthermore a work place dealing with members of the public. It is very, very rude to speak in a native language with a colleague and used to be a matter for disciplinary action.

dingdongthewitchishere · 04/01/2017 19:32

It's so much easier to speak in your mother tongue. It's completely reasonable for the nurses to use theirs. If we are happy to employ foreigners (as in: non-native English speakers) then they should be free to speak whatever they want with each other. We can only request that they understand and can speak the language of this country when needed.

CaraAspen · 04/01/2017 19:32

"5moreminutes

Cara it is not ridiculous.

You might understand medical jargon but doctors do not take that into account - they'd speak the same way in front of you regardless of your educational level and intelligence and indeed whether your first language was English. Many people will absolutely not understand medical jargon, and of course there is no need for doctors and nurses to take that into account when having conversations between themselves within patients' earshot."

The issue here is NOT the use of medical jargon but the use of another LANGUAGE.

DotForShort · 04/01/2017 19:33

I don't find the setting relevant. Shrug.

If the OP had a genuine concern that the nurses were discussing her medical condition, surely she could have asked them directly. Otherwise, it's none of her business what they were talking about or in which language they were speaking.

NotStoppedAllDay · 04/01/2017 19:33

Very rude and very unprofessional

Eliza22 · 04/01/2017 19:33

Ex nurse here. YANBU.

I started as a student and after 26 yrs was a senior sister. Never, would I myself (nor any of those working with me) have a chit-chat in front of a client. It's NOT acceptable. Having an appropriate conversation is one thing, having a natter about what you did last night/what you're having for tea/who's going out with who is not in. And using a foreign language....I'd report them. I'd just say that you don't want to get anyone into trouble but that you felt very uncomfortable with the situation.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 04/01/2017 19:33

No, they shouldn't have done it.

I speak a few languages and I would find it rude and unsettling.

They were there as medical professionals and as such they should have done everything to make you feel at ease.

Swipe left for the next trending thread