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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to dress my sons the same?

246 replies

ExhaustedandScatterBrained · 03/01/2017 09:56

I have 2 sons aged 2 and 1 (14 months age gap) i generally put them in the same clothes. This is purely so i dont have to find 2 different outfits every morning. Its mainly jeans/joggers with a longsleeved top. A friend has told me i shouldn't be dressing them the same as they are individuals. Are they not still individuals when wearing the same clothes lmao Hmm?

So tell me, aibu to do this whilst they are still young enough to not care what clothes they have on?

OP posts:
millyandmollyandmandy · 04/01/2017 16:34

Haha victoria I think the same. It was always the chav families who dressed their children the same when I was little.

SleepFreeZone · 04/01/2017 16:37

I do know someone who dresses their children exactly the same and also in the same age group of clothes even though one is two and one is four. It's a tiny bit weird to see the smaller one with oversized clothes constantly but I think it's so she doesn't have to rummage around searching for the smaller size of the same top 🤔

Anyway I have an 11 month old and a 4 year old and no I don't iron their clothes and no I don't dress them the same.

kittykittykitty5 · 04/01/2017 16:50

From personal experience, if you have a tribe of children dressing them identically makes things a lot easier when you are out somewhere busy to find them all if they are off playing.

So if we were at a play centre or at a farm or an outdoor play type of place. I was looking for an outfit rather than four different children it is lot quicker as I can remember thinking "that is my child" getting closer and it was a complete strangers child.

It was sort of like a Where's Wally for Mums with more children than hands....

Crabbo · 04/01/2017 17:08

I think it looks really cute. Not sure what them being individuals has to do with it - my dd doesn't get to pick her own clothes anyway so what does it matter if a sibling is wearing the same or not? If you like doing it make the most of it while they're small enough to not care.

grannytomine · 04/01/2017 17:39

Not a problem I would worry about but my grandsons got to an age where the younger one refused to wear the same as his brother. Yes his mother could force him but it was a hassle and eventually she took the hint.

Frankthefrog · 04/01/2017 17:40

I don't see any issue with it, when my 2 boys were tiny I did it now they are older (6 and 3) I don't. They have very different styles and personalities one is into the skater boy look and my littlest just needs clothes he can destroy/get covered in mud/fall at football in.

Do what you want, ignore your friend obviously she's not got enough worries of her own!

NewPapaGuinea · 04/01/2017 17:41

Once they're old enough to decide what they want to wear themselves then crack on I say. Don't really see how it's extra work though. Think how much extra it is to match a pair of socks rather than just grabbing two at random...

Thisisnotreallymyname · 04/01/2017 17:53

First world problems! As if it matters, do what you want either way !

Katarzyna79 · 04/01/2017 17:53

i wouldn't care and its none of anyones business. if they have the time to judge you based on your childrens outfits what does it say about them. Btw all parents choose their young kids outfits so this thing about expressing themselves is b.s

my girls have a lot of same outfits, but they dont necessarily wear them on the same day, it depends if they are washed and hung up. I tend to buy the same because its easier when i have to shop for them,i dont have to faff about pairing up 3 different loads of outfits for each child. i do usually buy my kids wardrobes in bulk though, so i dont have to shop throughout the year.

i think it looks cute too, and before long theyll never want to wear anything matching anyway

Stitchosaurus · 04/01/2017 17:54

My cousin has two boys with 13 months between and then twin boys - she always dresses them all identically. I think it's cute for a Christmas photo or other events but she does it way more than I could be arsed to do!

If I had more than one child, I would probably have some kind of co-ordination going on, rather than full matching. I think it's pretty cute and OP, carry on until your kids complain. Your friend is overreacting.

dansmum · 04/01/2017 17:54

If the clothes are clean..children really dont care if they match at all...so neither should you unless you want a family portrait or are attending a family event. I think it is a bit of an old fashioned idea. My 1yo nevervlasted the day in the same outfit...poo puke food or whatever he rolled in meant several changes a day...so matching outfits was just a futile point anyways! They might be identically dressed until breakfast time...but not ofter.
Cut yourself some slack. Save some time. Worry not. No one worth their salt would judge a mother of 2 under 3's for not being dressed in matching outfits.

strawberrisc · 04/01/2017 17:57

When I was with my ex he dressed the 2 and 3 year olds the same. Made my skin itch.

ginger1976 · 04/01/2017 17:58

My friend does this as she figures if one child goes missing in a play area she can easily remember what he was wearing by looking at the other kid

Grenoble124 · 04/01/2017 18:03

Oh God I hate this sorry. Think my mam used to do it with my brothers.

pollymere · 04/01/2017 18:08

I don't buy clothes that require ironing. Simple. Often a younger sibling wants to dress the same. My brother was six years old than me but I remember wanting to be like him and getting the same trainers as him (mine were pink to his blue though!) I used to love his cast offs too.

Floey · 04/01/2017 18:10

I actually find it really odd when parents put their children in matching clothes, even twins. Why? They are two little people in their own right

Givemestrength12 · 04/01/2017 18:15

Used to get my two to wear the same, and it was easier on a morning rushing to get ready for work/ school etc, if I just had to look for two versions of the same outfit....and lots of their stuff was the same...they didnt mind at all....for years and years....and years :-)

debbiew21 · 04/01/2017 18:30

I wouldn't have an issue with it. It is up to you how you dress them and there's no harm when they are so tiny. Their developing sense of themselves as individuals is not going to be hampered by wearing the same top as each other. I found a gorgeous soft fleece blue jacket, marketed for boys, when my eldest two were toddlers (2 and a half and 1) so I bought them one each- despite the fact that the eldest is a girl! They looked really cute in them.

Jas2004 · 04/01/2017 18:52

I agree with miss Victoria & Floey, When I see siblings dressed the same it does look a bit odd. My sister is five years younger than me and my DM would dress us the same when away on holiday and we weren't happy. Looking back at holiday pictures it looks odd.

swisspookie · 04/01/2017 18:53

If I'm shopping it's sometimes easier if I find something I like, to just get 2 in different sizes. They also fight if one gets something new that isn't the same as his brother. They see it as unfair. It's luck whether they wear them on the same day though.

Batsh1tcrazy · 04/01/2017 18:59

My 10 year old and 7 year old occasionally dress the same...they like the same stuff. Heck I sometimes dress the same as them! We are still individuals just have similar taste x

Busybee1234 · 04/01/2017 19:20

I have a 4 1/2 year gap between my girls. My eldest waited so long for her sibling to arrive that she loves wearing the same outfit as her baby sister. I suspect it is similar in her case as dressing your dolly in the same outfit as you. She even requested a onesie in the same design as one of her baby sister's sleepsuits. They tend to wear the same atm for special occasions, not every day. I'll stop when older DD isn't keen anymore. And there will be a 4 year gap before DD2 fits in the matching hand me down which isn't too bad.

MomOfTwins2 · 04/01/2017 19:27

When my girls were young I used to dress them the same (there is 1 minute difference between them), as it used to get me preferential treatment, eg at airports etc (Oh look! Twins! How adorable!) not that I ever abused that.

Now that they're 8 I still buy them the same outfit, only to stop the "but I wanted the pink one! No, it's mine. But I want it. You can't, it's mine!". Or I buy them the same outfit in different colours and they can fight out who wants what colour. It saves so much hassle. They often wear the same trousers with different t-shirts etc, but most of their outfits are the same, as I said, to stop the arguments. They don't necessarily wear the same outfits at the same time, but I always buy two of each thing.

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO · 04/01/2017 19:28

what about dressing them the same sometimes?

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO · 04/01/2017 19:30

busy my girls are the same, 99% of time they are different but adore it when they wear same dress particularly the younger she loves matching her older sister.

She even requested a onesie in the same design as one of her baby sister's sleepsuits

My goodness that is sooooooo cute

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