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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to dress my sons the same?

246 replies

ExhaustedandScatterBrained · 03/01/2017 09:56

I have 2 sons aged 2 and 1 (14 months age gap) i generally put them in the same clothes. This is purely so i dont have to find 2 different outfits every morning. Its mainly jeans/joggers with a longsleeved top. A friend has told me i shouldn't be dressing them the same as they are individuals. Are they not still individuals when wearing the same clothes lmao Hmm?

So tell me, aibu to do this whilst they are still young enough to not care what clothes they have on?

OP posts:
ChocolateIsMyCaffine · 03/01/2017 14:59

I personally don't like it.

I have boy /girl twins and I can count on one hand the number of times their outfits have been 'co-ordinated' and apart from Xmas elf outfits etc have never worn same thing at the same time. I do sometimes have them both in dungarees though as if we are going to park keeps them warm (no gap between jumper and jeans) and stops them pulling each others trousers down when they grab at each other. but their tops, jumpers, coat, shoes etc all different.

if it is both in jeans and long sleeved top that's normal obv one isn't going to be in shorts and other in a snow suit however if the tops are exactly the same to me it is a bit weird but then if they are too young to care what does it matter.

Trufflethewuffle · 03/01/2017 15:06

My eldest two are only 13 to 14 months apart. They chose an identical outfit once when they were 2 and 3 but they rarely wore it together.

it was more likely that they would have similar outfits such as jeans plus different coloured tops.

Original poster
ExhaustedandScatterBrained · 03/01/2017 15:46

Trufflethewuffle, it is more similar than identical clothing. They do have a few identical outfits and have worn them once or twice. Im more likely to put them in the same jeans with a different top or the same top with different bottoms, same style just different colours.

OP posts:
BIgBagofJelly · 03/01/2017 16:02

I don't like it either, it's obviously more effort to make sure they're dressed the same as opposed to just picking out the first outfit you reach for each of them. I also kind of like the idea of wearing something different to give them just a little extra individual identity.

That said this is such a tiny issue, I assume you're not going to force them into identical outfits once they can talk and tell you what their favourite colour/jumper is etc. Then they might want to wear the same or might have different tastes. So it really isn't going to make much difference at all.

DixieNormas · 03/01/2017 16:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aworldofmyown · 03/01/2017 16:09

cringeworthy bloody hell, they're children Hmm.

I honestly don't think it matters until such a day comes that the children dont like it. My eldest DS is nearly 11 and loves to find a t'shirt that also comes in a size to fit his 18 month old brother!

Kittykatmacbill · 03/01/2017 16:15

19months between my dds, I think it looks a bit weird. Also seems really wasteful surely your youngest is going to wear a lot of 'cascaded' clothes? So you have to look at the same outfit for years or it's really wasteful and you don't.

My pair to wear similar clothes tunics and cords in primary rather than pinky dresses but that is simply because that is what I liked with the older one, so what i have available for younger dd.

Original poster
ExhaustedandScatterBrained · 03/01/2017 16:21

Kittykatmacbill, why would it be wasteful? I have already said i freecycle their clothes, would it be wasteful if i only had one child or if they were opposite genders? I have already addressed the reason ds2 doesn't wear ds1s cast offs. He may wear them in the future, he may not. Why should he only wear his brothers old clothes?

My question was about them wearing the same NOW at the ages they are, I'm starting to get fed up of repeating myself about hand me downs and the clothes they wear in the future.

OP posts:
Notso · 03/01/2017 16:39

So your friend is objecting to them wearing the same kind of clothes? The same kind of clothes nearly every other kid in the country will be wearing?How would she dress them? One in a tuxedo and one in pyjamas Confused

DaisyBD · 03/01/2017 16:40

I'm sure this picture has been posted before...

I have three younger sisters, the youngest being twins who are eight years younger than me. My mother used to make us matching 1970s dresses à la The Sound of Music, and I have photos of us all together, me aged 12, 5ft 8 and 11 stone, with the adorable four-year-old identical twins (and the middle sister) all in the same frock - quite often printed corduroy with lots of gathers.

Please don't, OP.

AIBU to dress my sons the same?
Original poster
ExhaustedandScatterBrained · 03/01/2017 16:47

Notso, she thinks they should be in different brands and styles of tracksuit type outfits rather than similar styles and colours to each other.

Daisy, i wouldn't do that to them. As soon as they develop their own style or say they dont want to wear anything similar then i won't make them. My mum never dressed my sister and i the same as there was a 5 year age gap, my cousin and i however went to parties often in identical outfits. I don't remember ever being bothered by it except knowing that i would soon have 2 of the same dress.

OP posts:
justalittlelemondrizzle · 03/01/2017 17:21

My dd's are 14 months apart too. They're 8 & 9 now though. I've always been 50/50. Sometimes I dressed them the same, sometimes I didn't. Dd2 wears alot of dd1s old stuff that's in good condition so it would be impossible to do it all the time. Nowadays them having the same clothes drives me mad as I have to look at labels instead of just knowing what belongs to who by sight. I often buy the same clothes but in different colours, which they love.
I get asked all the time if they're twins whether they're matching or not 😂

Original poster
ExhaustedandScatterBrained · 03/01/2017 17:46

I get asked if they are twins far more when they are dressed differently than when they are dressed the same. Ds1 is average height for his age, ds2 is very tall for his despite his being 6 weeks early. I think hes on the 91st for height for actual age. They also look nothing alike, one is like their dad with dark hair and brown eyes and the other looks like me with blonde hair and blue eyes.

OP posts:
Notso · 03/01/2017 17:54

she thinks they should be in different brands and styles of tracksuit type outfits rather than similar styles and colours to each other.

That's plain odd. All six of us in this house today are wearing jeans and a long sleeved top, fact when my Mum visited earlier she had the same on too. We all look different and like individuals though.

Original poster
ExhaustedandScatterBrained · 03/01/2017 18:01

Ahh well the answers have been pretty mixed but majority say they don't like it. I think they look quite cute at times when they match. I'll make more of an effort to make sure they don't look the same quite as often as they currently do.

OP posts:
MrsMarigold · 03/01/2017 18:05

My DC aged 4 and 5 wouldn't be seen dead in the same thing. Also they chose what they wear including what's bought for them.

MuppetsChristmasCarol · 03/01/2017 18:07

Op - if you think it's cute, then continue as you are! You're not harming anyone and it is just a matter of personal preference and doesn't matter if I or anyone else dislikes it or not. As long as your kids are dressed appropriately for the weather that's all that matters.

AverageJosephine · 03/01/2017 18:12

I thought this was so cheesy and looked rubbish.

Then I put my 1 and 2 yr old girls in matching dresses they got as a gift. They were delighted and looked so bloody cute! Now they have matching dungaree sets:) I love them dressed the same. Lol!

CarlitosWay · 03/01/2017 18:23

OP, please don't start changing how you dress your kids based on random opinions on the internet. Everyone likes different things and it would be very boring if they didn't.

justalittlelemondrizzle · 03/01/2017 18:38

Mine do look the same in fairness and dd2 has caught up in height to dd1. We joke that next time someone asks we will go along with it. It's almost daily and gets a bit tiresome.

Dress them however you (and the boys) like. Everyone has different taste but in this instance it's only yours that matters😆

Astro55 · 03/01/2017 18:52

You're not harming anyone

Except the kids

its only yours that matters

No it isn't - the children are people too

BIgBagofJelly · 03/01/2017 19:06

Why should he only wear his brothers old clothes?

Errr because he's a one year old and he obviously doesn't mind either way! I don't see anything wrong with buying new clothes if you want to but it's obviously for your benefit rather than his!

Even though lots of us didn't like it personally (myself included) I don't think most people thought it was a huge deal for tiny kids - they're very unlikely to notice or care at this age, just do whatever you want.

Original poster
ExhaustedandScatterBrained · 03/01/2017 19:10

Astro55 how exactly am i harming my children?!

OP posts:
Original poster
ExhaustedandScatterBrained · 03/01/2017 19:13

Bigagofjelly, you clearly have missed the several posts that my 1 year old cannot wear his brothers old clothes... they are not weather appropriate. For gods sake how many times do i have to repeat myself??

OP posts:
IWantATardis · 03/01/2017 19:22

I'm really not seeing how putting DC in matching clothes harms them.

Especially when the DC in question aren't complaining about the matching clothes.