AIBU to dress my sons the same?

[ExhaustedandScatterBrained]

I have 2 sons aged 2 and 1 (14 months age gap) i generally put them in the same clothes. This is purely so i dont have to find 2 different outfits every morning. Its mainly jeans/joggers with a longsleeved top. A friend has told me i shouldn't be dressing them the same as they are individuals. Are they not still individuals when wearing the same clothes lmao ?

So tell me, aibu to do this whilst they are still young enough to not care what clothes they have on?

That reminds me of my mum making herself a dress in the early 70s, with crocheted edging on the neck and sleeves. I was desperate for her to make me one the same and very disappointed that she wasn't prepared to spend hours crocheting identical edgings.

I bought the odd matching tshirt when my kids were little, but never really dressed them alike. Oddly enough they seem to wear almost identical clothing now...black hoodies, black jeans, black tshirts...

I'd have raised hell if my DM even considered trying that on when I was a child (DSis is 5 years younger).

But some kids seem to like it and you say you'll stop if one of them objects.

There is dressing the same and dressing the same, I don't think I'd notice if two little boys had the same trousers and sweaters on but I might notice if it were older children. Iyswim. I really dont think it matters a jot.

I really don't like it when little boys are dressed as 'little' posh men with floppy hair, polo shirts and hunting jackets and I really don't like little girls dressed in older girl style clothing.....but so bloody what. Dress your kids in whatever you want be it headbands on bald babies or the mumsnet favourite dresses on boys.

Didn't it used to be fashionable to have photoshoots where the whole family would wear jeans and white shirts. I think that's incredibly naff and far more cringe'y than two toddlers dressed the same. Not that it matters.

A little my friend dose this it costs a fortune
Two coats in slightly Diffrent sizes two of eveything when you could be passing things down

If you shop in the same shops (like i do) even if you hand things down then get bigger things for the older one then they look the same anyway. I always get the boys coats from Gap. I pass down the older one to ds2 then get a new one for ds1. They are sometimes varied on colour but are the same style all the time. I get lined trousers and long sleeved t-shirts from Boden. I pass down and then buy bigger ones. So they are both always wearing the same lined trousers and slight variations on the same striped long sleeve t-shirt. So they look the same anyway. I think it's cute. They look similar as well so it's like those little Russian dolls. DS2 has ringlets halfway down his back tho.

What happens if the youngest doesn't like the hand me downs?

Then they get a job and buy their own clothes, chimney sweeping can be very lucrative these days 😉

My younger DS doesn't seem to mind, often he'll have had an eye on a particular t-shirt of DS1's for a while before he gets it, but he's only 4 I expect this will become more of a problem when he's older.

What I'm finding more of a problem is their different body shapes and them being almost in the same size of clothes already.

Hand me downs don't always work for mine with 16 months between them. The older one has a winter birthday, the younger one a spring birthday. Older one has red hair, is pale and really tall he is 6 but wearing 8-9 year clothes his legs are long and skinny and he grows really fast.
Younger one has light brown hair, tans even through sunblock is either slightly behind his age in clothes or true to size, his legs are short and he grows quite slowly.
I don't have tonnes of room to store clothes waiting to be grown into especially when there's a chance a good chunk of it won't be any good. Coats, shorts, t-shirts and sweatshirts seem to work well, jeans and long sleeved tops not so much.
There are some things that DC4 covets from DC3's wardrobe though.

I have to admit I hated being dressed the same as my sister as a kid. I imagine she hated it more as in 6 years younger. The main thing I hated is that I was either dressed the same or in hand me downs which sometimes looks in photos that i had the same outfit for donkeys years!

The difference in sizes (and my laziness) is why i only shop in certain shops. Biden and Gap seem to fit both ds's but Next clothes don't fit ds2 as his thighs are humungous. My boys birthdays are a week apart so i thought fist pump to seasonally appropriate clothes. But ds2 is such a bigger child that he didn't correspond to ds1s clothes from the right season. Now they are exactly 1 year apart in size and seasonally right again, altho there is actually 2 yrs between them.

What happens to the hand me downs... i freecycle so someone else gets use of them. Ds1s jeans now will get kept (if good condition) for ds2 next year as they will (i hope) fit and will be season appropriate. They don't have to match. Today they have similar styles on but one has a plain top and the other stripes. They aren't identical all the time. I think maybe i worded it wrong and people are under the impression i make them wear identical clothing all the time.

Also if i choose to buy new for ds2 that is my choice, i dont buy ridiculously expensive clothes because of how fast they grow and how quickly their clothes get stained.

Not getting the defensiveness

Your first email said "generally put them in the same clothes"

You're now contradicting yourself. But I'm not sure why it matters, not everyone does it but it doesn't make it "wrong".

I'm not getting defensive over people saying they dont like it, thats fine as that was what i asked for peoples opinions on. What i am getting defensive about is the judgements made on my buying new clothes for both and being told its wasteful or that i am causing my children harm by dressing them in the same stuff. My children are happy and healthy and far from being harmed nor will they ever be forced to do anything they do not wish to as they grow

A meal has been made out of this topic.

JaxingJump, i agree. I've read people's opinions and taken them onboard. I never expected to be judged on things not mentioned in my op that people have somehow surmised.
Does anyone know how/if i can get it closed?

Don't know if you can unless it's gone completely poisonous. Just back away slowly with your hands in the air.....

Myself and non-identical twin were dressed the same despite our protests. Mum said it was easier and cheaper.

Then at secondary school we had to wear a uniform so 250 of us had to wear the same. Hated, hated, hated it.

It won't be doing them any serious damage but be prepared for them to protest loudly when they become old enough to express a preference. After all, they are individuals and they may do things differently simply to demonstrate this.

If people hate seeing kids wearing matching outfits how do you cope with school uniform?

I think having to wear the same as hundreds of others for 15 whole years is much worse for a child's individuality than occasional wearing of cutesy outfits for small children within the same family! especially when said children are too young to care!

Backing away it is then haha.

Thank you for opinions, i shall continue as i am for now and as soon as one or the other expresses displeasure it shall stop.

OP, that sounds sensible as it isn't worth the battle when they object.

I think some people have been a bit OTT but don't worry about it. When I had my first baby a long time ago a very wise midwife told me to always remember that a mother's place is in the wrong but just get on with it. It is so true, whatever you do someone will tell you that you are wrong so all you can do is get on with it.

I think having to wear the same as hundreds of others for 15 whole years is much worse for a child's individuality

One is enforced - so no choice - but no choose outside school is just as bad

Kids now use hair eyebrows bags and shoes to express themselves