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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to dress my sons the same?

246 replies

ExhaustedandScatterBrained · 03/01/2017 09:56

I have 2 sons aged 2 and 1 (14 months age gap) i generally put them in the same clothes. This is purely so i dont have to find 2 different outfits every morning. Its mainly jeans/joggers with a longsleeved top. A friend has told me i shouldn't be dressing them the same as they are individuals. Are they not still individuals when wearing the same clothes lmao Hmm?

So tell me, aibu to do this whilst they are still young enough to not care what clothes they have on?

OP posts:
FourToTheFloor · 03/01/2017 10:45

Mine are nearly 5 years apart so hard to dress the same although both have a bunny on their top today which I personally found cute.

Manumission · 03/01/2017 10:46

My wrist action was obviously lacking. Too late now.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 03/01/2017 10:49

My mum used to do this with me and my sister, not every day but for special occasions. We hated it. It did feel like we were lumped together as the same person. We had the same haircut for years too. ☹️

SomethingLikeFlying · 03/01/2017 10:51

I sometimes dress mine the same. They are 1,3 and 5.

Oh but that means they can't be "individuals" Grin....

When they're little it does not matter because they do not care. It's more of a thing for the parents because they think it's cute... which it is!Smile

LivingOnTheDancefloor · 03/01/2017 10:53

I find matching outfits cute Blush
I remember my sister and I having the same clothes sometimes, it never bothered me.

IWantATardis · 03/01/2017 10:53

I have 3 boys (5, 3 and tiny baby).

I do hand clothes down, but if I'm buying new clothes for the 5 & 3 yr old at the same time, I will typically buy them identical or similar clothes in different sizes. They've the same colouring, similar tastes, so generally if an item of clothing suits one it'll suit the other too.

But I don't go out of my way to dress them in matching outfits. And they're both free to pick their own clothes from their drawers (school uniform excepted) if they don't want to wear what I've picked out that day. And I don't particularly care if people think it's weird if, say, they both want to wear their matching Spider-Man jumpers when we go out to the park.

Original poster
ExhaustedandScatterBrained · 03/01/2017 10:54

dailymaillazyjournos - no, i don't redress them to match.

My friend is under the impression it's what i do everyday, it isn't. She's seen them in the same or similar colours, both wearing stripes or even the same top. They do often wear completely different outfits too.

Im not bothered either way about them matching or not, they are just clothes that get covered in food and drink at their ages. As they get older they can chose what to wear themselves, i will never force them to wear the same stuff.

I never realised that some people were really opposed to it though Confused

OP posts:
2ndSopranos · 03/01/2017 10:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notso · 03/01/2017 10:55

Two of mine have a 16 month age gap. They have some matching items because they both chose the same thing or because they were a bargain. Other than their coats and school uniform they don't wear the same things at the same times.
As pp said it seems so much more hassle to have them in matching outfits. WRT to the individuals thing, mine do get lumped together, in the extended family they have become 'the boys' even though I have three boys and a girl it's always DD, DS1 and 'the boys'. I think dressing them the same would reinforce that. Also mine have totally different colouring and suit different things.

As for ironing, I iron nearly everything including children's clothes. I've tried not doing it but was sick of the crumpled look.

Bluntness100 · 03/01/2017 10:57

Ok. You kind of changed it from something you generally do, to they often wear different clothes...I love it when people ask a question, many folks say yeah I wouldn't do this and then the poster says, yeah I don't do it that much either,,,😂

Original poster
ExhaustedandScatterBrained · 03/01/2017 11:00

I generally do at the start of the day (although not every day) but by the end they are in very different outfits. Would that not count as often? Or would you just like to call me an outright liar?

OP posts:
Notso · 03/01/2017 11:01

They do often wear completely different outfits too.

That's not really the impression you gave in your first post. Reading your subsequent posts it sounds like you hardly dress them the same at all Hmm

Notso · 03/01/2017 11:06

Did you mean the same clothes as in both wearing jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt rather than one in joggers and hoody and one in jeans and a short sleeved t-shirt?
I imagined completely matching outfits from your first post and thread title.

InsertUsernameHere · 03/01/2017 11:10

This made me smile as my DS inevitably end up choosing the same winter coat, hoodie or whatever if they go shopping and choose themselves; whereas I would always choose something quite different. I feel compelled to tell people it is their choice. I find it a bit of a pain because it take longer to sort the washing as I have to read the size label to work out which belongs to who. For you OP when they are of an age to express an opinion go with that (and it might be they want to match!) until then - what ever suits you. (I can see the benefit of being able to spot them in a crowd - I shall remember that when I'm slightly embarrassed my two (much older) boys are matching.)

Original poster
ExhaustedandScatterBrained · 03/01/2017 11:12

Notso, yes. I did say in my op ots jeans/joggers and a long sleeved top. Somedays they do happen to match perfectly. Majority of the time its just similar colours/styles. Today they are in stripey tops (which are exactly the same) and blue jeans, which are very different styles. By the end of the day though ds2, who has just turned 1, will be in something completely different.

OP posts:
YoHoHoandabottleofTequila · 03/01/2017 11:13

I don't iron my children's clothes or own a tumble drier! Somehow we survive...Hmm

gincamelbak · 03/01/2017 11:14

I don't iron my own clothes, never mind my toddler's.

I have a friend who matches clothes for her two oldest children, same sex. She has just had a third to match with. I think she just buys a new set in the bigger size so hands down the smaller size. The older one will stop being matched now as they are at school.

They don't have a massive wardrobe, so the likelihood of matching would be high anyway.

I don't see any problem with matching. Not something I would do but mostly down to being uncoordinated clothes wise in general.

MyNewBearTotoro · 03/01/2017 11:15

I used to often be dressed the same as my sisters and I never minded it. My mum had a dress that matched a dress I had and I LOVED it when we matched. I've never dressed my eldest 2 DC the same (although DS does wear some of DD's girly hand me downs around the house) but recently had twins and I've been gifted some matching outfits so I expect sometimes I will dress them identically (although right now that feels far too organised!).

Some people think it's cute and some don't but I don't think it will compromise an infant'a individuality unless you insist on picking matching outfits every day even when they're old enough to pick out their own clothes. In a few years they'll be at school in uniform and dressed the same as 29 other kids in their class and I don't think anyone would worry the children will all be seen as the same by their teacher - personality will determine who your children are and, as they get older, what they wear but until they show a preference who cares what they wear!

idontlikealdi · 03/01/2017 11:26

I used to dress my twins the same - it actually made it easier to keep tabs on them in the park etc as you only had to look for one outfit twice

Now, they choose, sometimes yes, sometimes no. They have never had the same coat or shoes - often same style but different colours.

If there is something character based or similar I still buy two as undoubtedly they would want to wear the same thing at the same time.

At school one wears a pinafore and one a skirt and different hair ribbons so people have half a hope of telling them apart.

llangennith · 03/01/2017 11:38

I can't imagine buying them matching clothes let alone dressing them identically. Not something I'd do.

Underbrella · 03/01/2017 12:02

I'm not a fan of matching siblings. I have boy twins & they were never dressed the same - looks a bit odd/ twee and much more work imo. I had a pile of trousers & a pile of tops (all non-ironed) & they each wore what was next on the pile. Over time I developed preferences for certain clothes on a particular child but we didn't completely separate clothes per child til they were around 4 maybe? Now I buy equivalents - so a t-shirt each with a different design.

My dc3&4 are girls with a 5 year gap. The elder does ask for matching outfit to the baby on occasion so I feel a bit torn since it's her choice but it's not something I want to do.

Muldjewangk · 03/01/2017 12:27

The reason I don't like matching clothes for children is because the youngest one inherits the same outfit from their older brother/sister.

Astro55 · 03/01/2017 12:32

Yuck! I hate it - I hated my mom doing it - I have twins and they wear different styles every day - even when I'm brought matching - it's horrible thing to do to a child.

Inevitably one will like it and the other won't - then who do you chose to please? my older sis ever time

Astro55 · 03/01/2017 12:33

I've been brought - I.e other people think it's cute/ the done thing

DeadGood · 03/01/2017 12:37

"The thoughts of having to find two matching outfits at 7am makes me weep.

The thoughts of ironing toddler clothes makes me roar. Literally nobody knows or cares you've done it but yourself as they're snotted on and crumpled within 5 mins anyway."

This