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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

U to make son's girlfriend cook?

115 replies

WearyM · 02/01/2017 19:06

I have my ds and his gf staying at the moment, they've been here nearly a week, and we have another week to go...they'e both 25 by the way. I'm a nurse, and work shifts and I am flipping tired. Am I unreasonable in asking her and ds to make the meals for the rest of the time they are here?

OP posts:
ILoveDolly · 02/01/2017 19:07

I think it might be ok for them to take this on? Have you broached the subject?
Did he ever cook at home before?

Heirhelp · 02/01/2017 19:07

Your title is confusing. I would make them both cook, with emphasis being on him not her.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 02/01/2017 19:07

Goady thread title - why should it be her (your guest) and not your DS? Sexist much?

Paulat2112 · 02/01/2017 19:07

Nothing wrong with asking, as long as you ask them both.

QuandryQueen · 02/01/2017 19:08

Why her? Why not both?

I'd say to them tonight- right I'm on shifts tues-fri so you two will need to sort out the evening meal for all of us and I'll do sat

MillionToOneChances · 02/01/2017 19:08

You should ask you son to sort meals. Whether he divides the work with her is up to them.

WearyM · 02/01/2017 19:09

He is not a great cook. He eats heated up pies and jars of pickles when he's on his own I suspect Confused

OP posts:
ShowMePotatoSalad · 02/01/2017 19:10

Did you mean to be sexist in your thread title?

Of course they should be cooking. Just ask them to.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 02/01/2017 19:11

He'd better learn thenWink

Just ask him to cook and leave it to him to involve her. I wouldn't ask a guest to cook tbh.

BIWI · 02/01/2017 19:11

I wouldn't even ask! I'd tell them that you need help and that they need to cook.

SaveYourTearsForYourPillow · 02/01/2017 19:11

Regardless of cooking abilities if mil said this to me and not dp I'd be very Hmm

Tell your son that he and his girlfriend need to sort out some meals themselves. What they do from there is up to them.

laureywilliams · 02/01/2017 19:11

Maybe you could 'make' him cook?

ShowMePotatoSalad · 02/01/2017 19:12

Weary so that means the women in his life are responsible for feeding him healthy food?

If he wants to eat pies etc because he can't cook then that's his problem to resolve. I'm only 3 years older than him. The idea that I couldn't look after myself and tend to my own needs is frankly laughable and infantilising.

MarcelineTheVampire · 02/01/2017 19:12

Goady thread title- completely unreasonable to ask her IMO.

You should ask your son and then if she chooses to cook for him then that is her choice!!

WearyM · 02/01/2017 19:12

Asking her to cook was the bigger question I suppose, seen as she's more of a guest.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 02/01/2017 19:13

I'd be utterly pissed off if my MIL asked me to cook and not my husband. If she asked him I would of course help but it should be your son cooking. Or ask them to go and get and pay for fish and chips.

Grindelwaldswand · 02/01/2017 19:13

She should definitely be cooking !! I wouldn't need to be asked to cook of it were me , heck i even vacuum and dust other people's houses when i stay and do the dishes Wink its common courtesy to help out

CocktailQueen · 02/01/2017 19:14

Totally wrong to expect your son's gf to cook.

Why doesn't your incompetent adult son cook?? Yabvvu.

You don't need a vulva to operate an oven.

Allthewaves · 02/01/2017 19:14

Ask them both to cook.

NerrSnerr · 02/01/2017 19:15

Grindel shouldn't it be the OP's son doing the cooking?

Do you ask people your visiting if it's ok to hoover before rooting in their cupboards for cleaning stuff?

Scabetty · 02/01/2017 19:15

A 25yo who can't cook a basic meal is not independent. He may surprise you.

CocktailQueen · 02/01/2017 19:15

But perhaps you should have considered ground rules before they came to stay, such as who cooks and how often. Saves you getting cross about it now.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 02/01/2017 19:15

No, they're both guests. Equally. Presuming your son doesn't live with you anymore.

BrollyXmas · 02/01/2017 19:16

You should ask them both to cook. I would be quite nervous cooking for my mil (as I'm not a great cook), but would be happy to team cook!

SuburbanRhonda · 02/01/2017 19:16

I even vacuum and dust other people's houses when i stay

Wtf?