U to make son's girlfriend cook?

[WearyM]

I have my ds and his gf staying at the moment, they've been here nearly a week, and we have another week to go...they'e both 25 by the way. I'm a nurse, and work shifts and I am flipping tired. Am I unreasonable in asking her and ds to make the meals for the rest of the time they are here?

Is there a reason why you were doubtful about asking them to cook? I often cook for my adult DC when the are home from Uni but if I don't fancy it I just tell them without a moments thought.

If they have partners staying over I'm happy to ask them to help out too. If they all have their partners staying then it ends up that there are ten adults in the house. I don't think any of them would expect me to clean up after them or cook for them all the time.

The whole idea of 2 grown adults sitting on the sofa waiting for you to come home and feed them is weird quite honestly. 2 weeks is a long visit, I'd expect them both to muck in and do whatever needs doing.

In all fairness, maybe the lad's father failed to teach him to cook? ;)

I'm really concerned by the title. Even if you now think it was ill advised, it suggests a deep fundamental sexism that you need to work on if you want a decent relationship with your son's girlfriend. Ask him to cook. He's your son.

Your son should be cooking.

Would you expect him to cook for her family if they were staying at her house? No, you bloody well wouldn't.

I hate this everyday sexism.

In all fairness, maybe the lad's father failed to teach him to cook? ;)

Cheers for the feedback all

If your DS is a shit cook, that's your failing.

Make him cook. Then he'll learn.

You don't make your guest cook instead of lazy family members just because the guest owns a vagina.

I hate this everyday sexism.

(Not just at this comment, I'm just using it as an example).

Snap and I don't think that there is anything wrong with picking each other up on it but I think that we do have to remember that most of us have been socialised to think this way, so those reminders should come with a little kindness and humour.

I hope they've at least been doing the washing up?

My mother is a brilliant cook and my father actually as well.

I'm mediocre, at best ;)
And it isn't because they didn't try. We all have our talents. You say he can follow a recipe? Seems good enough to me.

Or just get him a rice cooker. One of the useful ones where you can cook rice and steam veggies (a d fish etc) at the same time, very useful imo.

Why didn't you teach him to cook?

I dont think op memt it sexist. I read it as his gf (who is a guest and visiting) not his gf (because she has a vagina) jeez ppl

Boosh, why would anyone expect a guest (gf) cook over someone in their family home (son)?

If the GF normally cooks in their home, there is no problem asking her to cook, she might be more than happy to cook but worried about invading your space/taking over the kitchen.

As others have said, your DS should be responsible for cooking. If he is a terrible cook then part of that is on you. Very sexist.

I wouldn't "ask" them to cook I'd just go to work and assume they'll feed themselves. They're 25 years of age! If you're going out to work they should be making you something to eat never mind expecting you to run around after them after a hard day. Wouldn't happen on my shift.

I find the concept of people having to be taught to cook by their mothers parents a bit odd. It's not exactly difficult and there are dozens of easy to cook cook books and youtube tutorials if needed. One of my 4 DC was never very receptive to my offers to teach him to cook and when it was his turn to 'cook' when he lived at home he would produce tasty but VERY simple meals. He left home six years ago and still only cooks a limited range of meals. I don't see this as my problem or my husbands

I dont think op memt it sexist. I read it as his gf (who is a guest and visiting) not his gf (because she has a vagina) jeez ppl

That's how I read it too.

Wait. Do they really wait for you to come home from a 12 hour shift and start cooking? Two 25 year olds? And they relax on the couch while they wait? You need to pull your son aside and have a word or two about taking liberties. He's a guest but he's less of a guest than his girlfriend is. And any degree of guest should be pulling their finger out and contributing to household labour if it's a 2 week stay.

"He is not a great cook"
And whose fault is that?? Mum that cooks for him then asks his girlfriend to cook for him!!?
Honestly

If he is a terrible cook then part of that is on you

That's ridiculous. At 25 if you are a terrible cook then it's 100 percent your own fault.

If he is a terrible cook then part of that is on you. Very sexist.

yes, it is very sexist to blame a woman for a man's inadequate cooking skills. He's 25, not 18. He's had plenty of time as an adult to teach himself.

My 18 year old student son is an accomplished cook. He has cooked or assisted pretty much every day since he's been home for the holidays.

However, I have not taught him any kitchen skills whatsoever - his dad has. Pasta and the odd pudding are my limits. I had to google how to boil an egg over the holidays

I like to think I am redressing the balance somewhere.

Why has no one taught this 25 year old to cook, I'd be ashamed if that was my son.
And before anyone says anything dp started living with me when we were 22 (straight from parents homes) and I've taught him to cook because mil spent his entire life telling him he was useless, had to show him he is loved and capable. Our son will be taught to cook. But I agree both guests should cook not just the girlfriend

Ask him to cook, then she can see what a waste of space he is and run for the hills. Both you and his dad failed to teach him and he's failed to learn as an adult.

I need to get off my high horse now and get a children's cookery book ordered for my boys aged 8&5!