U to make son's girlfriend cook?

[WearyM]

I have my ds and his gf staying at the moment, they've been here nearly a week, and we have another week to go...they'e both 25 by the way. I'm a nurse, and work shifts and I am flipping tired. Am I unreasonable in asking her and ds to make the meals for the rest of the time they are here?

You need to tell them they must cater for themselves. If they think to provide for you, then that's good...if they don't....don't have her or him again.

When I stayed with DH in his mate's house, his mate worked very long hours....of course we cooked evening meals and made sure there was a plate for him, waiting for him. It's very basic.

If they are not working whilst staying, I would tell them they need to do chores, including cooking. No way should they be sat on their arses on the sofa when you get home from work, unless they've done the housework, cooked the meal etc. Are they waiting for you to get in to do meals? If so, I'd be getting a takeout for one!

You should have bought him a mans recipe book for Christmas 😬

I don't think it's fair to tell her to cook she is probably still getting used to your house and would hate to go through cupboards etc. But you should definitely tell him to make sure he feeds the 2 of them whether that be takeaways or cooking.

My partner is 30yr old homeowner that has always claimed to be able to cook but I know when I'm busy he stretches as far as making himself cheese on toast! Our biggest arguments are the fact he doesn't naturally think oh it's 1pm she's not started lunch I better start.

I left him with the kids on the run up to Xmas as he was off work and I wasn't and when I rang him and asked what the kids had for dinner one day he said a yoghurt the next day he said a greggs sausage roll!!

I don't think it's fair to tell her to cook she is probably still getting used to your house and would hate to go through cupboards etc.

This

People can learn to cook. She might just feel uncomfortable cooking in a home that isn't her own. From stepping on your toes to getting something wrong.

What would you usually cook? Why don't you suggest batch making something together and portioning unit up for you each to eat when you're ready to. Start with a bolognese or a curry.

What on earth is a man's cookbook?

I think you might be missing a little sarcasm, curses

I don't see the title as unreasonable, as in the first post OP did say about asking them both to cook. I read it as more "I can tell my son to cook for himself but wibu if I also asked his gf to cook?" Obviously OP isn't bu to ask/make her son cook but wanted clarification on asking/getting her DIL to cook.

Christ, people love looking for a sexist argument.

No, ywnbu to ask them both to cook.

Also, why are parents being bashed (particularly the mother, despite ibu to automatically expect women to cook) for not 'teaching' someone how to cook. Some people don't need 'taught'; some just don't get cooking; some aren't there to be taught and some just don't want to learn. By the time a child is old enough to be self sufficient I'd assume their parent-led lessons are over with, even if they aren't the best at them.
I learned on my own - no one taught me.
My OH was a rubbish cook because, when living at home, he worked shifts and never prepared a full meal for himself so only went as far as oven heating something - again, not something his mother neglected to do.

You shouldn't ask her to cook as she is a guest but you should tell your son to cook.

Genuine laugh out loud at the posters outraged at OP's sexism, while also blaming her for her son's lack of cooking skills.

I wouldn't ask a guest to do anything in the house, including cooking. I would form an opinion of a guest who didn't offer to help though especially if I were working and guest was not but it wouldn't be my final judgement - just would think better of a guest who offered to cook a meal or just did it as a surprise. .

I would ask/tell my son to cook/clean/whatever. no problem.

My mum was a terrible cook and hated every minute that she had to do it. I loved cooking and still do, but she didn't teach me. I taught myself! Can't believe the blatant sexism here, when that's the exact thing that the OP is being accused of!

Yep up to BOTH parents to have taught him to

Cook
Consider others needs
Not be lazy and expect to be waited on!

Seriously if me OR my brother or sister were visiting home and didn't shift our arses to help, WITHOUT needing asked ESPECIALLY if parents were working during the visit, BOTH parents would have kicked our butts!

When my FIFTEEN year old daughter goes to see gran first thing she does is make gran a cuppa and ask if there's anything she needs done. Someone ten years older who's left home and is presumably running their own home on a daily basis should know better.

I was taught that if I go and stay with relatives, I help around the house no matter what. I think everyone appreciates a little consideration, specially hosts.
Point is why has it not occchred to his 25 year old brain that his mum is working long hours and he should sort the dinner/work around the house? I don't think the girl friend should be asked. She is a guest. It's up to her to choose if she wants to help around a bit. But your 25 year old son has no excuse for not doing it unless asked. Is his father this lazy too?