To think DD is not entirely to blame for this?

[luckylucky24]

I got up with DD 14 months this morning and whilst sat on my knee she knocked over an almost full cup of coffee left there by DH the day before, (definitely was him as noone else drinks it.) It went over DH's mac which is looking broken. We won't be able to afford to replace it anytime soon.
He is understandably devastated and is blaming the baby. Not himself at all for the two cold cups of coffee left around.
AIBU to say he is partly to blame for leaving full cups around?

I wouldn't blame the baby, as she is a baby. I wouldn't blame him for leaving the coffee about as that is essentially victim blaming.

If anyone is to blame it's probably the OP.

If that had been hot and it had gone all over her, he would have got an interesting reaction from the hospital and HV if he had proclaimed it "her fault."

Definitely NOT the baby's fault! Mostly his fault, for leaving a full cup and a Mac within easy spilling distance of each other. And maybe a little your fault for not watching baby when close to both.

I don't know how to word things without sounding like I'm offending. I just donthink understand how a baby can be to blame in any way. It's kind of worrying. If you have a babyear who into everything
Then it all needs to be out of her reach

2 adults capable of moving a cup/mac v baby

I cant imagine who is to blame

zippey
I wouldn't blame him for leaving the coffee about as that is essentially victim blaming.
If anyone is to blame it's probably the OP.

Very funny, zippey.
This is why in your office your are banned from having food and drink at your desk by the IT Crowd. Even grown adults have accidents.

What does blaming a baby even look like? Did she get any money for her first birthday? Perhaps she could use that to help pay for the damage?

This is a good excuse to have a chat with him about being a lazy sod and leaving full cups around and fragile items in reach especially as DD will be cruising alone very soon.

What does blaming a baby even look like?

Something like this Jaime

Victim blaming.,!!!!!!!! I've heard it all now.

1. Hes not a victim. Its a broken laptop. To use that word is a bloody insult.
2. He is to blame. Its called taking responsibility aka being an adult.

Not covered for accidental damage sounds like he has cover with Apple. That doesn't mean it's not also covered under your general household insurance. Check your policy.

Not the baby's fault!!

I'd blame dh for leaving it there. But I'd also blame myself for not noticing them and moving them myself - DD is 17 months and whenever we go in a room I do a quick scan of the room and move anything hazardous.

Not the baby's fault. It was an accident. Although I'd say it's equally down to both of you. His foolishness for leaving it there and personally if I'd have sat down with a cup that was within reach of my baby, I'd have simply moved it out of reach. You chose to sit there, the cup was there first presumably?

Victim blaming.

zippy are you the ops dp?

I completely agree with Laguna, you really sound like you agree with him OP and that he's right to be behaving like this. I actually hope this is a wind up.

The baby was the proximate cause but the root cause was him leaving cups of coffee around over night.

Victim blaming?! what??

It is your DHs fault. There is no other interpretation - babies cannot be blamed for knocking something over, they have no understanding of action and consequence. Your DH is lazy for leaving a coffee cup lying around next to his computer - his fault entirely.

Think it was your fault really, he left the laptop and cup overnight yes, but he left them on a table that I assume your dd can't reach. When you sat down with her and put her in striking distance you should have checked it was clear. Surely all dangerous and breakable things are usually put out of reach on A high surface? So you should check said high surface. I would be really annoyed with you.

OP judging by your responses it sounds as if you are also blaming the baby.
Saying she's destructive & could see the cup sounds like you believe she's tipped it over his Mac on purpose, she's 14months ffs!

Both you and dp need to grow up and stop blaming an innocent baby. You should be thanking your lucky stars that it wasn't hot coffee and that the baby wasn't hurt.

This is either a wind up or you both need parenting classes. You joint role is to protect your child amongst other things, nurture etc not blame her or each other for the consequences of doing what babies do

(If) the drink had been hot. And Dd got hurt and you had to take her a&e. And it was said Dd knocked it over she's destructive. That would not go down well at all.

Both adults are to blame.

You are blaming DH. He is blaming the baby.

In fact, you both need to learn how to toddler proof your home before the baby is seriously hurt. No drinks/cups/bowls/cutlery/glasses left lying about.

I can't believe both the adults are squabbling over how the mac is broken but neither seems concerned that you have a baby who is growing rapidly and is able to grab hold of things left within reach.

It's BOTH your responsibility to ensure that your baby can't get hold of anything which can do her harm. She will be climbing soon and nothing will be safe.

Maybe his last day off work could be spent with you looking at all potential hazards in your home.

Is blaming a baby even a thing ???
He sounds like an arsehole

Agree it's yours and dh's fault. You for not supervising dd when she was on your knee (what if the cups had been hot and fell on dd? The blame game would have been pointless as you might have had a hurt baby) and him for leaving both mac and coffee their in the first place.