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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DD is not entirely to blame for this?

161 replies

luckylucky24 · 02/01/2017 10:19

I got up with DD 14 months this morning and whilst sat on my knee she knocked over an almost full cup of coffee left there by DH the day before, (definitely was him as noone else drinks it.) It went over DH's mac which is looking broken. We won't be able to afford to replace it anytime soon.
He is understandably devastated and is blaming the baby. Not himself at all for the two cold cups of coffee left around.
AIBU to say he is partly to blame for leaving full cups around?

OP posts:
ShowMePotatoSalad · 02/01/2017 10:52

Of course it's not her fault. How is a 14 month old supposed to know she's not supposed to knock over a mug? 14 month olds don't understand cause and effect, do they?

Your DH shouldn't be leaving hot drinks where a 14 month old can reach them. We have a 14 month old too and hot drinks go out of reach because he will go straight for them.

Your DH is now sulking is he? He needs to have a bloody word with himself.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 02/01/2017 10:52

I couldnt see what the fuss was about, I read 'mac' as mackintosh me too and was about to come on and say... just give it a rinse in cold water Smile

Original poster
luckylucky24 · 02/01/2017 10:53

He has been and got some rice so will see if it is salvageable. He is likely to be sulking most of the day now though and it has probably ruined his last day off work.

OP posts:
Olympiathequeen · 02/01/2017 10:53

He'll know better next time. An expensive lesson on clearing up after yourself.

I think you should also have been more careful knowing how babies grab things and should have checked out her environment.

Baby totally innocent 😇

ShowMePotatoSalad · 02/01/2017 10:55

Oh so fucking what? It serves him right for being so unkind towards his own daughter.

Ruined his last day off work indeed...

Olympiathequeen · 02/01/2017 10:56

I hope he didn't turn it on? Never do that as it shorts out all the electrics. Open the back. Remove the battery and any add ons. Put in a bag of rice in an airing cabinet and leave for a few days. My Fitbit spluttered back to life after going through a full washing cycle so there's hope still.

HeCantBeSerious · 02/01/2017 10:56

By the way, if the insurance doesn't cover accidental damage, what does it cover? Deliberate damage?! Or is it just for theft/loss?

Basically, theft. Cover away from the home and accidental damage are optional extras that you can pay for.

Violetcharlotte · 02/01/2017 10:57

For goodness sake she's a baby! How in earth can it be her fault? Actually no ones to blame, it's just an accident. One of those things that happen in a home where people live.

SleepFreeZone · 02/01/2017 10:57

My 4 year old would throw cold coffee over our laptop left to his own devices so a 14 month old would do it in a heart beat. I would be pissed off with our 4 year old as he knows better but a baby has no clue so apportioning blame is pointless.

My DP has a habit of leaving drink around the place and I have to go around and move things as I have the foresight to see what will likely happen. He doesn't apparently (champagne flute on coffee table with flailing toddler anyone?! 🙄)

icelollycraving · 02/01/2017 10:58

Has your dd said sorry to him?
Oh no,she can't because she is 1. Ffs it's an accident.

Rainatnight · 02/01/2017 10:58

How can a 14 month old be 'destructive by nature'? She's not Voldemort. All 14 month olds are into everything.

scottishdiem · 02/01/2017 10:59

Its definitely not the 14 month olds fault.

Using the dog example from above I dont blame my dogs when they can get at stuff on the floor or at their height. However, stuff on my desk or table such as coffee or half drunk cans would only be in their reach if someone put the dogs at that height (which happened a couple of times when they were puppies - nothing was spilt as I had moved it). However, if someone were to put the dog on my desk or table now I would expect them to make sure its clear to do so.

Whilst homes have to be baby proofed surely that includes putting the baby in places that are baby proof only. Not in places that are not?

liletsthepink · 02/01/2017 11:00

Tell DH to have his coffee in a lidded cup in future so it won't ruin the laptop next time it spills. Or he could clean up after himself.

Hopefully your DD takes after you, OP, possessing both intelligence and common sense, rather than your idiot man child DH.

EweAreHere · 02/01/2017 11:02

100% not the baby-on-feet's fault.

Accident. But maybe he'll clean up after himself now.

MountainPeaks · 02/01/2017 11:02

Rice is not the way forward - please talk to apple before you do anything. Rice screws up the battery even more.

user1471545174 · 02/01/2017 11:03

The excess would eat up the claim anyway, even if it were insured.

Your DH is being ludicrous. He needs to understand the difference between negative feelings of shock and disappointment that his Mac is damaged, and anger/blame at blameless individuals (in this case the baby who is also standing in for you). It's really important for family harmony that he learns to understand that the former emotions are fine and the latter are not. He and you also need to put used cups in the sink even if you don't wash them up straight away.

Hopefully once the Mac has had time to dry out gently it will function again.

WhooooAmI24601 · 02/01/2017 11:03

DH once left his macbook near the kitchen sink on the worktop and went batshit when one of the DCs knocked a cup of juice onto it. Fortunately it was salvageable but he was bizarrely cross given he'd been stupid. I think he was cross at himself, though, not the DC. Your DH is a little U to blame DD.

MaryTheCanary · 02/01/2017 11:03

I read this initially as "14yo" and thought "Well, she should have been more careful, but on the other hand it is pretty stupid to leave full drinks around expensive electrical equipment." I used to do that, until the day I overturned a glass of wine onto a new laptop--it was ruined. Now I am religious about putting laptops etc. onto raised surfaces when they are on a table with a drink on it, and encourage other people not to leave their phones lying on tables where we are having drinks.

But this child was 14 months!? How can she be considered "at fault" for anything here? Your partner should have put his drink away.

SoEverybodyDance · 02/01/2017 11:04

...DD is quite destructive by nature and grabs, knocks, and throws most stuff she can get to...

You think this about your 14 month old baby? I think that's sad.

Sorry OP but this was an accident, brought on by leaving a cup of coffee around (which was a bit stupid, if there's a baby in the house). You and your DH should stop this blame thing... it's toxic. Your daughter will be damaged by it as she grows up if this becomes the way you deal with having children.

Tanith · 02/01/2017 11:04

My DD once wee'd on DH's iPad because it was the same colour as her potty. He didn't blame her (thought it was quite funny, in fact!).
I get that it's frustrating but really! It's not at all your DD's fault, and certainly not something to blame her for.
Tell him she's below the age of criminal responsibility.

HermioneWoozle · 02/01/2017 11:06

If it were a hot cup of coffee and went all over, would he still say it was her fault?

pklme · 02/01/2017 11:06

He's grumpy because he is upset, I think that is ok. He isn't shouting, swearing, lashing out, he's grumpy and keeping himself to himself.

Obvs DD is in no way at fault.

Tbh, leaving a cup out overnight isn't a big deal, I do that. I clear up in the morning.

It is an unfortunate accident, which wouldn't have happened if you or he had cleared the table of mugs and laptops before siting DD at it.

RandomMcRandomer · 02/01/2017 11:06

She is not at all to blame. He should move his cups. If you want to assign some more blame you could have checked for cups (but I can see why you didn't)

Costacoffeeplease · 02/01/2017 11:07

He sounds like a right knob - the baby doesn't bear any of the blame

WTAF?

emmcan · 02/01/2017 11:09

If it is just a spillage it generally means a keyboard replacement. Anywhere from £28 - £60 depending on your local IT fix shop. I have done this before, obviously...