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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DD is not entirely to blame for this?

161 replies

luckylucky24 · 02/01/2017 10:19

I got up with DD 14 months this morning and whilst sat on my knee she knocked over an almost full cup of coffee left there by DH the day before, (definitely was him as noone else drinks it.) It went over DH's mac which is looking broken. We won't be able to afford to replace it anytime soon.
He is understandably devastated and is blaming the baby. Not himself at all for the two cold cups of coffee left around.
AIBU to say he is partly to blame for leaving full cups around?

OP posts:
Ohdearducks · 02/01/2017 10:37

Cant believe you're apportioning any blame on to the BABY who has little or no self control when it was in both of your control to prevent this accident. Him by putting the cup in the sink and you by moving it out of her reach.
Stop blaming an innocent baby ffs.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 02/01/2017 10:38

Hes not partly to blame. Hes fully to blame. Who leaves drinks by electrics, anyway. You can't expect a little baby to take responsibility. What planet is he on. Thank God it went on the lap top and not on her.

Birdsgottafly · 02/01/2017 10:38

""DD is quite destructive by nature and grabs, knocks, and throws most stuff she can get to.""

She isn't, she's exploring her world and learning actions and consequences.

You've got to tidy up when you've got a toddler about. My DD DP
used to do the same, until a similar accident happened.

He's the Adult its up to him to ensure a safe environment.

MerryMarigold · 02/01/2017 10:40

Put it in some rice and let it dry out for a few days.

Original poster
luckylucky24 · 02/01/2017 10:40

No Ellis I don't think he will. He sits two steps from the kitchen, 8 steps, 10 max from the sink. There were 2 mugs with coffee in, 1 empty and an empty beer glass on the table this morning. All his. What makes it worse is he goes into the kitchen before bed to get a glass of water but still leaves the cups on the table.

OP posts:
Ohdearducks · 02/01/2017 10:41

The fact it was cold is really neither here nor there, from your update you didn't know it was there so it could quite easily have been a hot cup of coffee that could have injured the baby. It's just pure luck that it was cold.

Ciutadella · 02/01/2017 10:41

Every now and then I resolve not to drink anything while I'm at a computer, which I think is the best advice. But obviously in rl we don't stick to that, and I have lost a laptop by knocking over a cup of coffee, it's incredibly annoying and totally my fault for ignoring the simple rule. Obviously not your dd's fault! Incidentally apparently no milk no sugar makes it easier to restore.

The Mac may not be destroyed, and it may also be possible to retrieve the data - as others have said, dh should see if he can find anyone to work on it asap. Don't switch it on!

YoScienceBitch · 02/01/2017 10:41

I'd just wait an hour. I'd be pretty livid too if my mac got broken as they're pretty expensive! I'd be over it fairly quickly though.
To be fair, I don't think leaving a coffee cup in a table that is out of reach of a baby is a bad thing. You should've moved it when you sat at the table with her.

SheFeedsYouTeaAndOranges · 02/01/2017 10:42

Well at 14 months, the baby won't even have realised that she could knock it over, or that it would fall, or that it could spill, or that the macbook could be damaged, or anything about insurance and lack of cover for accidental damage, or what a macbook is, or what damage is, or that coffee would damage it...

She doesn't know any of this. He knows all of it.

It's not strictly an accident, because an accident is unforseeable and unavoidable. This was neither. It was his fault for leaving a cup of coffee on a table and a macbook on the floor nearby, or anywhere at all, when he has a baby.

havingabadhairday · 02/01/2017 10:43

Since I had ds my laptop goes away when I'm not using it. Leaving a drink next to expensive electronics with children around is asking for trouble.

MrsMcMoo · 02/01/2017 10:45

Of course she's not even 0.0000001% to blame!

Is it possible it might be ok once it dries out? Maybe put it in some rice or something - I'm sure there are lots of suggestions on web. pc world good at recovering data.

Ciutadella · 02/01/2017 10:46

Merry marigold, I've tried the rice thing with a mobile in the past - no luck. I would be interested to know whether it's ever worked in practice for anyone!

By the way, if the insurance doesn't cover accidental damage, what does it cover? Deliberate damage?! Or is it just for theft/loss?

downwardfacingdog · 02/01/2017 10:46

Even if the baby had lifted the cup and poured it over the Mac it wouldn't have been her fault. She's 14m ffs! It's entirely his fault for being a lazy arse and leaving cups lying around next to electricals when you have a toddler in the house.

notangelinajolie · 02/01/2017 10:47

It was an accident that is all. As adults both of you should have been aware that half full cups of coffee and babies are accidents waiting to happen. Time to stop playing the blame game and a) don't leave expensive stuff out b) don't put babies anywhere near expensive stuff c) if you cant do that then get better insurance.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 02/01/2017 10:47

Find an Apple repair shop, check for one with good reviews.
DD1 spilled cup of orange juice over a brand new Mac last Xmas. She didn't own up to it initially. About 3 days later we found a good repair shop who managed to fix it. Still working fine a year later...
Don't go to Apple Authorised Dealer - they will recommend replacing all impacted parts which costs a fortune, a repair shop will attempt to fix the damaged parts.

Cel982 · 02/01/2017 10:48

He's obviously being daft to 'blame' the baby, she's not responsible for her actions at 14 months. I'd imagine he's just upset about the laptop and will probably calm down soon, unless he's a complete knob.

I don't think he committed the crime of the century by leaving a cup of coffee on a table, though. The baby obviously couldn't reach it without assistance. I do think it was a bit silly of you to sit a baby down within reach of a full cup of liquid.

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder · 02/01/2017 10:48

"DD was sat facing me so could see it from her angle."

OP - this 14 month old is your baby. I'm assuming you spend a fair bit of time with her. Have you not noticed that she doesn't possess the cognitive ability to understand a concept such as what will happen to her father's laptop if she knocks over a drink onto it? And that she doesn't have the spatial awareness to consider objects around her and the effect of her movements on them? Poor little girl. I hope she's not often in the bad books for causing damage to things.

SecondsLeft · 02/01/2017 10:49

He is not blaming her, he's blaming you.

timelytess · 02/01/2017 10:49

The baby is not to blame.
The other baby is being a prat.

GnomeDePlume · 02/01/2017 10:49

His fault and your fault for leaving fragile objects within reach of a 14 month old baby. Actually, I think it was probably more your fault in the moment for not doing the quick hazard check.

Lorelei76 · 02/01/2017 10:49

His fault
He's being a dick

dollydaydream114 · 02/01/2017 10:49

saying it is her fault

She is A BABY and he is insane if he thinks a baby is responsible for their actions. A four-month-old doesn't even have fully developed motor skills, let alone understand that spilling something is a nuisance or that a computer is expensive. A 14-month-old cannot be 'to blame' for anything.

Your partner is being a grade-A prick. If he leaves drinks lying around to go cold with a baby in the house, that is his problem. And if he 'blames' a baby for things then I worry about his future as a parent.

llangennith · 02/01/2017 10:50

He should put his Mac away safely. No-one should be leaving cups of liquid anywhere a small child can get hold of. Maybe do a quick scan of the room to make sure no potential hazards as you take DD in there.
It could've been a scalding hot cup of coffee.

Munchkin1412 · 02/01/2017 10:50

Agree with Secondsleft. He thinks it's your fault. Hence the sulk. Nobody in their right. Ind could genuinely blame a 14 month old baby for anything.

ChuckSnowballs · 02/01/2017 10:51

A lazy, blamey manchild.