Because of comments like this, is why people are terrified of SS.

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

We was all at a friends house for a few drinks last night, before heading to a house party. The friends (I'll refer too her as A) house we was at she has 3 children - 7 yo twins and a 3 yo. Another friend (B) went into the fridge and gasped at how if social services was to enter her house they'd take the children of her due to lack of things in the fridge. I went to have a look and yes it was a bit emptyish, but has just been christmas, family of 5 all of work/school. She had two bottles of juice, sandwich meat, cheese spread, yoghurts and some chocolates from selection boxes.

A, laughed and said don't be silly.
B told her she wasn't joking because she has a friend who knows a lady () , and her fridge looked like this and SS swooped in and took the children away until she restocked her fridge.

Now A is a born worrier, she's nearly in tears by this point and says she hasn't got any money until Friday to stock the fridge back up to its full capacity as she didn't expect the family to go through so much so quickly.

B told her the other lady used that "excuse" and SS still removed the children.

I told B too bugger off trying to scare her and B insisted it was most definitley a real story. Luckily after the alcohol started flowing all seemed forgotten about until I got a text this morning of A, along the lines of
" would you be able too borrow me £30 until Friday? Do you think £30 will be enough to fill my fridge?"

im trying to calm A down by saying this is allowed of bullshit what B said, but am I right or is B?

AIBU to think because of people like B, families who do genuinley need help and guidance, don't admit it because of these kind of horror stories?

spider you are correct. But from what I know and can see, I highly doubt she has anything to be scared of. Although I'm also aware I don't see behind closed doors. I'm just going off knowing A for a very long time, how her house is kept and how her kids behave/look and from my View all looks fine.

Well the only way SS would know about the slightly empty fridge is if B tells them. Also, it's hard to imagine the system is so crazy that SS would remove kids just for an empty fridge.

B is a bitch.

I had a 'friend' who really dislikes cats and when I was pg was always ringing me up saying that SS would take my baby away because cats are dangerous to babies. When DS was born the cat once tried to cuddle up in the moses basket and so we got a cat net, discovered that they just sink down if the cat sits on it and so my handyman DH rigged up a frame to put the cat net on so it would remain rigid far above the moses basket and DS could sleep safely. 'Friend' saw that and went apeshit and said SS would now come and take DS away because we made him sleep in a 'cage'.

Thing is, I am not dim, but I WAS about to descend into bad and untreated for 4 years PND. One of the manifestations became an utter fear about SS coming in and fears that my friend would 'report' me. I became agoraphobic, and terrified. I would have had PND anyway - but the stupid stupid comments did not help. There were many reasons why I finished that friendship eventually, but that was one of them. I wish very much I had had another friend who could have said 'B is talking fucking shit. And she's a stupid bitch. Ignore her'.

I'm a Social Worker. My fridge is pretty bare right now. The kids have been mostly eating chocolate and crackers this week! We are normal people who live the exact same way as most other parents out there. I would only ever look around kitchens if there had been worries about the children's weight/nutrition/parents alcohol use etc.

miaow i'm shocked at your db comment! We aren't all like that. I like to correct people when i get called a child snatcher.

I'm also a bit bemused by the title of the thread and your friend's reaction to B. Is she a bit vulnerable at the moment?

I don't know anyone who is terrified of the SS.

I've been scared of SS intervention before and I think it's because there are shit stirrers like B around. From what sensible people say they are here to help families, not swoop in and nick kids!

A needs a hug and support, B needs to be kicked up the arse and told she's a wanker.

God help Social Services if they came to this house - with two 16 year old sons who are 6'4" and 6'6" DP they'd think we never go bloody shopping. As soon as food comes in the house it's gone within hours.

Miaow is your brother the same one who had a go at you about you when you were putting your child in their car seats? And you told him to fuck off because you can as you're his sister and he isn't at work.

The term "qualified child snatcher" is disgusting. How do you put up with him??

OP, why is B your friend?

What a shit B is, for all cs would know it could be shopping day, my fridge looks bare one day a week except condiments until shop as I don't by excessive amounts of food and only buy exactly what we will eat.

And if my dc isn't staying with me could be bare for days as il eat elsewhere or grab on the go.

Socual services don't just bang your door and knick your children for any old reason.

Except for in extreme emergency situations were children are in real and imminent danger of harm and are taken under a Police Protection Order (eg father has threatened to kill and has a gun etc) then children are brought into care after careful planning -- a threshold approved by the Local Authority's legal advisors has to be met. Long before the situation reaches that stage there have been meetings with the parents, issues for concern discussed and support offered. Sometimes parents refuse to accept their children are at risk of real harm and carry on drinking, drugging etc , neglecting and abusing children. The Family Court will not grant an Interim Care Order authorising the LA to accommodate a child unless good reason is shown . Parents have an opportunity to be heard. Court generally orders assessments to be carried out, parenting courses etc to be provided if not already. So nothing happens out of the blue. Even messy homes are not a ground unless the health of the children is at risk is cat & /or dog or human faeces on the floors, hyperdermic needles, drugs etc within reach.
If parents spend all their money on drugs, alcohol and tobacco or gambling and the children are malnourished THEN an empty fridge would be relevant and budgeting advice likely to be offered before removal of children, all other factors considered.
Miaow, your brother was trying to wind you up! No social worker has authority to take a child into care off their own bat, without meting the legal threshold.

I would lend friend £30 if possible but also tell her friend b is barmy

For what it's worth we have a fridge virtually empty today. Just chutney and similar. We have been away and just back, Ocado due tomorrow morning. But we ate out yesterday due to NYE, and today emptying freezer of homemade frozen soups, and a large mousakka homemade and frozen. Cupboards full. Just fridge empty as food would have gone mouldy in our absence

Agree with MrsMattBomer.
A needs a hug and support, B needs to be kicked up the arse and told she's a wanker.

my friend had ss involvement they did check her fridge but to be fair she did have involvement for neglect and her one child was wafer thin her other one was not neither is she so it was pretty much a given that they should check the contents of her fridge

her daughter was refusing to eat due to stress being exacerbated by the ss involvement not there fault but they changed ss workers on a regular basis and they all wanted to start at the beginning and all had different ideas of what the underlying issue was

she now has a long term mental health problem all those years of involvement and they did nothing to help her

i agree the best way to get rid of a social worker is to ask for help they suddenly sign you off

What constitutes significant harm, though?

It seems to me sexual and physical abuse are the things that get children taken into care; emotional abuse rarely/never, neglect yes, but has to be severe,

B normally isn't much of a bitch, but she's also one of them she takes what everybody says as gospel. So maybe she didn't see it as making her more anxious, just telling her a "real life story"
I think A has worked herself down now, a mix of me, sending her comments off here and her DH.

FFS what a load of bollocks. My SIL is a social worker. Her baby was bottle fed, weaned on jars, used disposable nappies. He's now 8, we all swear round him and he plays Grand Theft Auto on his dads X Box.

My point being social workers aren't some kind of godly beings who expect exemplary behavior from parents, or even display it thenselves.

Having an emptyish fridge is not on a par with sustained child abuse, or neglect.

I think it's extremely rude to look in the fridge of a friend and make any sort of comment at all (other than-'Ooh, I like your fridge!')!

haveacupoftea wtf does your nephew being bottle fed, weaned on jars, or wearing disposable nappies have to do with his Mum being SW?! He was fed and clean. That is exemplary behaviour!

OP have I just read that you've sent your anxious friend some comments from this thread?! I hope they were all reassuring ones! She probably didn't want you posting about her tbh...

haveacupoftea exactly why they aren't fit to have any involvement with mine .

@Frusso - spot on!!!!