To think this isn't homophobic?

[LeeFiora]

Was watching a film, The Family Stone, the other day, and the reaction one of the characters gets to a comment she makes is really bothering me.

Basically the character says that if she had kids, she wouldn't mind if they were gay but that due to the mindset of society at large it would be easier for them to be straight. The other characters are absolutely disgusted by her and she is shamed into leaving.

The thing is, that's exactly the view I hold. I have a small child and will absolutely wholeheartedly support any loving relationship she gets into as she gets older. I do think it would be easier on her to be straight as I'd like her to be able to, for example, hold hands with her partner in public or be able to hug and kiss them without people tut-tutting it, as I have very unfortunately seen happen.

AIBU to think this isn't a homophobic point of view?

Reading fbook posts from gay Americans makes me think YANBU. With Trump on the horizon we're not out of the homophobic woods yet :(

But let's not lose the distinction that made the SJP role homophobic: it's normal to want your child to have an easy path; it's not on to tell gay people that their lives must be miserable, that you would prefer not to have a child like them.

dorcas

And that they may make the child gay. And that surely any parent would want the child to be normal and not challenged.

Which... in other words:

'You are shitty people for wanting to adopt when you could 'make' DC gay, which would make DC abnormal and challenged.

The OP doesn't sound homophobic, but sjp's character certainly was.

It's a really hard scene to watch; I was peeking through my fingers!

it is all bad and I wish lesbian and bi women could stick together more because god knows, we need each other in a world that kind of wants to either exploit, abuse or ignore both of us

Yes, Brave, exactly! But I find myself kicking back at the tendency of many people in the GBT+ bit of the acronym to paint lesbians as the terrible oppressors of the entire community, when in reality they are shoved to the back of every queue, and at the bottom of every queer pecking order as well as every straight one.

Do bi women face discrimination? Yes. Do some lesbians reject some bisexual women? Yes, of course that happens. Do lesbians as a class have any structural power to oppress bisexuals as a class? No, that's not how it works.

Absolutely right, ArcheryAnnie. In fact, in my personal life I find lesbians and bi women do tend to stick together - in that my dp (of over 20 years) identifies as bi (I identify as lesbian) and our friends are a mix of lesbian, bi and straight. I can truthfully say I have no investment in how anyone chooses to define their sexuality - but then I'm not some recently-out, young scene-player - and I suspect that is where you will find most tribalism. I don't see any evidence that lesbians are more sectarian, more prejudiced or more vindictive than any other group - and yet we seem to get more than our fair share of bad press. For example, we have 'TERFs' - but no kind of equivalent label for, say, gay men who are derogatory about women ('fag hags', 'breeders'). Is that because everyone wants a gay best friend but nobody wants a lesbian best friend?!

Hrm. I think there are tensions in real life too, DorcasthePuffin. At least, when I ID'd as bi I experienced biphobia from the gay community, but you may well be right in that I was a twenty something in a fairly earnest and politicised gay scene back then. And as an older and uglier approaching forty woman, I still periodically encounter challenging attitudes, from all sides - for example - there was a horrific melt down in my local community relatively recently about queer women's spaces mostly all being replaced with 'anyone who isn't a cis man' space, and a number of people did not cover themselves in glory. Which, to be honest, I also feel arose just because in general women have so little space in the queer community.

I didn't mean to deny that biphobia exists, BraveDancing, and I'm sorry that has been your experience.

for example - there was a horrific melt down in my local community relatively recently about queer women's spaces mostly all being replaced with 'anyone who isn't a cis man' space, and a number of people did not cover themselves in glory. Which, to be honest, I also feel arose just because in general women have so little space in the queer community.

Argh, BraveDancing, that must have been rough - and I think there's only going to be more of that coming along.