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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it is too late to tell me she is now vegeterian?

288 replies

listsandbudgets · 31/12/2016 09:35

having 2 couples round for dinner tonight. this was arranged about 3 weeks ago.

just had text message from Mrs W

"hi lists just to let you know I decided to turn vegeterian just before Christmas.. so no meat, fish, gelatine , meat fat etc. Thanks."

AIBU to serve jersey a tin of macaroni cheese while everyone else enjoys starter of smoked salmon followed by roast lamb and all the trimmings?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 01/01/2017 15:16

To those that use Quorn instead of meat in a meal - great that you can't taste the difference, but please tell people before you give it to them, rather than a smug 'ta-dah, you didn't notice' afterwards - some folks have a very unpleasant reaction to it.

This, absolutely! In a world where food allergies and intolerances seem to be increasing, only an idiot serves up something pretending it is something else.

Basicbrown · 01/01/2017 15:40

I'm Hindu. Everyone I know is vegetarian. They all eat really, really healthily. Lots of veg. Occasional splurge on fried food is ok.

I'm not entirely sure about the relevance of being Hindu to healthy eating (but I realise some groups of Hindus are veggie I'm not thick.......)

However, of course it is possible to be vegetarian and eat healthily or unhealthily. To conclude that the average veggie diet is either more or less healthy than a mixed diet is Confused frankly. It will depend either way on what you eat.

SuburbanRhonda · 01/01/2017 15:42

To those that use Quorn instead of meat in a meal - great that you can't taste the difference, but please tell people before you give it to them

Someone upthread suggested giving the vegetarian guest the same goose fat potatoes as everyone else but in a separate bowl, making her think they were suitable for her to eat. Just as dickish.

YoScienceBitch · 01/01/2017 15:43

Forcing anyone to eat anything they don't want to is dickish.

BertrandRussell · 01/01/2017 15:50

Refusing to eat food because it's vegetarian is very dickish indeed. If somebody was complaining that their mil wouldn't eat vegetarian food the mil would be shredded!

YoScienceBitch · 01/01/2017 15:56

Who exactly has said they wouldn't eat it?

GimmeeMoore · 01/01/2017 16:09

I can assure you I've never envied anyone else meat dinnner.never drooled.ever
I genuinely like tofu,if well seasoned.i like quorn again if well seasonedbith make nice meals
Some on here have a v skewed view of vegetarians.we generally don't miss or crave meat

JolieColombe · 01/01/2017 16:11

Did I say it was okay to give a vegetarian goose fat potatoes? No. Am I required to castigate every dickish comment on the thread before I'm permitted to make my own point? Don't bloody think so - do you? I was pointing out that giving guests Quorn without telling them what it is can make them ill - some people might not actually know this and think it a 'clever fucking smug' thing to do. And to avoid any doubt, by ill, I mean up all fucking night with raging D&V.

MargaretCavendish · 01/01/2017 16:37

For ethical reasons I think you should be full vegan otherwise what's the point? You're still contributing to poor treatment of animals by consuming milk and cheese and eggs.

Don't we all make these kind of moral compromises in our lives all the time? I wouldn't wear a conflict diamond, but I know that the gold in my smartphone might not be ethically sourced and choose to have a smartphone anyway. I give some of my money to charity, but I could give much, much more if I stopped buying myself non-necessities, yet I don't do that. Similarly, I don't eat meat and only buy organic eggs and milk, but I know that this still means that I contribute to industries with practices I find unethical. Realistically, we all find our own balances which are going to take our own comfort and convenience into account. I will happily listen to a vegan tell me that they're doing more than me and have chosen a superior moral position, because they're right. I will not listen to a meat eater telling me that me doing something but not everything and them doing nothing is exactly the same.

YoScienceBitch · 01/01/2017 16:40

margaret yes that's the point I'm trying to make. I'm not ethical at all. The difference is that I don't pretend that I am. It just really irritates me when some vegetarians bang on about how moral and ethical they are being when in reality they aren't at all.

MargaretCavendish · 01/01/2017 16:43

Well, they are are making a more ethical choice than you, just not the most ethical choice possible. To repeat myself again: I will not listen to a meat eater telling me that me doing something but not everything and them doing nothing is exactly the same.

YoScienceBitch · 01/01/2017 16:45

I never said it was exactly the same?

BertrandRussell · 01/01/2017 16:45

Oh,that old "if you can' make all the ethical choices why make any of them?"line. So tedious.

DailyFail1 · 01/01/2017 16:48

Margaret - Flowers your post is spot on.

YoScienceBitch · 01/01/2017 16:49

bertrand making little snipey one liners on threads is pretty tedious also don't you think?

SuburbanRhonda · 01/01/2017 16:51

Jesus, jolie, are you always this snippy when someone comments on your posts?

SoupDragon · 01/01/2017 16:57

I think it's fine to be snippy when a comment is irrelevant to the point being made.

GimmeeMoore · 01/01/2017 16:58

As a vegetarian I don't need to adhere to a higher moral code than anyone else. I am not required to be more ethical than folk who eat meat.

I don't Need to to live a more ethical life or consumer habits thananyone else to justify me being a vegetarian
Living in a 1st world capitalist economy in U.K. There is no such thing as a completely ethical life that's not impacted or associated with something iffy or unethical

SuburbanRhonda · 01/01/2017 17:04

I don't think it's fine or necessary to be snippy at all, as it happens. I wasn't disagreeing with jolie, I was adding to what she said. But clearly she feels she has a monopoly on feeling aggrieved about being fed something she can't eat.

JolieColombe · 01/01/2017 17:13

Nope, not always snippy. However, I felt you were trying to minimise my post, not adding to it, hence the irritation. And fwiw, I wasn't talking about me, so there we go, we've both made incorrect assumptions.

SuburbanRhonda · 01/01/2017 17:27

I didn't think you were talking about yourself so no incorrect assumptions here.

Moaningmyrtille · 01/01/2017 17:30

I read this whole thread looking for an update from the OP! I want to know what the guest ate Wink

Hope you all enjoyed your food today, veggie or not!

JolieColombe · 01/01/2017 17:44

clearly she feels she has a monopoly on feeling aggrieved about being fed something she can't eat

You weren't referring to me here then?

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 01/01/2017 17:49

Great post margaret

Amazing how many times it happens though

kali110 · 01/01/2017 18:49

agree with jolie in regards to quorn.
I love the sausages ( not as much as cauldron ones) however i had a very bad reaction to the quorn mince for some reason!
I don't understand why pink is getting a hard time for saying she mainly eats a lot of meat.
Is it that hard to understand some people have a restrictive diet?