About lending a present??

[lorelairoryemily]

A friend of mine bought us a travel cot for our ds, gave it to us when he was a few weeks old then 2 weeks later before we'd even gotten to use it text me to say she had to borrow it to use for her husbands nephews child who was coming to stay. Aibu to be really fucked off and not want it back??

Reality have you had a bad day? No need to be so rude. I didn't change her wording, I just added the rest of it. Not a bad day, but you did change details of BOTH texts. Bad or good day though I still get pissed off when someone asks for opinions then straight away says people are wrong. There is no need. Like I said, I was initially agreeing with you

Thanks aero, I lent it to her, I really had no choice!

Fair enough reality, can I ask you a question? Would you give someone a present and then tell them you had to borrow it?

Thanks aero, I lent it to her, I really had no choice!

Unless she was holding you hostage, you did have a choice. She takes advantage of you because you're a mug.

Lorel did you tell her to keep it, she might need it for later.

and ditch the friendship!

Fair enough reality, can I ask you a question? Would you give someone a present and then tell them you had to borrow it?. Probably not, but depending on circumstances I may have text my friend and said...

i need to borrow the travel cot for Dh's nephews son, feel free to say no if you're using it

Oh. Yes.

But when I said I was using it she said I'd have to get her one somewhere!! What's free to say no about that?!

'But when I said I was using it she said I'd have to get her one somewhere!! What's free to say no about that?!'

Aw, c'mon. You say, 'No, I don't have to find you anything. You gave it as a gift and I'm using it.' and then you stop engaging with her. You just stop. If she texts again, you don't answer. If she comes round, you don't let her in. Are you her PA? Because you act like it and as long as you do, she'll continue to take the piss out of you. Honestly, with people who allow themselves to be continually taken advantage of even in the knowledge they're being mugged off, they're getting something out of it or they wouldn't keep doing it.

But when I said I was using it she said I'd have to get her one somewhere!! What's free to say no about that?. Well I wouldnt have taken that seriously. But as you pointed out I don't know her. If she was legit about expecting you to find one, rather than making a comment which was meant to go nowhere, then of course you just say no, or fuck off or whatever.

Sounds like you are scared of your friend

Not scared just a people pleaser reality she was serious.

Just go out now and buy another and tell her just to keep that one. Sounds like more hassle than I could be bothered about. FWIW though we always had our travel cot up and used it as a play pen - great use of something that otherwise would hardly have got used. We also bought a soft travel mattress for ours for when they did need to sleep in it as our base was also pretty hard.

'reality she was serious.'

So what was she going to do if you told her to go sling her hook, come over with a gun and kidnap you and force you to locate another one?

Some people get a kick of being martyrs and mugs.

YWNBU
Just tell her to keep it as you want your own to do what've you want with not to have to keep lending back/cleaning whenever she needs it if it means you doing without.