About lending a present??

[lorelairoryemily]

A friend of mine bought us a travel cot for our ds, gave it to us when he was a few weeks old then 2 weeks later before we'd even gotten to use it text me to say she had to borrow it to use for her husbands nephews child who was coming to stay. Aibu to be really fucked off and not want it back??

Certain seven she actually suggested my sister who has 3 kids, my sister in law and my best friend with the added comment that surely one of them must have one for her

She said " I need to borrow the travel cot for Dh's nephews son, feel free to say no if you're using it" I replied I'm so sorry but we are actually using it for ds (kind of like a play pen so he could sprawl out and we have a small dog so perfectly reasonable as that's what she intended it for when she bought it) anyway her reply to that was " well then you'll have to get me one from somewhere I need it this weekend!

Very strange - they don't sound like texts from the same person?!

Is there any additional history here? It almost sounds like she anticipated you would say no?

I have to say that in normal circs, and not being someone with a rep for borrowing and keeping things etc, if I asked a friend to borrow something as a one-off and they said no citing a crap-sounding reason (using a travel cot despite not having travelled anywhere?), I'd be a bit miffed.

Perhaps I'm missing something, though - are travel cots not just cots you use when you travel??

Just to add the same friend once asked me for varnish she knew I'd used so she wouldn't have to buy it and when I told her we were out of it she popped in and asked Dh just to check!

Send her a link to travel cots on Amazon and reply 'here's one you can buy'

Elvis it's one of the ones with the harder bottom, more suitable as a playpen than a travel cot, that's what she bought it for, it's way to hard to sleep on as it is

Kurri I really should have!!!

Just to add the same friend once asked me for varnish she knew I'd used so she wouldn't have to buy it and when I told her we were out of it she popped in and asked Dh just to check!

Any chance you've got form / a reputation for being a tight cow who accepts help / favours / gifts but is always miserley when it comes to reciprocating..?

Only asking as it almost sounds like your friend are testing you?!

I suppose it's more the implication that she was entitled to it that annoyed me, like because I have in that she bought it was up to me to provide her with one

Christ, I'd just keep blithely refusing. No, sorry, we're using it all the time. No, sorry, no one has one. No, sorry, perhaps try the place you bought my one?

Interesting use of "the" travel cot, not "your" travel cot.
That implies there's some kind of shared ownership going on.

Good question elvis. We used to share a business premises, when we moved to separate ones she asked me for my radiator covers, I gave them to her. Then she asked for a retail stand, I gave it to her, then she asked for paint, I gave it to her, I found us the new premises next door to each other(I'm hair she's beauty) I did all the work, negotiated the rent with the landlord and she told the landlord raft I'm busier than her and could afford to pay more, I was 7 months pregnant at the time and moving out of sudden necessity, then she asked for the varnish to fix the manky second hand couch she bought and I said no, the previous day I had asked her for one glass shelf(she had 12) and she said no!

It's actually the opposite elvis, I'm ridiculously generous,(don't mean that to sound big headed) I'm very very soft and I'd genuinely give anything to anyone but she's so mean!

Right I get that she does sound incredibly entitled, but what I don't get is why you put up with giving her so much when she's 'so mean'?

Good point octopus maybe that's what it is! Mine until she needs it

I don't anymore liberty, I am learning! I find it hard to say no sometimes, the other stuff never really got to me until this happened! Kind of made me realise how miserable she is

What do you mean you don't any more? You've just lent her the travel cot

And if she didn't believe you about the nail varnish, she certainly won't believe you were already using the cot if you hadn't even taken it out of the box before you lent it to her.

Is a bot cheeky I suppose, but then if they didn't know nephew was coming and it's a last minute thing I can understand it

It's like when people give you a box of chocolates and then proceed to open and help themselves. Wait to be offered already

Bahahahahaha Liberty you're quite right!! I must confess that I took it out and stuffed it back in arseways so she'd think we were!! Suspect she knows I lied but who cares

Why are you friends with this brass necked, entitled madam?

I really don't know

sounds like she brought a present she thought she could get use out of too! I would ask myself if this was a equal friendship or someone out to get what they could!

I'd buy a new one for you, give her the old one back and if she offered to return the old one in future explain that you bought one as you do genuinely need it all the time and didn't like feeling that the old one was a loan and not a gift!

I had a friend like that, somehow always managed to make me feel indebted to them.

I'd give the travel cot to her, (because if like my once friend it will never be forgotten, mentioned at every opportunity) then walk away thinking fuck u, buy another (if they the play pen type) u have to sometimes wrestle with can usually get them cheap in sales. Then when she eventually returned I'd say not to to bother I brought my own. Then back well away from such friendship

What's the big deal?
Even if she hadn't bought it whoever would you not lend it if you weren't using it ?

I hope you smeared it with porridge and other such sticky shit that can't be removed without the aid of a power tool, and a controlled explosion?