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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family no longer coming to stay (head lice-related)

302 replies

boobashka · 30/12/2016 13:03

My brother and his family are in the UK for the holidays staying with my parents (2hours away). Since October the plan has been that they will come to ours for 3 days over New Year. So I have filled the fridge, booked a meal out, and in the last couple of days cleaned house from top to bottom and organised beds and bedding for everyone - 11 people including my other DB. I discovered head lice in myself and DD yesterday - promptly treated with Full Marks and thorough combing with the fine tooth nit comb. Now my brother and his wife no longer want to come here to stay in case their two DC (age 4 and 2) contract nits.
AIBU to be think that their decision is super selfish? My mum has been on the phone in tears (first time all her grandchildren were to be together) and my two DC are upset to not be spending time with their little cousins.

OP posts:
Original poster
boobashka · 30/12/2016 17:11

They are from UK but reside down under.

Ironically lougle my American friend is totally relaxed about them.

OP posts:
Closedenv · 30/12/2016 17:12

They are both doctors and are being so stupid?! Offer to have new towels, etc and wear shower caps, take lots of photos so when they grow up they can be reminded of how silly they were! Sorry not helpful.

mummydawn07 · 30/12/2016 17:13

nits aren't infectious lol, sorry that made me laugh once you've combed them all out and got rid of all the eggs that's it they're gone!! you've treated it and all they have to do is wear their hair up with some cheapy hair gel, always worked for my hair when I was in school. I don't think yabu they are just being pedantic god it's just a case of nits... nothing major and easily treated if you get them!! sorry to hear you've gone to all that effort just to be let down Wine Flowers

babychamcherryb · 30/12/2016 17:15

I would want to avoid nits too. I know it's no big deal but at the same time I'd avoid and be thankful you told me.

Out2pasture · 30/12/2016 17:26

MN seems to make head lice out to be no big deal, sadly other people don't feel that way.

Okkitokkiunga · 30/12/2016 17:28

I am not from the UK and tbh am horrified by nits. The prevalence of nits in this country is so much higher than other countries as the attitude is so much more relaxed. We weren't allowed back to school till they were cleared. I had nits once as a child and I was off school for a week with daily treatment. Whilst I think its a pity that your family have cancelled their attitudes are obviously very different.

If you do the conditioning thing tonight and tomorrow morning you will be able to count the nits in your sink when you let the water out, so you will have an idea of the infestation.

FearandLoathinginLasVegas · 30/12/2016 17:30

Do they know how common nits are? I didn't until my kids got to primary school. the first time I had them I was quite freaked out. Maybe give them the benefit of the doubt and give them more information?

ILoveDolly · 30/12/2016 17:32

This is crazy. Obviously it's easy in hindsight to say you shouldn't of said anything but I can't believe they would stop a visit because of nits! What will they do come school time??

miserablesod · 30/12/2016 17:32

Sorry but they sound a bit strange. Its nits, all kids get them at some point and if treated properly are easy to get rid of (unless you have a child like mine with thick frizzy hair then its a nightmare!)

Lorelei76 · 30/12/2016 17:34

I wouldn't want to go to a known source of head lice either. Why wouldn't someone want to avoid it?

carabos · 30/12/2016 17:34

And again - not all kids get them...

Lorelei76 · 30/12/2016 17:36

Miserable x post
I also have thick frizzy hair
Never had nits but kids were kept off school when I was little. I guess that's not the case any more?

myfavouritecolourispurple · 30/12/2016 17:38

I'm not sure how I would have reacted but I never had them as a child. I got them when my ds was 5, so mid 30s. Everyone at school got them, I only didn't because my mum was unbelievably fussy and combed my hair constantly and washed it with Suleo which I think is banned now.

But if I was visiting someone who I'd not seen for ages I'd still go. As someone said, put hats on the kids if you are really worried.

Are they such a big thing in Australia/NZ that people are that scared of them? I have a bit of a phobia about them but I'd just do my utmost to avoid getting them. I'd probably wear a hat myself too!

Anyway the OP says she has a strained relationship with her brother so it's clearly just an excuse.

Mindtrope · 30/12/2016 17:44

all kids get them at some point

No they don't.

I have never had nits, neither has my OH nor my children.

mummydawn07 · 30/12/2016 17:45

nits are definitely not a pleasant thing to have, but the family are living in a different country have flown over here to see and spend time with family and are letting something as small as nits stop them from visiting and spending time with family..... I think it's them who need their heads looking at

NauticalDisaster · 30/12/2016 17:53

I am mid-40s and have never had nits, the thought of them really grosses me and I am thankful my DC have never had them. I would have cancelled staying with you as well!

I know it's my issue and I don't see people with nits as unclean (though the stigma was very strong when I was growing up), it just freaks me out.

Chattymummyhere · 30/12/2016 17:53

I wouldn't visit if you had nits sorry. I regularly check my kids hair but to go and stay at a house where I know they are? Nope not happening, I stopped taking my children to a friends house because her children where always crawling with them. I still remember the nightmare my family had getting rid of them from me when I picked them up in school (resulted in shaving all my hair off and moving schools.. never got them again though).

My children use a bit repell shampoo and spray to try and avoid catching them at school/preschool and we avoid obvious infestations too Wine

Cheby · 30/12/2016 17:55

FGS its just nits. It's not fun, but it's a very normal thing in children, just ask any primary or pre school teacher.

We found them on DD for the first time on Xmas eve. Warned family, who didn't cancel, because they are not precious.

We treated, are combing daily, and will treat again tomorrow as per instructions.

Have found a grand total of 4 of the buggers. I can't get too fussed by it and I realise we may be in for more of the same when she goes to school.

luckylavender · 30/12/2016 17:56

I'm 54 and never had nits. DS 20 did. I found them an absolute pain.

BestIsWest · 30/12/2016 18:03

53 and never had nits. In my memory anyway. DM says different.

Starlight2345 · 30/12/2016 18:17

I think so many of the 40 year olds who claim to have not had nits probably don't remember as a child 'I certainly don't. I do remember been off school with ring worm I caught off another child had it so we were all checked.

It is nits...No one aspires to have nits but if I had travelled long haul to see family Nits would make no difference..

You do know as soon as treated children can return to school.

I would be hopping mad if I was you OP.

Mindtrope · 30/12/2016 18:20

starlight- no I may not remember, but my mother does.

JakeBallardswife · 30/12/2016 18:28

You guys could all go and visit them in those suits that detectives wear in crime investigations. Or swimming hats & plastic gloves! Their loss!

steff13 · 30/12/2016 18:28

I'm nearly 40 and have never had them, nor have my children. I'm in the US, though, we treat it a bit differently here, I think. Nor have we had the aforementioned "bum worms." I'm not even sure what that is? Is it an actual thing?

miserablesod · 30/12/2016 18:29

Ok not ALL kids get them 🙄 But they are very common among children. Hardly a reason to cancel a long haul trip to visit family. Although if they are that dramatic over nits i'd be relieved they weren't coming, can't be doing with drama queens.