Parents who shamelessly steal school uniform and coats

[lottieandmia]

How widespread is this really? I'm in the midlands btw.

My children have been to a number of different schools and when my 13 year old dd started at a very expensive girls school (on a scholarship and bursary) where the parents are many of them rich (and I mean really rich), suddenly her stuff all started to go missing. She had her new pullover stolen and therefore didn't have one to wear because they were £30 each and I could only afford to buy one. Her new PE trousers lifted out of her kit bag as well as other pieces of kit that are all very expensive.

I got really sick of it as she would turn her back for half a minute and something would be gone. The children in her class would help themselves to her stationary without asking. And then a brand new very nice water bottle went missing. I emailed her teacher and asked if an email could be sent out to all the girls in her year and also parents to say that we would like it returned. Sure enough it turned up on a shelf, left no doubt by the anonymous thief who had been guilted into returning it. Dd2 is no longer at this school and the constant stealing (and it wasn't just us it happened to) was one reason why. She is now at a state school with far more students and so far nothing has been taken and no student touches her stuff.

Dd3 is starting a new school next week and I am now paranoid about stuff going missing. Hopefully my experience with above school is a one off but I have heard a lot on MN about uniform thieves who help themselves to stuff from lost property.

Sorry to go on about this but it is my pet hate. What makes people think this is an acceptable way to behave? If I write names with sharpie I feel as though I appear paranoid or mistrustful. I feel as though I shouldn't have to do this and a name label should suffice. Sad isn't it?

Yep, the embroidery cannot be undone without wrecking the garment.

It's all woven tightly into the fabric of the clothing and essentially can't be unpicked.

That sounds brilliant

Had this with DD1 at private secondary school - there the older girls saw Year 7 PE kit as fair game as it had everything in it. Result was that by first half term several of the taller girls had lost absolutely everything. I'd been warned and bought 1 inch high name tapes with white name on black background and machine sewn them on to most kit and very firmly sewn it on to everything else. DD had one incident where she caught an older girl in her PE top and followed her out to the PE lesson to complain. PE teacher could immediately see it was hers and told older girl if she was caught nicking stuff again she'd make her take the item off in the middle of the PE field. (Not quite sure how safeguarding would treat that but it seems to have been effective). So black name tapes from wovenlabels.com every time.

Another idea is the iron on name labels. They are easy to use, and once ironed on melt into the fabric so can't be removed. I labelled some of dd's things with it, before I found that stick in name labels were easier.

The problem with the iron on ones is that you can also use an iron to get them off, which I've done to sell something on.

Waitfor - ah right, yes that IS weird!

the thing is that if someone is of a mind to take something they will.

True

My daughter has lost countless jumpers since starting school in September. I mean literally send her in morning and gone by afternoon. I know at that age they get mixed up but I refuse to believe the parents don't know they are taking a brand new jumper especially as name inside! I refuse to buy branded school jumpers and she now has the woollen cardis from asda!

I think mine is a careless young child who gets hot and strips off quickly issue, but he was forever losing his (named) cardigans. I've now numbered them as well, so in the morning he'll put on cardigan #3 and knows I need him to come home with cardigan #3. Somehow it's working much better, and I find it easier to keep track if what's missing and needs tracking down.

At brownies lost property can end up in convoluted chains. Parent reports that x's top is missing and it turns out that y picked it up by accident, so z picked up w's... And the number of times we check a name to find that it probably doesn't belong to v who left the unit 5 years ago... Accurate labelling is essential!

Affluent children often care less about the value of things because they are easily replaced with minimal consequence. A child who knows that a replacement will have to wait until pay day and be budgeted for tends to be more careful. Poorer people are often more proud (in it's positive meaning), and disposable attitudes are more prevalent in affluent areas

As a teacher, the theft I experienced was in a very middle class school. A girl who didn't like me stole my jacket, pulled the button off and splattered it in ice cream, with an audience present. Some other students were appalled and came to me immediately, and it was found and she was dealt with.

This happened at my kids' school. We knew who it was and a few bits got nicked. All the parents turned a blind eye though because the family in question had been having a really tough time of it but wouldn't accept charity off anyone. We just let it happen really.

One of my dc has additional needs. At primary they would wait till dc was called out to intervention and take/hide/kick their stuff across floor.

Schools way of dealing with it was to say that the girl was jealous dc had nice things. Child in question came from an higher income than us.

I don't agree that affluent people have a disposable attitude with stuff. The richest people I know are also the tightest. But that's just my experience.

That's disgusting Keremy so jealousy is a reason to not discipline a child for horrid behaviour that they know is wrong?

That's one of the reasons why i hate uniforms. Of course, with own clothes thefts may still happen, but it wouldn't be little Johnny picking up Rosie's jumper by 'mistake' and wearing it the trest of the term if it had ribbons an Frozen craracters on it.

My son's (private) secondary school very cleverly offers a free embroidery service on its ridiculously expensive sports kit. So everyone has their initials very prominently on the sleeves or legs of their kit. Does mean they can't be handed down easily though!
Sports bags are also sold with registration numbers on them and are recorded by the shop.

I'm with Worra on this one.

My kids stuff gets stolen all the time. The 'theif' usually leaves it in the playground or on the peg next to my sons.

Perhaps your daughter is older now and remembers her stuff better than before.

*thief

Where are you when I need you autocorrect?!

Calorie - why are you in denial that this goes on? My daughter's swimming kit was stolen out of her cubby when she was off sick. Someone threw it all on the floor of the cubby room a term later without the goggles (used). Don't tell me this is my daughter's fault. She was at the first private school from 4-10. Never had a thing go missing. Then at the school where all the stuff was taken for years 6 & 7. Now she's at another school, so far nothing has gone missing. I wonder why? Probably because the children are not morally bankrupt thieves.

Nataleejah

You say that its why you hate uniform. but we had a spate of football boots go missing (£90 -£160 boots).

Very distinctive, we can only assume that they where sold on ebay because they never again showed up in school.

Sons trousers went missing after p.e on Tues

First week of term my dd came home wearing a school logo coat I knew wasn't hers as it was too small. Luckily the childs name was written inside. I told the teacher the next morning and expected dd to come home with her own. Never happened but she had given the child theirs back. It took a week for me to spot the childs parents to let them know they had dd's coat to which the father replied "I thought it was a spare belonging to the school" I don't think the parents had any intention of handing the coat back as they thought it belonged to the school and it would have cost me £40 to replace even though dd's name was written on the bloody label.

Never had a big problem with theft at kids' school. One boy did "accidentally" take ds1's coat once but as it was bright yellow he didn't get very far.

Ah, I did wonder whether the return to school would revive this thread.

Well, I discovered that at my dd's new school, parents are not allowed anywhere near the cloak rooms. In fact, we have to stand behind the railings and once they enter the playground we are not allowed in - they just go and find their line to stand in when the bell goes. This means no parents are allowed to go into their classrooms / cloakrooms at all, ever. Which I'm sure drastically reduces the opportunities for light fingers to rifle through stuff they can just take home

I hope your dd's finds his trousers Lateralthinker. It's so bloody annoying isn't it.

Primary Teacher here.

Absolutely parents steal things. And frustratingly, I find it's often the parents who can most afford things that tend to do it.

Prime example from last year:

Child A: single mother who doesn't work, so relies solely on benefits and had been open with me about how they struggle financially.

Child B: mum is SAHM by choice, dad works and occasionally does drop of in suit before going to work. Obviously I am not privy to their finances, but they certainly appear to be one of the more 'comfortable' families in the deprived school I work in.

Jumpers got mixed up on the carpet at the end of the day. We were 90% sure because of where children were sitting that Child B had gone home with Child As jumper.

Child As mum upset and worried because she can't afford to replace it. We reassure her that we're pretty confident we know who it has gone home with, and as it is named it should come back to school.

Catch Child Bs mum and very politely say 'we think Child B May have accidentally gone home with Child As jumper. Please could you check and bring it back if you find it?' Child Bs mum comes back the next day and says she has looked but it is not at their house.

Two weeks later the children are getting dressed after PE and clothes are scattered everywhere. I pick up a jumper to give back to owner, and it has an iron on name label with Child Bs name on, ironed on to the tag in the neck of the jumper.

Only, the iron on label was peeling up slightly at one end, revealing writing underneath on the actual jumper tag. I could see the last letter of Child Bs name so ripped off the label, and lo and behold, there was the missing jumper.

I absolutely understand that things get accidentally get mixed up and go missing, especially in primary.
But to use such an opportunity to your advantage and actively decide to put your own child's name over another child's to claim their belongings as yours is despicable behaviour IMHO. Especially when the child you are stealing from is so much more in need than you.

Still makes me angry even now