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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parents who shamelessly steal school uniform and coats

208 replies

lottieandmia · 29/12/2016 00:49

How widespread is this really? I'm in the midlands btw.

My children have been to a number of different schools and when my 13 year old dd started at a very expensive girls school (on a scholarship and bursary) where the parents are many of them rich (and I mean really rich), suddenly her stuff all started to go missing. She had her new pullover stolen and therefore didn't have one to wear because they were £30 each and I could only afford to buy one. Her new PE trousers lifted out of her kit bag as well as other pieces of kit that are all very expensive.

I got really sick of it as she would turn her back for half a minute and something would be gone. The children in her class would help themselves to her stationary without asking. And then a brand new very nice water bottle went missing. I emailed her teacher and asked if an email could be sent out to all the girls in her year and also parents to say that we would like it returned. Sure enough it turned up on a shelf, left no doubt by the anonymous thief who had been guilted into returning it. Dd2 is no longer at this school and the constant stealing (and it wasn't just us it happened to) was one reason why. She is now at a state school with far more students and so far nothing has been taken and no student touches her stuff.

Dd3 is starting a new school next week and I am now paranoid about stuff going missing. Hopefully my experience with above school is a one off but I have heard a lot on MN about uniform thieves who help themselves to stuff from lost property.

Sorry to go on about this but it is my pet hate. What makes people think this is an acceptable way to behave? If I write names with sharpie I feel as though I appear paranoid or mistrustful. I feel as though I shouldn't have to do this and a name label should suffice. Sad isn't it?

OP posts:
noenergy · 29/12/2016 06:14

My DD is at prep school and has lost numerous cardigans costing a fortune and a scarf, the scarf I refused to replace since it's not essential and it went missing on the first day she took it in from her peg.

All the mums are complaining they don't know where stuff is going, never turns up in lost property.

PossumInAPearTree · 29/12/2016 06:41

Years ago on a ski holiday we went to pick toddler dd up from the crèche and her lovely pink snow boots with white fake fur trim weren't there. Instead there was a pair of pink wellies a size too small.

We had to piggy back her back to our chalet. It was a small resort and there were only seven other chalets who used the crèche so after a few beers we did a late night reccy mission and spotted our boots through the window of a chalet. Our chalet girl knew the keypad number for the entry system so we got in and took them back. I don't believe they'd been taken accidentally.

Scooby20 · 29/12/2016 06:46

Op you are working on the assumption that the kids taking the stuff and then take it home. It's entirely possible most of them don't. They are taking stuff because they think it's funny or to be nasty.

Dds PE kit hit stolen from an apparently locked classroom. She was in there before and after lunch. It turned up 3 months later stuffed behind some filing cabinets.

It's all got her name in. But no parent would have ever known their kids stole and hid my dds PE kit.

ButterfliesRfree · 29/12/2016 07:06

I always use proper labels and we label our uniforms well. To be frank and honest we had more problems at one school over the others we attended. And it was a state school but more middle class well-to-do type families where the uniform went regularly missing. Over one year we lost 4 jumpers. All new and all labelled.
They did not turn up around the school when we looked for them nor in the lost property. Someone definitely was taking them and knowingly kept them even tho they were well named. Other schools (not middle class) no problems at all and we always got any lost uniform back. Uniform is not cheap, especially if you order it because you need an emblem. If it's labelled I see no reason why other people would want to knowingly take others uniforms. Its just a sad state of some people's heads I think.

HerBluebiro · 29/12/2016 07:24

My scarf was stolen at school by naice wealthy girls. It had my name on it. They then painted 'blue biro is a bitch' on it. And cut it into pieces and threw darts at it.

They were caught and made to buy a new one. No replacement of course, as this was a sentimental scarf not an expensive one.

Children are vicious

TeamLentil · 29/12/2016 07:27

I went to a posh private school. Had tons of things stolen from me and it took forever for my parents to start believing me Sad

Believeitornot · 29/12/2016 07:30

My dcs stuff goes missing but I think that's a combination of them losing it and people keeping stuff which isn't theirs.

A couple of times the dcs have come home with things which aren't theirs and being labelled, I've been able to return them quickly.

JerryFerry · 29/12/2016 07:33

Oh parents steal alright. Try preschools - some parents are so shameless, they just cut out the label and send their child in wearing the item. We've also caught them pilfering from the lost property box.

MistressMaisie · 29/12/2016 07:35

Why don't schools just say names on the outside. Marker pen name covered with name badge so even the name badges can't just be removed.

MistressMaisie · 29/12/2016 07:36

You can buy smartwater a blob of which gives a 'dna' link to your name and address which shows up under ultralight. A few smartwater labels might make a difference.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 29/12/2016 07:38

DS's primary school had a kid who was told by his parents to steal.

Several times I'd pick up DS and he'd be wearing an old, tatty, too-small jumper and I'd point out to him that it wasn't his. This kid would then take off the jumper he was wearing and hand it to us. Yup, was DS's. I assume his mum had told him to steal a bigger/newer one but the kid didn't really have the balls to do so.

Rainydayspending · 29/12/2016 07:46

It's a big thing in the school my two daughters are at (not generally middle class there, so theft is not limited to some class thing Hmm).
I label obviously and discretely (inside pockets for eg). I also buy from less used locations so I can narrow down what I am looking for. Obviously that wont work at secondary as there's usually only one thing to get.
Never found any items in lost property.
Two items were trying to be sold by the pta (labelled) they had never been in lost property.
I've also stopped children wearing my daughters things. Usually the obvious tag will have been removed. Confused

Goingtobeawesome · 29/12/2016 07:49

My son has had a brand new PE top and coat stolen. 😡

periwinklepickspoppies · 29/12/2016 07:53

We had this problem at a school that my three went to, thankfully the uniform shop had a free embroidery service so their initials went on everything. If any thief parent wanted to unpick that then they were welcome to it.

Fartleks · 29/12/2016 07:53

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B008JZR9K2/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1482997734&sr=8-4&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=name+labels&dpPl=1&dpID=51Tp2-v1NSL&ref=plSrch

I use these and stick two or three on each item. On labels and on the internal fabric. Not lost many things as a result thankfully.

SilkThreads · 29/12/2016 07:54

not uniform but I remember my kids leaving their 2 soft toy cats on a hedge at a theme park. old tatty, non branded. 5 mins later I realised and we headed back. I asked the family that were right there but they said: 'no sign'. as we walked away, I saw the cats stuffed in their buggy!!!
they shouted as I wrestled them out. I reported them to the park, and I believe a word was had.

Fartleks · 29/12/2016 07:55

Those name sticker can also be stuck to pens, pencil cases, bags

GnomeDePlume · 29/12/2016 08:05

Just relinking Fartleks recommendation:

www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_1_7?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=stikins&sprefix=stikins%2Caps%2C196&crid=31ZXHQPOVIAJ0

Having had DC go through cadets the stikins labels are absolutely brilliant. I stuck them to every bit of kit: from bergens to trousers. Nothing got lost or picked up by mistake and this in a situation where the kit of dozens of people is identical.

GET STIKINS

I dont work for the company BTW but these are brilliant.

GnomeDePlume · 29/12/2016 08:06

Great minds think alike Fartleks Wink

Emeraude · 29/12/2016 08:10

I am a teacher and have seen jumpers with names crossed out and someone else's written on top (subtle) as well as labels cut out.

That is rare though and more often than not when we get complaints that a jumper has gone missing, my usual question of, "Was her name in it?" gets met with an awkward look. They're all the same!!!

Fartleks · 29/12/2016 08:10

I do find things in lost property and all my sticky labels make picking things out very easy.

Fartleks · 29/12/2016 08:16

SmileGrin have you tried to pull a label off once it's been welded through time to fabric? It's very very difficult. We also use them on the sides of shoes and lunch boxes,

IdaDown · 29/12/2016 08:16

At DS's school the labels go on the outside of the uniform. Very easy to see if someone is wearing the wrong bit.

hibouhibou · 29/12/2016 08:20

I went to a private secondary stuff was stolen by 'rich kids' all the time. They did it just because they could. Silly for some to assume that they wouldn't because their families have money.

fiorentina · 29/12/2016 08:24

From my experience I went to a private school and a state school and more stuff was acquired by other pupils at the private school as some children had no concept of the value of money, what it means to replace things etc.
Where my DS school jumpers have gone this term is something of a mystery. Lost property box has none but he and his friends have lost about 10 between them. Is some strange parent really stockpiling them?!